Friday, May 24, 2019

It's that time of year again.

Oh, my...  We're facing another graduation.  This time we'll be watching our Ashley walk across the platform to receive her diploma, thrilled from head to foot that she has worked so hard and finally finished her schooling.  Two years ago, Dale graduated; two years before that, it was Katie; two years before that, Amanda.  Now, Ashley is counting down her final days as a high school student and chafing at the bit to actually be DONE!  Ashley desires to go into obstetrics/gynecology, possibly, or some other field that will enable her to help people in a definitive way.  She's spending the next year working to save up money so that she won't be so very deep in student loan debt once she is able to attend college.

Praise be to God for allowing us the grace, patience, wisdom, and love to help our children through these formative years in our care.  But wait!  There's more!  We still have one more child in school.  Emily is five years behind the others, but, starting this fall, she will be our only child in our school.  Frankly, that's gonna be weird.  I've had a vanful for back-and-forth school trips for the longest time; even the last two years since Dale graduated, he's come to school with us a good bit of the time, plus Emily and Ashley and whichever friends we're giving a ride home.  Next year, it'll just be Emily and me in the van.  We've had a taste of that this week since Ashley's been on her senior trip; Em and I have been to Starbucks once and Cowgirls' Coffee once---we're enjoying this alone time!

Update on Dale:  He got to have six sessions with a physical therapist earlier this year, and seemed to benefit from the extra exercise.  The therapist realized we would not be able to continue the sessions (our insurance only pays for six visits a year, and Dale's Medicaid is "under construction"), so he formulated a set of conditioning exercises that Dale could do daily at home.  Which Dale does, if he remembers or if we nag him!  The therapist stated that he believed Dale's muscles are strong but unreliable.  Dale's legs and arms tend to twitch and jerk unpredictably; this causes Dale to lose confidence in his own limbs' ability to support him.  Consequently, he takes short, stumbling steps and constantly hunches over, preparing for the next jerk or fall.  We are continually trying to convince Dale that the exercises will help him gain stability and confidence, but that, frankly, is an ongoing battle!

We're still looking for ideas to keep Dale's mind sharp and his time occupied with more than just YouTube.  A very kind man at church gave Dale a HUGE book about computers, as well as an old monitor and keyboard to practice taking apart...and, hopefully, putting back together again.  Dale's read part of the book but is afraid of ruining the monitor, so he has yet to experiment with it.  Several people have offered suggestions for Dale to try, and we appreciate each one.  His attention span lasts for only a few weeks at a time; he is genuinely interested in each new project, but loses that interest within a short time.  So, if anyone has any project ideas or areas of interest to research, please let us know.  We look into each new idea, but are forced to discard many of them because they cannot be tailored to suit Dale's physical abilities.

Katie graduated from Gene Juarez Beauty Academy the third week of March!  She spent thirty hours a week for thirteen months to learn so much about hair cuts and styles and coloring and tips.  She had already been working part-time as a spa hostess at one of the Gene Juarez salons; she was able to schedule her work hours around her school hours, but it was still a very looooong thirteen months.  She decided to take it easy after graduating and not stress out about finding a stylist job fresh out of school.  Now, she's interviewing at a couple of different salons, looking for the right fit and excited about the possibilities.

Chad just started a new schedule at work, one that is different enough from what we'd all become accustomed to that it is requiring quite a bit of determined thought to remember it!  His days off, his bedtimes and rising times, his coming home times are all different now.  Probably by the time we finally adjust, his schedule will change again!  I thank God for my husband's hard work and ability to provide so well for our family.  He doesn't just pay the bills; he plans ahead and keeps a good budget and always thinks of fun family outings to break up the monotony of school and work and all.  He's a good man, a great father, and a loving husband.  We are so blessed to have him leading our family.

I'm kind of surprised by this blog entry.  Usually, I'm long-winded and bit depressing, but this post is of average length and rather cheerful.  And, for that, I am thankful.  Too often I focus on the problems and difficulties our family faces, and end with our deliberate decision to trust God anyway.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.  But it's nice to write a simple account of the latest doings of various members of our family.  It's refreshing.  And it's the truth:  no embellishments, no disguising our feelings, no highlighting the bright spots and hiding the bad.  Too often, social media can paint a very unreal picture of family life; it's a blessing to be able to be honest and yet upbeat.  Praise the Lord!

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.  Amen.

Psalm 146: 1-2  "Praise ye the LORD.  Praise the LORD, O my soul.  While I live will I praise the LORD:  I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being."

Psalm 147: 1  "Praise ye the LORD:  for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely."

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Life goes on....

It has been simply AGES since I've written.  I realize my last blog entry was before last summer.  Where in the world has the time gone?  Our lives have been no busier than at any other time of the year.  It would be nice to blame the stress of the season or our crazy schedules or sports practices and games for the lack of interest in blogging, but, to be honest, I just haven't felt like writing.  Sometimes updating this blog feels like whitewashing our real lives, giving a condensed, cheery, not-quite-accurate-but-close-enough account of our family instead of the hard, bare, ofttimes dismal facts.  Not to say we are miserable yet deliberately painting everything bright yellow---more like, we are an average family with average stress, average income, average problems, average accomplishments, and average lives.  We got thrust into the limelight seven years ago, but we're not in that limelight now.  Now we're just living, day by day, just like every other family on the planet.

So is there a need to keep this blog going?  Is there a reason still?  Am I making a valid contribution to social media?  I mean, who really cares about what happens to a family that not many people still remember hearing about?  Dale's accident was, in many ways, a lifetime ago.  Why bother?

Because there are those who do remember those awful first few days, first few weeks.  There are those who still can't look at waves crashing onto the shore without shuddering.  There are those who remember staying up round the clock and praying for Dale, knowing we were doing the same by his hospital bedside.  There are those who regularly sent us encouraging emails, letters, cards, gifts, dinner vouchers, anything that would help relieve our burden at that time.  There are those who devoured every word posted on this blog and forwarded it to others to read.  There are those who clipped every newspaper article about Dale and even recorded every news program mentioning him.  They prayed, cried, loved, and believed right alongside us, and we are forever grateful.  They are why we still write.

Because there are those who randomly search the internet and discover Dale's story.  They are amazed anew at God's mercy and provision.  They are brought closer to Him through this blog's regular account of Dale's progress and needs.  They read and realize that a life spent serving God does not mean a life of ease; a life given to God does not equal a life without worry or fear or burden.  A life with God means having Someone to turn to when the worry hovers, when the fear threatens, when the burden chokes.  They read Dale's story and thank God for the well-being of their own children.  They have a greater desire to help others because of the testimony of so many people around the world who responded when we needed help.  They are why we still write.

Because there are those who need to know that they are not the only ones facing difficulties.  They are not the only family struggling with daily doubt and care and questions and stress.  They are not alone in wondering why life has to be so hard.  And, let's face it:  life is hard.  There are not enough adjectives in the dictionary to fully describe just how hard life is.  For our family, we struggle every day with not hurling angry words at Dale when helping him lurch back and forth to the bathroom, knowing that a great part of his physical limitations are of his own doing.  We struggle with having to always limit our family plans to something that can accommodate him; just going to the mall requires special thought and planning.  We live on high alert, waiting for the next thump that means Dale has fallen or cry of dismay that means he's knocked his drink over.  It's similar to having a toddler in the house:  he's old enough to do some things for himself, but there's still so much that we have to do for him.  It's frustrating to have to think for him because he doesn't plan ahead, and it's annoying for him to insist he's right when we know he's not remembering things correctly because his memory is very bad.  And that's not all that's hard about life.  There's doctor bills and school assignments and job stress and family squabbles and upcoming life changes and shopping trips and church functions and everything else that makes life stressful and wonderful and challenging and crazy.  There are those who need to look at our life to realize that they are not the only ones who struggle.  There are those who need to be able to compare our difficulties with their own---and thank God for their own!  They are why we still write.

There are those who are still learning from our example.  Now, I'm not saying our situation is some perfect demonstration of God working His purpose through a godly family.  Trust me: we are not angels; we are not sitting around, our hands folded piously in prayer, with shining golden halos floating above our heads. I believe we are an ordinary family; God chose to allow an unthinkable tragedy to occur to us and was honored by not just our response but that of people around us.  I believe God intended to take Dale home that day, but He changed His plans because of the prayers and trust of His people, and allowed Dale to live.  Our job now is to continue to honor and glorify Him through life's daily challenges.  And, I have to admit:  more than half the time we fail.  We fail to glorify God through our struggles, our pain, our disappointments.  We fail to fully trust God's plan for our daily lives.  We "made it" through the big test, but we tend to do poorly on the day-to-day trials.  There are those who, by asking us constantly how Dale is doing and what we expect for his future, are reminding us to trust our Father Who is never wrong.  They keep us accountable for God's miracle.  They are why we still write.

Because....I need it.  I need this outlet for the pent-up emotions and complaints and thought processes.  I need this place to think through my daily struggle to trust God fully.  I need to pour out my hurts and desires and bitterness and fear, not just so I can be free of them, but so others can read how I feel, how my family is feeling, how we react, how we keep going.  I appreciate the God-given talent for writing that I possess, and I honestly enjoy finding the exact words to use to express my inmost thoughts.  I need this.  I need this blog to share our family with whoever chooses to read.  I am why I still write.

You see?  God knows everything.  He absolutely knows which category listed above we fall into, and He knows how to meet each need.  He knows what He's doing. He's worth trusting. And life does, indeed, go on. It goes on after each victory, and it goes on after each defeat. It goes on after each joy, and it goes on after each sorrow. It goes on after each mountaintop, and it goes on after each valley. Life simply.....goes on. We have to choose to keep living. We can't freeze time when life is perfect, nor should we allow our lives to be frozen in a moment that's tragic. Our Father knows His plans for our future; if He had wanted us to stay locked in a specific time period, never progressing past that hurt, He would have frozen us there of His own accord. But He hasn't. And by choosing to continue living---and, specifically, living a life pleasing to Him, we are showing Him and those around us that we are still trusting God with our lives---past, present, future. That's why I choose to continue to write: I am showing my Father and each of you readers my decision to keep trusting God, no matter how easy or hard life is.

We can all benefit from this blog.  I pray you find help, comfort, direction, and love whenever you follow along with us here.

Hebrews 13:16  "But to do good and to communicate forget not:  for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."