tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10055827288551256432024-03-01T23:50:12.810-08:00Prayers for DalePrayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.comBlogger220125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-49860820167546810732019-05-24T13:30:00.000-07:002019-05-24T13:30:19.004-07:00It's that time of year again.<span style="font-size: large;">Oh, my... We're facing another graduation. This time we'll be watching our Ashley walk across the platform to receive her diploma, thrilled from head to foot that she has worked so hard and finally finished her schooling. Two years ago, Dale graduated; two years before that, it was Katie; two years before that, Amanda. Now, Ashley is counting down her final days as a high school student and chafing at the bit to actually be DONE! Ashley desires to go into obstetrics/gynecology, possibly, or some other field that will enable her to help people in a definitive way. She's spending the next year working to save up money so that she won't be so very deep in student loan debt once she is able to attend college.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Praise be to God for allowing us the grace, patience, wisdom, and love to help our children through these formative years in our care. But wait! There's more! We still have one more child in school. Emily is five years behind the others, but, starting this fall, she will be our only child in our school. Frankly, that's gonna be <i><u>weird</u></i>. I've had a vanful for back-and-forth school trips for the longest time; even the last two years since Dale graduated, he's come to school with us a good bit of the time, plus Emily and Ashley and whichever friends we're giving a ride home. Next year, it'll just be Emily and me in the van. We've had a taste of that this week since Ashley's been on her senior trip; Em and I have been to Starbucks once and Cowgirls' Coffee once---we're enjoying this alone time!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Update on Dale: He got to have six sessions with a physical therapist earlier this year, and seemed to benefit from the extra exercise. The therapist realized we would not be able to continue the sessions (our insurance only pays for six visits a year, and Dale's Medicaid is "under construction"), so he formulated a set of conditioning exercises that Dale could do daily at home. Which Dale does, if he remembers or if we nag him! The therapist stated that he believed Dale's muscles are strong but unreliable. Dale's legs and arms tend to twitch and jerk unpredictably; this causes Dale to lose confidence in his own limbs' ability to support him. Consequently, he takes short, stumbling steps and constantly hunches over, preparing for the next jerk or fall. We are continually trying to convince Dale that the exercises will help him gain stability and confidence, but that, frankly, is an ongoing battle!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We're still looking for ideas to keep Dale's mind sharp and his time occupied with more than just YouTube. A very kind man at church gave Dale a HUGE book about computers, as well as an old monitor and keyboard to practice taking apart...and, hopefully, putting back together again. Dale's read part of the book but is afraid of ruining the monitor, so he has yet to experiment with it. Several people have offered suggestions for Dale to try, and we appreciate each one. His attention span lasts for only a few weeks at a time; he is genuinely interested in each new project, but loses that interest within a short time. So, if anyone has any project ideas or areas of interest to research, please let us know. We look into each new idea, but are forced to discard many of them because they cannot be tailored to suit Dale's physical abilities.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Katie graduated from Gene Juarez Beauty Academy the third week of March! She spent thirty hours a week for thirteen months to learn so much about hair cuts and styles and coloring and tips. She had already been working part-time as a spa hostess at one of the Gene Juarez salons; she was able to schedule her work hours around her school hours, but it was still a very looooong thirteen months. She decided to take it easy after graduating and not stress out about finding a stylist job fresh out of school. Now, she's interviewing at a couple of different salons, looking for the right fit and excited about the possibilities.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Chad just started a new schedule at work, one that is different enough from what we'd all become accustomed to that it is requiring quite a bit of determined thought to remember it! His days off, his bedtimes and rising times, his coming home times are all different now. Probably by the time we finally adjust, his schedule will change again! I thank God for my husband's hard work and ability to provide so well for our family. He doesn't just pay the bills; he plans ahead and keeps a good budget and always thinks of fun family outings to break up the monotony of school and work and all. He's a good man, a great father, and a loving husband. We are so blessed to have him leading our family.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm kind of surprised by this blog entry. Usually, I'm long-winded and bit depressing, but this post is of average length and rather cheerful. And, for that, I am thankful. Too often I focus on the problems and difficulties our family faces, and end with our deliberate decision to trust God anyway. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But it's nice to write a simple account of the latest doings of various members of our family. It's refreshing. And it's the truth: no embellishments, no disguising our feelings, no highlighting the bright spots and hiding the bad. Too often, social media can paint a very unreal picture of family life; it's a blessing to be able to be honest and yet upbeat. Praise the Lord!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Praise God from Whom all blessings flow;</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Praise Him, all creatures here below;</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Psalm 146: 1-2 "Praise ye the LORD. Praise the LORD, O my soul. While I live will I praise the LORD: I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Psalm 147: 1 "Praise ye the LORD: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely."</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-90485268424426315092019-01-02T18:03:00.000-08:002019-01-02T18:03:00.674-08:00Life goes on....It has been simply AGES since I've written. I realize my last blog entry was before last summer. Where in the world has the time gone? Our lives have been no busier than at any other time of the year. It would be nice to blame the stress of the season or our crazy schedules or sports practices and games for the lack of interest in blogging, but, to be honest, I just haven't felt like writing. Sometimes updating this blog feels like whitewashing our real lives, giving a condensed, cheery, not-quite-accurate-but-close-enough account of our family instead of the hard, bare, ofttimes dismal facts. Not to say we are miserable yet deliberately painting everything bright yellow---more like, we are an average family with average stress, average income, average problems, average accomplishments, and average lives. We got thrust into the limelight seven years ago, but we're not in that limelight now. Now we're just living, day by day, just like every other family on the planet.<br />
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So is there a need to keep this blog going? Is there a reason still? Am I making a valid contribution to social media? I mean, who really cares about what happens to a family that not many people still remember hearing about? Dale's accident was, in many ways, a lifetime ago. Why bother?<br />
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Because there are those who do remember those awful first few days, first few weeks. There are those who still can't look at waves crashing onto the shore without shuddering. There are those who remember staying up round the clock and praying for Dale, knowing we were doing the same by his hospital bedside. There are those who regularly sent us encouraging emails, letters, cards, gifts, dinner vouchers, anything that would help relieve our burden at that time. There are those who devoured every word posted on this blog and forwarded it to others to read. There are those who clipped every newspaper article about Dale and even recorded every news program mentioning him. They prayed, cried, loved, and believed right alongside us, and we are forever grateful. They are why we still write.<br />
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Because there are those who randomly search the internet and discover Dale's story. They are amazed anew at God's mercy and provision. They are brought closer to Him through this blog's regular account of Dale's progress and needs. They read and realize that a life spent serving God does not mean a life of ease; a life given to God does not equal a life without worry or fear or burden. A life with God means having Someone to turn to when the worry hovers, when the fear threatens, when the burden chokes. They read Dale's story and thank God for the well-being of their own children. They have a greater desire to help others because of the testimony of so many people around the world who responded when we needed help. They are why we still write.<br />
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Because there are those who need to know that they are not the only ones facing difficulties. They are not the only family struggling with daily doubt and care and questions and stress. They are not alone in wondering why life has to be so hard. And, let's face it: life is hard. There are not enough adjectives in the dictionary to fully describe just how hard life is. For our family, we struggle every day with not hurling angry words at Dale when helping him lurch back and forth to the bathroom, knowing that a great part of his physical limitations are of his own doing. We struggle with having to always limit our family plans to something that can accommodate him; just going to the mall requires special thought and planning. We live on high alert, waiting for the next thump that means Dale has fallen or cry of dismay that means he's knocked his drink over. It's similar to having a toddler in the house: he's old enough to do some things for himself, but there's still so much that we have to do for him. It's frustrating to have to think for him because he doesn't plan ahead, and it's annoying for him to insist he's right when we know he's not remembering things correctly because his memory is very bad. And that's not all that's hard about life. There's doctor bills and school assignments and job stress and family squabbles and upcoming life changes and shopping trips and church functions and everything else that makes life stressful and wonderful and challenging and crazy. There are those who need to look at our life to realize that they are not the only ones who struggle. There are those who need to be able to compare our difficulties with their own---and thank God for their own! They are why we still write.<br />
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There are those who are still learning from our example. Now, I'm not saying our situation is some perfect demonstration of God working His purpose through a godly family. Trust me: we are not angels; we are not sitting around, our hands folded piously in prayer, with shining golden halos floating above our heads. I believe we are an ordinary family; God chose to allow an unthinkable tragedy to occur to us and was honored by not just our response but that of people around us. I believe God intended to take Dale home that day, but He changed His plans because of the prayers and trust of His people, and allowed Dale to live. Our job now is to continue to honor and glorify Him through life's daily challenges. And, I have to admit: more than half the time we fail. We fail to glorify God through our struggles, our pain, our disappointments. We fail to fully trust God's plan for our daily lives. We "made it" through the big test, but we tend to do poorly on the day-to-day trials. There are those who, by asking us constantly how Dale is doing and what we expect for his future, are reminding us to trust our Father Who is never wrong. They keep us accountable for God's miracle. They are why we still write.<br />
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Because....I need it. I need this outlet for the pent-up emotions and complaints and thought processes. I need this place to think through my daily struggle to trust God fully. I need to pour out my hurts and desires and bitterness and fear, not just so I can be free of them, but so others can read how I feel, how my family is feeling, how we react, how we keep going. I appreciate the God-given talent for writing that I possess, and I honestly enjoy finding the exact words to use to express my inmost thoughts. I need this. I need this blog to share our family with whoever chooses to read. I am why I still write.<br />
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You see? God knows everything. He absolutely knows which category listed above we fall into, and He knows how to meet each need. He knows what He's doing. He's worth trusting. And life does, indeed, go on. It goes on after each victory, and it goes on after each defeat. It goes on after each joy, and it goes on after each sorrow. It goes on after each mountaintop, and it goes on after each valley. Life simply.....goes on. We have to choose to keep living. We can't freeze time when life is perfect, nor should we allow our lives to be frozen in a moment that's tragic. Our Father knows His plans for our future; if He had wanted us to stay locked in a specific time period, never progressing past that hurt, He would have frozen us there of His own accord. But He hasn't. And by choosing to continue living---and, specifically, living a life pleasing to Him, we are showing Him and those around us that we are still trusting God with our lives---past, present, future. That's why I choose to continue to write: I am showing my Father and each of you readers my decision to keep trusting God, no matter how easy or hard life is.<br />
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We can all benefit from this blog. I pray you find help, comfort, direction, and love whenever you follow along with us here.<br />
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Hebrews 13:16 "But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-78323617377528269072018-05-18T10:56:00.000-07:002018-05-18T10:56:02.916-07:00Summer is almost here!<span style="font-size: large;">I can't believe we've reached the end of another school year! Despite the fact that many school days seem to drag on and on, we actually have only a couple of weeks left before we're free. I'm just quoting the students here; this wording in no way reflects how I feel as a teacher...(cough, cough)...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This time last year, our family was in a whirlwind of excitement because Dale was graduating! We spent soooo much time---and money---finding table decorations, setting up the reception area, printing out announcements, and trying to remember all the last-minute necessities to celebrate Dale's achievement; once graduation night was finally over, our whole family took a much-needed break. This year, we can take it a little easier. Ashley graduates next year; my English classes are taking their finals a bit early; and, so far, I have no responsibilities graduation night. Summer, here we come!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I wrote in my last post about Dale's struggles with finding a goal or purpose since graduation. He is continuing to spend most of his time sitting at the table, playing on his iPad, or watching TV. However, he seems to be realizing that his opportunity to recover his lost mobility is slipping away. Chad walked Dale over to the barbershop across the street from our house this week; he reported that Dale seriously struggled just getting from the front door across the street to the barber. But this time Dale noticed how hard it was just to walk. Dale actually realized just how much mobility he's lost due to his inactive state. You see, when Dale needs to walk somewhere, anywhere, he takes a few long, quick strides (before his fear of falling kicks in); then he jerks to a halt and begins taking short, halting, tiny steps. This naturally increases the time it takes for him to get where he's going. These baby steps are accompanied by a hunched back, curved shoulders, labored breathing, and sweaty palms. At least once during each walk, Dale needs to pause and regroup before proceeding with his painstaking steps. His balance is very unstable, making it the responsibility of the person walking with him to keep him balanced and upright, poised at any moment to adjust Dale's balance or catch him if he should start to fall. Needless to say, walking with Dale---even just from the bathroom to his bedroom---is a long, hard, frustrating prospect. My husband has been encouraging us to show compassion for Dale, instead of anger or annoyance. He has correctly pointed out that, as frustrating as it is for us to have to shuffle with Dale across the room and back, it's ten times as hard for Dale because THIS IS DALE'S LIFE NOW. This is how he is, every day, every hour, every church service, every time we want to have a family outing. We have to ability to walk away once our duties with Dale are completed, but Dale <b><i><u>lives</u></i></b> with himself and his disabilities day in, day out. Dale knows that he did this to himself and he knows that nothing is going to get magically better: he is going to continue to decline until he's in a power wheelchair....or worse. This is not the life he dreamed of, nor is it the life he would have chosen, even if he did choose to stop trying, thereby making his life more difficult than it maybe should have been. Chad is right: we need to show compassion toward Dale and help him cheerfully and willingly. If all we show is anger and annoyance, our relationships with Dale will be damaged. And, those relationships are all he has now. He has occasional fun outings with Bro. Goltiao and some of the guys, but we are his main interactions. He is in church services a few hours each week, but he lives in our house 24/7. He needs the strong, loving, happy, teasing, friendly relationships with his family in order to have as full a life as is possible. There well may come a day when he will be an invalid, a vegetable, or comatose because of his seizures; how sad it would be if the last memories we have with Dale are filled with irritation, harsh words, unkind thoughts, or anger. We need to make sure we maintain a kind, compassionate, giving attitude toward Dale; we will be helping fill his days with light and cheer, as well as pleasing God with our actions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We recently moved into a new house! God amazingly worked everything for our good, as He always does when we surrender our will to Him and let Him have His way. I wanted a house on five acres with at least 3,000 square feet, a big kitchen, multiple bathrooms, and possibly a mother-in-law suite for guests. We sold our old house in November and moved December 1st into a rental. Our plan was to look around for a couple of months before beginning the buying process. I found online a handful of really nice houses that seemed to meet every desire I had! Only problem was, we didn't qualify for any of those houses. Chad spoke with our wonderful realtor, Michele Wright, and gave her a list of what "we" were looking for; I admit I was upset when I found out he'd spoken to her without my input! Then, she emailed him several listings meeting his specifications, and they planned to meet one day to view some listings. I was in school and could not accompany them. Imagine my shock when Chad called and said that he had decided to put an offer on a house and that Michele was emailing me the signing documents!!! I was soooo upset! I had not even seen the house in person (only pictures which, honestly, were not very encouraging), and here my husband wanted to just up and buy the house! We were able to arrange a second viewing that afternoon after school, and I was AMAZED. Even though I was still scared to buy a house that far away from church/school (30 minutes!), I loved the house when I saw it. We are now the proud owners of a one-story beautiful farmstyle house. It is a deep farmhouse red with white trim, sitting on just over a quarter acre. It's actually inside the town limits, giving us easy access to a Wal-Mart, Safeway, and Goodwill, while letting us enjoy the peace of the countryside on the drive to and from wherever. I'm still surprised by the quiet of our house! I had become used to the constant hum of traffic, but now the night is fairly quiet. We have 2330 square feet, 3 bedrooms plus a den which we made into a bedroom for Dale, 2 bathrooms, a huge kitchen, a huge sunken family room, hardwood floors, a large deck, a playhouse for Emily, a large garden area, cherry trees, a grapevine, and rhodies!!! We absolutely love our new home and are so grateful for God's blessing. He gave us the home we needed instead of the home I desired. Plus, having (almost) everything on one level makes life so much easier for all of us, especially Dale. God is good!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, life continues as usual, filled with activities, school, church, relaxation, softball (Chad), volleyball (Ashley and Emily), ups , downs, music, excitement, boredom, endless laundry, and love. Our God remains our constant, and we rest in His care. May you do the same.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I Peter 5:7 "Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you."</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-60739886006690113982018-02-13T17:49:00.001-08:002018-02-13T17:49:45.702-08:00Wow, do I have a lot of explaining to do!<span style="font-size: large;">It has officially been five full months since I last wrote on this blog. That is, without a doubt, an extremely long time between posts! I have numerous explanations I could make, abundant excuses to submit, and plenteous details to frame why I've been silent for so long. But, as usual, the plain truth is best.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've been silent because I've been sick. Sick of the excuses Dale makes why he doesn't try to keep up with his exercises, sick of trying to explain the ways of the Almighty to those who don't want to hear the truth, sick of working so hard to help my family see God's faithfulness in the midst of our daily struggles, and actually physically sick with a pretty bad cold.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Do you ever get that way? Just sick of trying so hard at life and absolutely getting nowhere? Feeling like you're slogging through thick, black mud; not understanding why life has to be so hard; alternating between begging God for help---and answers---and not bothering to even <i>think</i> a prayer because you feel as though He's not listening anyway? Yeah, that's about it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Trust me---you're not the only one feeling like that. I can't tell you how many times I have had to convince myself to just keep trusting God. I can't keep count of how many times I've felt like a hypocrite at church, smiling widely and praising God while my heart aches and my shoulders sag because of the burdens our family bears. Time and again, I've felt like such a phony because I'm talking to my kids, reminding them that God is good and we can trust Him to make good come from anything, and the voice in my head is contradicting every single sentence I'm uttering.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But let me remind you: We only fail when we quit. We only lose the fight when we stop fighting. We only fail when we quit letting God work. And the wonderful part is....just because we quit doesn't mean we're done for good. We can quit trying, quit fighting, quit believing; and then we can start again. Rejoin the fight. Decide to believe again. Choose one more time to keep going. All we have to do is get up one time more than we fall down. All we have to do is start over one time more than we give up in defeat. You see, our God is <b><i>amazing</i></b>. He is loving and kind and forgiving. Don't you know He knows how frail we are? Don't you realize He knows how weak we are, how susceptible to the enemy's vile whisperings we are, how easy it is for us to sink under the overwhelming hardships of everyday life? He is very aware of the temptations we face and the desire we have to just be done with it all, and He has promised never to leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). God stays right there next to us, within arm's reach, never more than a breath away. He never leaves us, even when we're done with Him. When we rail at God, when we accuse Him of being deliberately cruel, when we think He doesn't care, when <u>we</u> just don't care any more, when we are at our lowest low, He is there. Sometimes audibly through a friend's voice or a sermon or song; sometimes silently, just waiting there; ofttimes hurting, crying, right along with us. Why would we ever think He doesn't care about us? God sent His Son to Earth to <b><u>die</u></b> for us. Of course, He loves us and wants to help us with our troubles. We are the ones who doubt and struggle and turn away. We are the ones who assign human emotions and human failings to our omnipotent, never changing, always loving Heavenly Father. We are the ones who lose faith and then believe God did, too. No, our God is faithful and good, and He is ever mindful of our needs, big and small. As often as our problems dance before our eyes, we need to </span><span style="font-size: large;">remind ourselves that our God is worthy of our trust. Each time we face yet another struggle with doubt and despair, we must choose to believe God is able to fulfill His promise in Romans 8:28 to make all things work together for our good. That doesn't necessarily mean we'll see how things can be good; we may never understand why God allows certain difficulties into our lives, but we can believe that He knows why those things are for our good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Concerning Dale's actual condition, he is steadily losing ability. Since his graduation last June, he has lost much of his desire to continue trying. Just like the rest of us, he is realizing just how bleak his future looks. He was fairly social, going to school and church and youth activities and family outings. But now his world has shrunk to just church services and the occasional family trip. He has exercise tools at his disposal (weights, strength balls, stretching bands, etc.) so that he can keep up his strength and muscle tone; but most days he chooses not to use those tools. Instead, Dale spends much of his time either on his iPad playing video games or watching TV. His reason for his deliberate decision to give up trying to improve physically? "Why bother? It won't do any good." We've pleaded with him, scolded him, cajoled him, cried with him, begged him, yelled at him, bargained with him, argued with him---all to no avail. The "talks" to try to encourage him inevitably turn into tears and anger because Dale is just about as stubborn as one can get. He has decided he doesn't want to put forth any more effort that, in his mind, will get him nowhere; and no amount of persuasive arguing or bargaining or pleading has gotten through.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale honestly just wants to be done with this life. He wants to go to Heaven where he will be able to walk again and move freely and run and move without falling. He's so done with trying and struggling....and failing. Every conversation we have with him ends with the same declaration: He just wants it to be over. We've tried reminding him of past successes with exercising and walking; we've tried reminding him that, six months ago before he gave up completely on trying to improve, he was doing better than he is now; we've tried arguing that he can't just give up now and wait to die because he might live for another sixty years! Dale admits that he's gotten worse physically since he completely gave up; he is willing to concede that simply standing up requires concentrated effort now; he knows that he shakes and falls and struggles so much more now than he did even six months ago. But he just doesn't care any more. He's done. Even the realization that he is making caring for him so much harder now does nothing to stir him from his chair. Even knowing the stress we endure because of his declining condition and the physical pain we suffer from supporting his frame as we walk with him and the sharpened senses we've developed to be aware of his jerking and catch him before he falls doesn't change his attitude or his decision. He's simply done.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">To those readers who might think we're letting our son down by not forcing him to exercise, signing him up for biweekly physical therapy, enrolling him in some college course, or quitting our jobs to stay home to nurture and care for him, please understand that we've tried. Dale is an adult now and cannot be forced to do things he doesn't want to do. He is in a low place with no hope for a future that looks at all worth living for. We have tried numerous times and ways to find things Dale can still do or enjoy, but each time he jerks or falls or struggles, the idea that "he can't" is strengthened in his mind and he resolves even more strongly to just stop trying. We've looked into college, but Dale struggled to complete his high school courses; he can't take notes in a classroom setting or even just listen to the instructor without losing his train of thought. His capacity for memorizing and taking tests is very limited as well. He isn't retarded (I hate using that word!), just limited. He also cannot get himself around very well, even in a wheelchair; his arms and legs jerk almost uncontrollably, and that jerking lately has led to a couple of serious seizures. So he would need someone with him everywhere he goes, to assist him if he begins jerking or falling. We've looked into physical therapy, but our insurance only pays for a half dozen appointments <b>per year</b>; it honestly wouldn't do Dale any good to go to one appointment every two months, especially when he won't keep up with any exercises at home. Trust me, we've tried. As for quitting my job to stay home with him, well, it may come to that. Half my mind tells me to care for the ones God has given me to care for, even if the caring extends beyond the normal amount of years. The other half tells me that staying home with my son wouldn't change much in his world, except perhaps inciting more arguments when he won't do any exercises and won't even try. I love teaching and love being at school, but I've considered giving up my job in order to focus more on my son. We do have other children to pay attention to, though, so Dale can't have our undivided focus.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Lost in all of this is our childlike faith in the perfectness of God's ways. We have gone from being that family that said, "Whatever You choose, Lord, we will trust You," to now saying, "Why, Lord, did You allow this? What are we supposed to do now?" It was almost easy to trust God when circumstances were out of our control---the drowning and aftereffects, compared to now when the circumstances are very much in Dale's control and he chooses to just quit trying. We are finding it much more difficult to keep trusting God's plan when we feel like, if Dale would just try, things would be so much easier. I'm certain we are not the first family to ever face this particular giant of despair, and we won't be the last. I pray that my girls, older and younger, will continue to trust God's unseen hand and serve Him regardless of the difficulty. I pray my son will eventually see God again for the omniscient Father that He is, and will begin to have hope for the future again. I pray my husband will not give up hope either and that he'll stay strong throughout the coming years. I pray that I will be the candle that continues to shine in this darkness to show my family---my girls especially---that God is good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">One thing more: In a recent talk I had with Dale, I discovered something amazing. Back before the accident at age twelve, Dale had planned to be an inventor. He would fill notebooks with drawings and ideas and would talk about these plans with his best friend. The accident changed <u>everything</u>. He struggled so much with school and walking and even holding a pencil to write. I just assumed his dream of inventing things went by the wayside; I also assumed it was just a little boy's dream. Do you know, Dale still has that dream inside him? You should have seen his face light up when he was telling me about some of his ideas! I want to find some way to help him achieve this dream. This may be the catalyst that spurs him to action (literally) again, that pulls him out of his despair, that sets him on a path to hope and God. I went to Wal-Mart and purchased him another notebook and set it on the table with a pen "just in case he had another idea he wanted to jot down." This is something I would like to request specific prayer for: that Dale could somehow be granted the gift of bringing one of his ideas or inventions to life. I don't know how or when this could happen, but I would love to have others praying with me about this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">James 1:17 "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-60005742070349611912017-08-11T23:05:00.001-07:002017-08-11T23:05:09.800-07:00Well….now what???<span style="font-size: large;">You know that let-down feeling you get after Christmas? You've spent the last month (or more) listening to Christmas carols; you've pushed your way through countless crowds each time you dare to enter a store to shop for that perfect present; you've decorated with only red and green for weeks; and you've had to install a hidden camera in the family room to make sure no one touches those gifts under the tree. Finally, Christmas morning arrives! The kids dive into the pile, shrieking madly, while Mom attempts to take pictures and Dad drinks his coffee. Shredded paper, ribbons, bows, and boxes go flying as each person finally finds out what they got for Christmas. The joy, the delight, the unsurpassed ecstasy of this moment!!! </span><span style="font-size: large;">And then….it's over. No more surprises to unveil, no more presents to unwrap, no more "I hope I got _____ in my stocking!" All that's left is a mountain of garbage and that sobering realization that there's nothing to look forward to for another year. Actual depression sets in, along with a sense of bleakness, as the thing you longed for for so long now becomes a thing of the past.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">That is kind of what we've been feeling since Dale's graduation. That huge accomplishment we've all been working toward over the last several years is now, just, done. There's no more need to push Dale to finish his school work or remind him of his end-game goals or go through his backpack to find PACEs that have been buried. There's no more sense of anticipation mixed with dread over the looming deadline for school work to be completed. There's no more scouring the stores for decorations for the big party or hoping everything goes well. The announcements have been handed out; the ceremony has been concluded; the diplomas have been given; the streamers and balloons have been cleared away. Now we're kind of in that fog of unreality thinking, "Now what?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Every week, someone asks, "So what are Dale's plans?" Honestly, I have no idea. Chad, Dale, and I have talked long about possible ideas for the future, and we've looked into various programs for someone with Dale's disability. But that's kind of it: there is no set plan for someone with Dale's unique disabled condition. Programs for disabled individuals range from requiring on-campus housing in Minnesota (no joke) to being tailored more for those in power chairs. Dale's inability to control his jerking limbs, his frequent shaking and falling, and his attention span deficiency make regular classroom attendance rather difficult. He would basically need someone to attend classes with him to assist him with whatever problem presents itself that day. Also, Dale struggled so much with recalling information and testing and writing in high school, I don't think traditional classes would work for him. We're leaning toward online classes in some field, but I have a lot more research to do before we enroll him anywhere. Plus, we're waiting to hear what programs or grants he may qualify for before making any major decisions about further schooling. This is a matter we would love to have folks praying with us about.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Another matter for prayer: Dale sees his new neurologist next week. Since he is now officially an adult, he can no longer see his pediatric neurologist, the one who's been with us since the accident six years ago. PLEASE, please pray with us that we'll like this new doctor and that he'll have a good understanding of Dale's case. You know how hard it is to shop for doctors! I don't foresee this doc changing Dale's meds or anything, but I'm still nervous. Dale, per usual, is oblivious. He'll probably ask me, "Why aren't we going to Dr. Al-Mateen any more?" despite my having explained it numerous times. (Did I mention he has memory difficulties and the attention span of a gnat?)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And yet another thing (because issues never wait patiently for a time when you are ready to think about them): School starts again in a few weeks! AAAAhhhhhh! Commence with the pulling out of the hair; stockpile paper bags for breathing; apply extra deodorant; and, whatever you do, don't make eye contact! Just kidding, I love teaching and am looking forward to another school year. We had intended for Katie to be "in charge" of Dale during the day while Emily, Ashley, and I were at school, because Katie worked afternoons and evenings. She, however, just landed a new job at a Gene Juarez salon, and we're not sure what her new schedule will allow. So Dale may still have to go to school with us every day, even though he's graduated and earned the right to never darken the doors again! I was hoping he would not have to get up at 6:45 every morning any more, but it looks like that may still be the case. Yea.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you can't tell, our family uses humor and sarcasm a lot to diffuse our stress. And, like every other family on the planet, we have a lot of stress! Everyday things like the dog having accidents (how can it be called an accident when you just let her out five minutes ago?!), the TV going on the fritz (like, all the time), or dinner being burnt beyond recognition (why, no, that's never happened to me) can cause stress to anyone. Non-regular events like trying to figure out how your son managed to wedge himself between the toilet and the wall when he fell (too many times to count...), having to keep a bowl under the dripping toilet tank (cracked when Dale fell) until you can replace the unit, and realizing that there's an almost-pleasing pattern to the numerous indentations in the walls (caused, yes, by Dale's bum each time he falls!) cause our family extra stress. We choose to alleviate stressful situations with humor; we are a family that loves to laugh. It's sometimes a little scary when we are all "on a roll" because we feed off each other and deliver one-liners until tears run down our faces. And everyone gets involved: Dad and Mom until the kids are rolling their eyes, Amanda (from afar), Katie (who's got the driest sense of humor, hilarious), Ashley and Emily (goofy girls!), and Dale with his craziness. We use God's gift of laughter to relieve the strain of the burdens we carry. I can't imagine life without laughter, can you? I mean, who'd want to go through life with a straight face or, worse, a woebegone countenance? We all experience sadness, discouragement, hardships, depression, but we don't have to let those emotions rule us. We don't have to live sad, discouraged, hardened, or depressed. That is the choice we make when we dwell on or in those difficult times. Anyone viewing our family's history would believe us deserving of the right to the deepest depression, anger, and bitterness, but those attitudes are counterproductive to our well-being---physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. How can we be ready and willing to do whatever God asks of us if we are so resentful over His last request? How can the Holy Spirit guide us if we are not listening to Him because of our grief and disillusionment? I believe choosing to allay our stress, our anger, our fear with humor is, indeed, a gift God has blessed our family with. I imagine if you look, you'll find special gifts God has given you to help cope with the pressures of daily life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">All this to say, life simply continues for the Ostrander family. We are living and maturing and serving and loving and striving to please God in everything we do. I have previously mentioned my prayer to God before Dale's accident: "Lord, please use our family to bring glory to You." For months after the drowning, I would still pray that prayer, wanting God to know we desired Him to receive all honor and praise from Dale's miraculous recovery. Somehow, in the busyness of life, I stopped praying that. Oh, I still felt that way and remembered once in a while to tell God, but I stopped saying it on a regular basis. Recently, I've gotten back into the habit. "Lord, please use our family to bring glory to You." Not that I want another drowning---goodness, no. Not that I'm asking for some other horrific tragedy to befall us, no. And, not that I think the only way for God to be glorified is through His people's suffering, of course not. I simply want to remind my Heavenly Father (and myself in the process) that my desire is for Him to use us, however He sees fit. This continual surrendering of my will to Him is the only true way to keep from becoming bitter and untrusting. If I believe God's will is always good and I daily submit to God's will, I will never be angry at God's workings because I've already made the decision to trust Him no matter what.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Proverbs 3:5-6 says it perfectly: "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Psalm 28:7 is excellent at explaining too: "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him."</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-90867842409840643592017-05-29T18:28:00.000-07:002017-05-29T18:28:04.954-07:00Take a breath….<span style="font-size: large;">This is it: the moment we've all been waiting for. This is the culmination of years of work, oceans of tears, reams of papers, buckets of sweat…you name it. This day will go down in history as "The Day That Couldn't Happen." Or maybe "The Day The Impossible Happened." How about "The Day That Was Never Supposed to Happen"?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I don't know what to call this day, because calling it what it is seems so anticlimactic. But here goes: Monday, June 5, 2017, is the day my son graduates from high school.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I told you it seemed rather tame. After the opening paragraph, you might have thought we were sending another man to the moon, but no---we're simply celebrating Dale's graduation from Bethel Baptist Christian School. He has completed his high school courses successfully and is ready to march across the platform to accept his diploma. We're very proud of him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you are new to our family's story, let me fill in some background details that might help you understand the title I chose.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Five and a half years ago, my son died.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You read that right. Five and a half years ago, on Friday, August 5, 2011, my son Dale, along with his two older sisters and half the youth group, went on a teen activity. They headed for the coast two hours away to enjoy some sun, water, and general goofiness. Dale was new to the youth group, having just finished sixth grade two months prior. Amanda, our oldest, kept an eye on him, concerned that he would pull some crazy shenanigans (he did that a lot! Still does…). Katie, our second oldest, played with her friends while the chaperones watched over everyone. Throughout the morning and into the afternoon, the group was having a great time. Teens were wading in the water, scouring the beach for driftwood, or just soaking up the sunshine. The day was perfect…until two of our boys got their legs swept out from under them. The undertow quickly carried them out into deeper water than they could handle, and they began to cry out in distress. Two people nearby, a father and his daughter, heard them and responded; the father managed to get the one boy safely back to shore, but the girl, only twelve herself, was struggling to help the other boy, Dale. They tried swimming to shore holding onto her boogie board, but the ocean swamped them. Nicole, that brave young lady, recalls feeling Dale near her, grabbing his belt, and shoving him up towards the surface. When they broke through, gasping for air, she told Dale to swim for shore with all his might. Glancing back, she saw him right behind her. But when she reached the beach, moments later, he was gone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Frantic calls began flooding the emergency lines, reporting the incident. Rescue personnel went into action: police headed out to the beach, ambulance drivers raced toward the scene, the volunteer water rescue team started suiting up. A photographer overheard the calls on the police band and followed the line of vehicles out to the water. I'm so glad he did because he sent us every picture he took that day, from the time he arrived to the time Dale was pulled from the water…over twenty minutes later. Paramedics worked on Dale's lifeless body right there on the beach, giving him CPR and even using the paddles to try to restart his heart. Remember: the youth group is right there, watching everything with horrified, disbelieving faces. Our teens were the first responders: they knelt on the sand, some of them face down, prostrate, and begged God that Dale be found and then that he'd regain life. Our daughters were there when the panicked call went out to clear the water because Dale was missing; they were there when their brother's body was carried ashore, arms dangling. They were there when he was strapped to a stretcher and loaded in an ambulance to be taken to the hospital. The scars they carry to this day are emotional and deep…</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have never been so proud of my family as I was that tragic day. My husband's first words when informed of the accident were "We need to pray." Once the girls arrived at the hospital, before they even got to go back to Dale's room, Chad told them and me, "No matter what happens now, God will receive the glory." Mind you, we all thought Dale was dead. The paramedics had managed to restart his heart, but Dale wasn't breathing on his own, and the doctors were kind but offered no hope whatsoever. We were warned that Dale's body might simply give up and shut down completely; we were told that, even if he regained consciousness, he might be in a vegetative state or unable to walk, feed himself, might need to wear a diaper, might not be able to talk. Dale had simply been underwater, without oxygen, without pumping blood, for too long. My girls stood at Dale's bedside and sang praises to our God. I had long prayed that God would use our family to bring honor and glory to Himself. None of us had any idea what He was about to do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Two days later, Sunday, August 7, 2011, a meeting with the doctor indicated we should prepare for the worst. Up to this point, Dale had exhibited no signs that his brain was still functioning. The machines were breathing for him; there had been no response to stimuli; the doctor had taken Chad and me aside and told us that they had done all they could. Chad begged him, "Give God a chance." That night, Chad asked a doctor to demonstrate what Dale should be responding to. The doctor leaned over and barked in Dale's ear, "DALE, WAKE UP!" To our shock, Dale's eyes flew open, startling even the doctor. The room immediately filled with people, all working to give Dale this fighting chance. What they didn't realize was that God, now that the doctors had stepped aside, was flexing His muscles, about to show the entire world just what He could do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale began to improve from that moment on. He began breathing regularly on his own; he began responding to verbal commands as well as physical stimuli; when they took the ventilator tube out the next day and encouraged Dale to cough to clear his lungs, Dale shocked everyone again by saying, "I don't NEED to!" We spent a couple of weeks at that hospital, while Dale relearned how to walk and breathe properly and all. Then we transferred to another hospital closer to home, spending the next several weeks there, allowing Dale to relearn how to swallow, how to eat, how to brush his teeth, how to talk, everything. God's hands were so evident, holding our son, soothing our fears, calming my stress. I'm deliberately glossing over those first weeks; it's still an emotional topic for our family and me, as the storyteller. The next year is a blur for Dale: we went to physical therapy twice a week and speech therapy once a week. We assisted Dale as if he were a toddler, though he turned thirteen before the first anniversary of the accident came around. He changed from a young boy into a young man during that time; his voice dropped from its high pitch to a much lower one---he had trouble singing because he couldn't adjust to his different voice very well!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">He lost a full year from his life, has only fuzzy recollections of those months, doesn't remember his therapists though he spent so much time with them. He lost a year of schooling, plus a large portion of the next school year, struggling to figure out how to learn again, how to process information and repeat it on a test. One of our teachers pointed out recently, "Dale has worked harder toward his graduation than most graduates. He took six years of high school and crammed them into five." Four and a half, actually. To say he's struggled academically would be to say the sun is a little warm. Dale has had to put at least three times as much work, time, and brain power into his studies as the average student does; school work that should take between twenty to forty-five minutes has taken Dale up to two days to complete. Our school with its wonderful teachers and principals has worked with us nonstop to assist Dale in every way he needs, focusing on an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for him and eliminating extra requirements. As I'm writing this, Dale is downstairs, working on his last English PACE. He's going to walk across the platform Monday night, June 5, 2017, having actually completed his high school education. He's not being handed a participation award; he's not being given an obligatory piece of paper so he doesn't feel left out; he's graduating. Nothing short of amazing describes this accomplishment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please realize that none, I repeat, none of this would have been possible without the Almighty's power. God chose to give Dale life when Dale was supposed to die. That is my belief. Dale's life was supposed to end that day at the beach, but God heard His people's prayers and changed His mind, giving the world a chance to see Him in action. In the weeks following Dale's miraculous recovery, we received an enormous amount of mail from every corner of the world. We opened letters and packages from nearly every state, numerous countries, and several continents, not to mention the emails and Facebook messages. This accident, this tragedy, this horrifying incident was used by God to show that He listens and that He has power the wisest doctors do not. I am not downplaying the tremendous effort those doctors put forth on behalf of my son; their knowledge, support, and caring were more than we could have wished for. I am saying that, when the doctors said they could do no more, that's when God allowed Dale to wake up, to begin to live again. He chose to give us back our son, and we will never stop thanking Him and praising Him for His goodness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale continues to struggle each day with various skills. He has difficulty walking, especially using stairs; he is very unsteady on surfaces that are not level (like gravel, thick carpet, changing from one flooring to another); he speaks more slowly; sometimes his brain literally gets tired and he can't think any more; he must have assistance to walk anywhere; his limbs jerk without warning; writing takes time and effort. I could continue the list, but I don't want to focus on the negatives. Dale can brush his teeth, use the restroom, and dress himself; he can read and understand; he's still crazy and goofy; he's worked through anger at God and is now more accepting of his abilities and limitations; he is still stubborn and will argue with a signpost. He's still…Dale. God, in His infinite graciousness, not only brought our son back to life but gave him back his life. Oh, not the one Dale had planned out, not the one we parents dreamed of our son living in the hazy future, but a special life that only God Himself could have imagined. God allowed Dale to live when he should have died, and now Dale is set to graduate high school.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">What Dale's future actually holds is unclear still. Dale still has desires and goals, and we're working toward making those a reality. We have looked into various opportunities and courses for disabled individuals; we have begun the lengthy process of having Dale declared disabled so that he can receive assistance that will enable him to pursue whatever he desires, whatever God desires. For us, it's best not to dwell on what might have been---we don't do well when we start thinking about all that we used to wish for. Not that we haven't talked about Dale's former dreams and goals, but we know too many walks down memory lane lead to anger and depression, which is counter-productive to moving forward. God understands when we cry out in confusion and pain over the "used-to-coulds," but I believe we bless the Father's heart when we follow those cries with words of acceptance and gratitude for all He has done. If you don't know our family personally, you might think that we're holier-than-thou people who float through life with our heads in the clouds. Trust me---nothing is further from the truth! We're an ordinary family, full of regular human beings, who faced one of life's greatest tragedies and are even now living in the aftermath of that event. We feel the pain, the anger, the disillusionment, the fear, the abandonment, the "we were serving You, Lord; why did You let this happen?" We simply chose---and still choose---to trust. We. Trust. God. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. It's not easy and it's not pretty, but it's the life God gave us, and we're going to trust His plan…and live it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, kudos to all those graduating high school this year. It took a lot of work and time, but you've earned it. Congratulations also to all the parents and grandparents who've worked so hard to get your graduate to this point. Goodness knows, we need a vacation after the last twelve years! Maybe a refreshing week in a mental ward….</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">To everyone who has read this blog, especially those who have been following Dale's story since the accident; to all the wonderful folks who have prayed for our family; to the generous individuals who have blessed us with food, clothing, finances, and more; to the newcomers who are just realizing that the young man we're talking about is "that boy who drowned" whose image is forever frozen in our minds because of the heart-wrenching picture that headlined news accounts of the accident; to our God, Who is faithful and kind and all-wise and forever; to you we say, "Thank you." You have touched our lives in ways we can never fully explain without choking on tears. You have blessed our hearts with your love and prayers. You have brought our son and our family before the throne so often that God's attention is always on us. You have been so encouraging with your words and caring questions and love. It's been a journey, hasn't it? One we would never have chosen to embark on, but one that has changed our lives and enriched our lives in ways we could never have imagined. And it's not over---I'm not shutting down the blog just because Dale is graduating. Life doesn't end after graduation. Just as life doesn't end after death…. Please, if you have never thought about where your soul will spend eternity after this life is over, please read the section of this blog entitled "Something Dale Would Like You to Know." Talk to someone about God's desire for you to spend eternity in heaven with Him. Please don't let another moment pass without settling this all-important matter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We all want to see God's hand in our lives. We all would love to feel His presence working with us through our hardships. We all desire a demonstration of God's might and power. Our family knows God is still in the miracle-working business. We see one every time we look into Dale's eyes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've decided what to title this post: "The Day Only God Knew Was Possible."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Mark 10: 27 "And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Luke 15: 24 "For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found."</span></div>
Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-76429818078079656022017-02-20T12:49:00.000-08:002017-02-20T12:49:09.680-08:00Life can be unexpected….<span style="font-size: large;">Who was it that said, "The more I try to do, the more I fall behind"? This describes my life perfectly. I keep telling myself to stop volunteering for activities and functions---and I've succeeded to some degree---but then life decides to add twists and turns to my days, and that's when things get absolutely chaotic….</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Take, for instance, the month of January. New year, new beginnings, fresh start to life, right? Not so much for the Ostrander family. Over the Christmas holidays, my second youngest, Ashley, was sick with what was probably the flu. She had a slight fever, vomiting, and a burning sensation in her stomach that finally went away after about a week. Her appetite took a little longer to return, which meant poor Ashley was feeling ill for most of her school vacation. Fast forward to Thursday, January 5. My second oldest, Katie, began feeling a similar pain in her stomach, accompanied by fever and nausea. She was ill clear through Sunday, January 8, when she spent the day vomiting. By that night, she was asking to go to the ER, but Chad and I both said that would be extreme. After all, she'd not been vomiting even 24 hours; they'd tell us it was just the flu and to drink fluids. Monday seemed to bring some relief: no more vomiting, although the abdominal pain was still there, presenting itself in waves. I'd spent the weekend on Google attempting to pinpoint exactly what Katie's symptoms indicated---intestinal virus, appendicitis, female problems---and could only conclude that she'd picked up whatever flu bug Ashley had had earlier. We honestly thought she'd continue to improve and would eventually feel better. Boy, was I wrong!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Katie's pain persisted throughout that week. She was upset about that for multiple reasons: (1) she didn't feel at all well; (2) she could only eat bland foods in an attempt to pacify her stomach; and (3) she had told me she had an important job interview on Saturday morning, January 14, that she simply couldn't miss. Chad and I encouraged her to keep her basic schedule, getting some housework done during the day and going to her cleaning job at night. That makes us sound like bad parents, I know, but our philosophy is the world doesn't stop just because you don't feel well. Hindsight, however, tells just how off we were! Her appetite was greatly diminished, and she just didn't seem to be getting any better, despite eating a bland diet and drinking as much water as she could handle. Friday, January 13, I tried to get her in to see her doctor, only to find out that it had been so long since we'd seen the doctor that we were no longer considered current patients. Blessing in disguise? I started the request process to be accepted back as patients and decided to just take Katie to Urgent Care.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">That place was packed!!! So much flu going around, so many ill people---I was scared to breathe. Katie had to wear a mask, since we thought she had the flu; her skin reacted, causing a slight rash on her face. We finally got called back to an exam room where the nurse took her vitals and registered the information in the computer. The doctor took another ten minutes to come in, but that was to be expected with the overflowing waiting room. When she entered, she asked us to explain again Katie's various symptoms and how long they'd been persisting. Then the big moment came. The doctor asked Katie to lie back on the table so she could examine her abdomen…..and Katie couldn't do it. Her stomach/abdomen had been hurting so much that it was easier to stay in a semi-hunched position; thus, it simply hurt too much to try to lie back and stretch her abdomen out fully. The doctor took all this in with one glance and stepped back. "I think there's something bigger going on here than I can treat, and you need to go the ER," she said. Katie began crying. "No, Mom, I can't be sick! I can't go the ER!" I assured her that she'd be fine once we got things figured out and not to worry about the job interview because she could explain once she got better. That was when the big news broke: "Mom, I don't have an interview. I have to go to the airport!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The airport could only mean one thing: Amanda, my oldest, was coming for a visit! A surprise visit, that I wasn't supposed to know about. My husband and two oldest girls had cooked this up as a special surprise for me, since Mandie hadn't been able to come home for Christmas. This was the super important "interview" that Katie couldn't miss. Now I started crying! The poor doctor just stood there, completely in the dark as to what was going on. I managed to calm Katie down somewhat, explain to the doctor in a few sentences what was happening, and gather the paperwork we needed to head for the ER. Next step of our journey:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Once at the ER, we signed in and began the wait to be seen. They took us back for a few minutes to check Katie's vitals and such, but it was an hour and a half before we were taken to an exam room. Short for the ER but still interminable when you're in pain. The doctor came in to see Katie; this time, when asked to lie back, she was able to do it. The doctor pressed on her abdomen in different places and decided to do a CT scan, since he believed she had a kidney stone. This was something I hadn't considered, but he seemed to think it was so. Once the scan was complete, we began the next waiting period; by now Katie was just wanting to figure things out and go home. The intake nurse had set an IV port which was already causing trouble, Katie was exhausted from pain and illness, and she was still feeling terrible for letting out the secret of Amanda's visit. Suddenly the exam room curtain whipped back. The doctor entered and as suddenly closed the curtain behind him, ensuring complete privacy. Katie and I glanced fearfully at each other; this was not the expected "here's your diagnosis and prescription." He abruptly said, "So tell me more about when you were sick last week." We recounted the details of her illness, starting with Thursday and going through the vomiting on Sunday and the persistent pain up to the present. He said, "Well, it's not a kidney stone. You have a perforated appendix."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">What??!!! I'd checked appendicitis symptoms, and hers didn't fit the description. I gasped at his announcement, but poor Katie didn't realize what he meant. Turns out, her appendix had apparently ruptured sometime Sunday (when she wanted to go to the ER, go figure!), but her body had walled off the area, preventing her from going into septic shock. After the doctor vindicated me by saying her appendicitis didn't present with the normal symptoms, we were informed that Katie would not be leaving that hospital until she had had an appendectomy. Thus began our six-day stay in the hospital. I called Chad, waking him up about an hour before he had to go to work, and told him what was going on. He called his supervisor (Miss June is a saint!) and was able to get someone to cover his shift so that he could (a) come to the hospital to see Katie and (b) pick up Mandie from the airport. Ashley was now left holding down the fort at home while Katie and I prepared to spend some unexpected time together in the surgical ward.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Her appendectomy took place mid-Saturday morning, but her recovery would take much, much longer. Because her appendix had ruptured nearly a week earlier, her intestinal tract/abdomen was a complete mess. The doctor was able to clean everything out, but he had to use gas to inflate her abdomen so there would be no chance of nicking something unintentionally; he also had to insert a drain to allow excess fluids to be drained off. We had been warned that the best way to get rid of the surgical gas is to walk around, but this was incredibly painful for my girl. She did it, though; Katie is a definite trooper! However, the next several days were horrible: she was in a tremendous amount of pain from the surgery, the trapped gas pockets were highly uncomfortable, she had zero appetite, and her intestinal tract was nonfunctioning. The doctors seemed to think everything was progressing normally, and once her digestive tract picked up again and her white blood count came down, they released her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thankfully, during this time, Amanda had become the "mother" at home, making sure the kids got to/from school, fixing meals and lunches, and reminding about homework. We had Monday, January 16, off school, and Chad had already arranged for someone to sub for me on Tuesday and Wednesday so that I could spend time with Mandie---which turned into spending time with Katie, who needed a sympathetic someone with her constantly. Chad did take a shift at her bedside so that Mandie and I could go to the mall for some fun time. Katie spent half her time apologizing from her hospital bed for ruining the special plans they'd made and the other half groaning in pain. Even after we got her home, she was in constant pain and struggling to take the monstrous antibiotics they'd sent her home with. We kept hoping she'd eventually turn a corner and begin to feel better, but that was yet to happen….</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Five days later, on Tuesday afternoon, January 24, I got Katie in to be seen by one of the doctors in the surgical practice. I just felt that she wasn't improving like she should have been---a suspicion confirmed by the doctor's suggestion that we go back to the ER. We spent four hours waiting to be seen there, having checked in and had a second CT scan done. Finally, we received the news: Katie had developed abscesses in her abdomen from the surgery. The doctors weren't sure if these abscesses were filled with just extra fluids or filled with pus, but they readmitted her because she needed IV fluids and antibiotics. The ER was so full, we were put in a bed in the hallway! We were told we would probably stay there all night before a bed would open up in the morning, but we thank God that we received a bed in the newly-opened post-op waiting room---and this bed was in a private room! The rest of the patients were in beds separated by curtains, but we got a room with a door and a bathroom!!! Turns out that door was necessary because Katie had also developed an intestinal infection that was highly contagious. We were only in the hospital two days this time around, long enough for them to determine (1) they couldn't drain the abscesses without causing more damage, (2) the abscesses weren't filled with infection, just fluids, and (3) she had developed an allergic reaction to the original antibiotics. This time when they released Katie, she had new antibiotics to take and I had specific instructions to scrub the house with bleach to prevent anyone else from getting the intestinal infection. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The good news is that this time, there was definite improvement! Katie began having less pain and so needed less pain medication; she actually had to coat the antibiotics with butter to get them to slide down her throat (!); and she began to feel hungry. Her final check-up with the surgeon a week later revealed some interesting facts: the antibiotics were causing the nasty taste in her mouth which was in turn making everything taste horrible (that would clear up once she finished the meds), so her appetite would soon return; the sharp pain she still felt when bending over was caused by the still-healing drain site which had had to punch through muscle (as opposed to the laparoscopic site which avoided major organs and muscles); and she had apparently looked "like death warmed over" the week prior when she had had to be readmitted! He gave her permission to return to work on a lighter schedule at first, then more as she felt able. She still deals with occasional trapped gas, and she frequently feels exhausted after some activity that would normally just leave her tired. But she's healed very well and is able to resume her normal life activities, and we thank God so much for that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">His hand was very apparent in all of this, and anyone who cannot see that is simply not looking. Her appendix rupturing, her body closing off that area to prevent sepsis, her doctor not able to see her so the need to go to Urgent Care, the dreaded diagnosis, Amanda's timely arrival to help with the house and kids, the two hospital stays, the sub who so willingly filled in for me in my classes, the private room for her second hospital visit, the medication that she thought she'd choke on but that did the trick, the explanation for the extended loss of appetite---everything shows us that God is in control and He knows exactly what is going on, even when we don't. There are always going to be problems in life and situations we don't understand. There are always going to be difficulties and struggles and hardships. There are always going to be unexpected bills to pay and uncertain futures and unanswered questions to face. The one thing we can know to be certain, settled, and definite is God. His presence, His omniscience, His care, and His love are always there. Sometimes in the middle of our crazy, stressed, pull-our-hair-out chaos, we lose grasp of the fact that He's always there with us, right in the middle of the seemingly never-ending storm. But He is. When we choose to place our faith in God, we are choosing to align ourselves with Him and, what's more, let Him have control. It's like we're walking with God through a hurricane. When we step out from behind His protection and face the storm on our own, we're forcibly struck with the realization that we cannot handle the intensity of the swirling destruction by our own power; we need His hand to shield us from the worst of the storm's wrath. Oh, we'll still get wet; we'll still get buffeted with strong winds; we may even lose our homes or our health or sometimes our friends and family. But---and this is key---how much greater would our loss be if we hadn't let Him lead? If we hadn't given Him control? If we hadn't yielded to His protection and endured the storm with Him by our side? I'd much rather face life's storms letting God be my Guide than get angry with His decisions or question His choices and try to strike out on my own. After all….</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Romans 8: 31-32 "What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?"</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-43783299114224305112016-12-02T17:51:00.001-08:002016-12-02T17:51:31.239-08:00Time is not our friend.<span style="font-size: large;">Where in the world has the time gone? I beginning to realize that, once we reach a certain age, time speeds up so that each year races past faster than the previous one. Doesn't it feel like we just made our New Year's resolutions and then decorated for Valentine's Day? Wasn't Fourth of July, like, last week with all the brilliant fireworks accompanied by a large stomachache from overeating hot dogs and baked beans? It seriously feels like I'm finally settling in to this new school year....and now we're twenty-three days away from Christmas??? If anybody out there is debating whether or not a time machine is really that good an idea, I say, "YES! PLEASE invent one! Quick!!!" :-)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">To be completely honest, I feel like time has not only sped up but is slipping away from me. My children are no longer babies; my husband has more gray hair than when I married him (he grayed early); even my dog is starting to show signs of age. I, of course, am as fresh as a daisy....lol. I've seen so many changes, both good and bad, over this past year that it's both precious and painful to recall the months past. The very fact that time rushes by and brings with it change is one reason I am so glad that God is constant. He never changes: I never have to wonder what kind of mood He's in or whether He'll be too busy to listen when I need to talk---like I am with my family sometimes. He always <strong><em><u>is</u></em></strong>, an attribute I've come to appreciate more since I started teaching high school English. God calls Himself "I Am"; this is stated in present tense, the here-and-now. God always <strong><em><u>is</u></em></strong> because His condition never changes; He never ages; He is the same now as He was when He walked in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. He will continue to be the same for eternity. This brings such comfort to me, one who doesn't enjoy change or uncertainty. I can rest in His Word and believe Him because He is constant; I can trust Him because He will never be any different. Ever. What an indescribably beautiful truth! I'm almost in tears just thinking about this. Thank You, Lord, for being You.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">An update about Senior Trip: Bro. Goltiao, the class sponsor, and the seniors have cooked up a wonderful idea for us! They decided that they wanted either my husband or me to go on Senior Trip with Dale. This would solve a couple of issues: who would be in the hotel room with Dale to assist him with everyday life and who would be the one to sit out of the too-crazy rides with him. A few different ideas were batted around as to how to pay for Chad or me to go on the trip, and then Bro. Goltiao had the idea. He talked to Preacher, then talked to the seniors, then talked to Preacher again. Final decision: Chad's ticket is fully paid for through Preacher's generosity, and the seniors are raising extra money to pay my way too!!! Isn't that amazing? I almost hugged Bro. Goltiao when he told me! Ha! So we are all working hard with every fundraiser that comes along to raise the extra money needed. Dale is able to help out, and Chad, Katie, and I have all been steadily involved in helping make this dream come true. We're so blessed by Preacher's and the seniors' love and generosity....and we're going to Disneyworld!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Do you remember I mentioned back in September that come Christmas I would need to scour those papers given to me at the neurologist's office concerning Dale' future as an adult? Well, that time is almost upon me, and I'm starting to get uncomfortable flutters in my stomach whenever I think about it. I realize time marches on (see top of post!), but I kind of wish things would simply stay this way forever so I would never have to think about possible futures. I'm asking for a little extra prayer---I realize y'all have been praying for our family since August 5, 2011, and possibly before---but I truly need God's wisdom as I approach the reading of those all-important documents that will give us a glimpse into possibilities for Dale. He will officially become an adult on January 6, 2017 (his birthday), and momentous choices must be made shortly thereafter. So, please pray with us that God's voice will be heard and we humans will be listening.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Let's all make the special effort to bring God's cheer and God's light to those around us this wonderful time of year. We Christians are God's presence to the world, so let's be sure we represent Him well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Matthew 5: 16 "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven."</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-30827790745836054202016-09-17T11:09:00.001-07:002016-09-17T11:09:43.007-07:00This is it---Dale's senior year!<span style="font-size: large;">Wow! It's so hard to believe that Dale is a senior in high school this year! It seems like just yesterday he was a toddler in the nursery while I taught my first year of school, and now he's finishing his high school courses and preparing to graduate. How time does fly!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is a big year of changes and new horizons for all of us. On August 23rd, we saw Dale's pediatric neurologist for the last time. (Sniff, sniff.) This is the same man who came to see Dale when he was in Good Samaritan Rehab about three weeks after his accident. Dale had spent about 2 1/2 weeks at OHSU in Oregon, slowly making progress after the drowning. He was transferred to Good Sam where he would undergo extensive therapy to try to establish how badly injured his brain was and how much of his natural abilities he would be able to regain. We had only been there a couple of days when Dale had a full grand mal seizure, scaring the physical therapist and me half to death! We were on a cement staircase outside in the garden, and I was so thankful that she had already had a solid grip on the therapy belt Dale was wearing (worn for that specific purpose), for that was the only thing that kept my son from tumbling down the stairs and sustaining further injury. Dr. Al-Mateen was called in to assess Dale's neurological status, and our relationship with him was born. He is the kindest man, very wise and respected in his field, always ready to listen to the ramblings of this mama when trying to explain Dale's symptoms (or jokes!). We've had the privilege of seeing Dr. Al-Mateen twice a year or so for the last five years, and it was incredibly difficult to say goodbye without crying. I feel like we're losing a member of the family, one whom I could trust with the details of my son's condition. But, since Dale will have turned eighteen by the time of the next six-month appointment, he can no longer see a pediatric neurologist; instead we were given a referral to an adult neurologist whom Dr. Al-Mateen works with to transition his patients to when they become adults. Another door closed….</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Before we left the doctor's office, I was able to meet with a sweet, helpful lady whose job it is to answer all the myriad questions exploding in my brain---like "Does Dale qualify for some sort of disability that might help him take college classes online?" or "How do we know what paperwork to fill out?" She gave me a healthy sheaf of papers to read through which should help us when Dale turns eighteen. We can't actually do anything until then, so I'm already planning on taking some time over Christmas break and getting ready to send in whatever forms are appropriate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please pray with us for Dale's future. We honestly don't know what is going to happen, and there are so many unanswered questions right now. I'm not one of those "go with the flow" people; I like order and answers and preparation. This time of waiting is seriously causing me (and, thus, my family) stress, but it's also pushing me to my knees. I need God's mindset and timing, but most of all I just need to trust. Never easy to do but always the right idea! So much remains up in the air, including any possible future online classes for Dale, job opportunities for him, my job situation, and so on. Just pray that I, especially, will be willing to do what God wants when He says, not fight for what I think is best when He may have something better in store.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale's senior year started off with a bang. Dale's neurology appointment was the same morning as the start of Teacher Orientation for this new school year. Naturally, I could not be in two places at once, so I missed that morning's talk. Chad and the two youngest girls, Ashley and Emily, left to go camping for a few days that afternoon, leaving the house strangely quiet….and clean. Dale and I wound up staying until 8:00 that night at school, trying to get some work accomplished. The following morning, Wednesday, Dale and I were getting ready to head for school for the next Teacher Orientation session. Dale had not had to get up too early on Wednesday because my meeting didn't start until 9:00, which was a blessing since he had had to get up at 6:45 the previous morning to get to his doctor appointment! He seemed to be a bit unsteady on the stairs going down to breakfast, and when he reached the dining room, things absolutely fell apart. Instead of turning and sitting on the chair, his foot caught and he landed awkwardly sideways on the chair. His bottom was almost sliding off the chair, and his head was jammed up against the table. I was trying to steady him, keep his head from hitting the table, and prevent him from sliding off the chair onto the floor when it happened---the dreaded seizure. His brain couldn't handle the overload of panicked messages it was being flooded with, and it couldn't correct the problems, so it just shut down for a moment. I had hold of Dale the whole time, but I shouted for Katie to come stand behind him, since I was really scared I couldn't keep him on the chair. This seizure wasn't any longer than the others, but it was frustrating for Dale since we had just been able to tell the neurologist the day before that he hadn't had any seizures for a long while! Anyway, once the seizure released its hold, I was able to brace Dale better in his chair and wait for his senses to return.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Any time Dale has a seizure, he loses all abilities and is virtually paralyzed for a time until feeling returns. His involuntary functions work steadily (lungs, heart), but he can't move his limbs, he can't see, he can't do anything except cry. Having a seizure is scary, and Dale gets so upset about having to go through another one that he spend a few minutes crying at the top of his lungs in fear and frustration. Imagine how you would react, knowing all control was being forcibly wrested from you, plus not knowing what you might not get back.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So Dale's senior year (actually the week before school started) got off to a rough start. Yesterday, also, Dale struggled in the morning. He fell twice in the bathroom within a five-minute time period. After the second fall, he just lay on the bathroom rug and had a short pity party---and I let him. Everyone needs a feel-sorry-for-me time, even if just to get it out of their system. I made the decision to slow things down, not continue the rush to get out the door to school, for Dale's sake. He already knows that our family arranges our schedules, activities, and lives around him, for necessity's sake; this time, he needed to know that we do it because we love him and want what's best for him. We took it easy getting down the stairs and made sure he got a good breakfast before actually heading for school. The rest of the day was easier, since we had a home Football Jamboree, and the seniors (Dale included) got to man the concession stand all day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm so excited about this next announcement! We are currently working out the details/arrangements so that Dale will get to go on his senior trip!!! Chad and I didn't think this was possible until Preacher approached Chad and said he didn't think it was any great difficulty. He referenced another disabled student who had been able to go on his own senior trip; this other student simply needed help getting into and out of cars and such, but the chaperones and other students made it happen. So, we talked to Dale and the chaperones for this year, and we're working toward the goal of Dale getting to go. I'm so excited for Dale!!! He's concerned that he will not be able to raise the kind of money it will take to go (because they've chosen Disneyworld as their destination), but he's working every concession booth he can to raise money, and he's going to participate in as many fundraisers as possible. Praise the Lord!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Since this is Dale's senior year---and, as such, a major turning point in his life, I want to make this year as great as possible for him. He already put lots of effort into making this year easier for himself academically by working so hard during summer school to get caught up so that he has started this year a full senior. He's no longer making up lost time in English or any subject, just working toward passing the subjects he needs to graduate in June. This meant he worked for several hours a day, five days a week, clear through the end of July, to get caught up. His PACEs this year include Bible, English, Business Math, Health (1 semester), and Government/Economics. He also takes choir in place of Bible one day a week, and he'll get to take Yearbook next semester once his health PACEs are complete, plus he gets to sit in the Government/Economics class hour with his fellow seniors. I'm thankful he gets to be in at least one class hour with his classmates. I think Dale's mind is still in catch-up mode because, at the pace he has set for himself and as hard as he is already working, it seems like Dale is going to be finished with his PACEs in March!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, as you can tell, our lives are just about as busy as always. It's amazing how much that one day five years ago has affected our lives, and yet time didn't stop for us. God's plan is not to get frozen in one instance or one situation, but to keep moving forward and keep growing and learning and adapting to life. We were just discussing this in the car on the way (finally) to school yesterday morning: This world is not our home. Everything we experience in this life, whether good or bad, is only temporary. Those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Saviour have an eternal home waiting for us which will make this earthly time seem so unimportant. This is all we know for now, but God tells us to be patient, keep trusting, and tell as many others as possible about His Son, because one day, hopefully soon, we're going Home. The joys, the trials, the failures, the achievements of our time here on earth will pale with one glimpse of our Redeemer. So we keep living, we keep striving, we keep going, so that one day our Lord will be able to say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." Treasured words, those. God bless each of you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">II Corinthians 4: 16-18 "For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-44002724557649011842016-07-10T08:25:00.000-07:002016-07-10T08:25:47.851-07:00Hello, world!<span style="font-size: large;">The Ostrander family has been taking a break from life for a while, and that is the reason I haven't posted for over two months. Frankly, finishing up the last of the school year, planning ahead for next year, and enjoying the beginning of summer have taken up all our time! You busy parents know exactly what I mean…..</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For our family, wrapping up the school year means panicking about grades, typing out research papers (at the last minute), and trying to find enough school clothes that still fit to make one complete uniform per child---which they will then wear for the last month straight! Why is that children have two major growth spurts each year: one right after you bought school clothes for the new year and one about a month before school ends? It's as if they do it on purpose…..</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then, there's the all-important, academically-mandatory, pull-your-hair-out research paper in high school. You know, the one where the student doesn't do any research except for finding two internet articles; writes two-page, double-spaced drafts, thinking that is more than enough material for an eight hundred-word essay; "forgets" when the deadlines (which are posted beside the classroom door) are; and puts off typing out the actual paper until the night before the final project is due. Technically, I only had one child at home who needed to do a research paper this year; however, multiply that stress by about fifty, since I am the new high school English teacher. I get to push and remind and beg and plead to get those projects in---and then I get to grade them. No wonder I needed a mental vacation!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The "planning ahead" part was focused mostly on Dale and figuring out to a "T" exactly what he needed to take for summer school and next school year in order to graduate with his class. Just the fact that he is alive is a miracle; add to that all the hard work he, his therapists, and his teachers have had to put in to get him this far, and the miracle swells to the point of taking over all emotion and sensible thought. Our God not only brought Dale back to life that day almost five years ago, but He has also given Dale hope for the future. It's still not clear what Dale will be able to do after graduation, but he's alive to do it. We're looking into college courses he can do online as well as adult therapy programs he might qualify for. Our focus right now is helping him finish his 11th grade English PACES; then he gets to take an actual break from school work until the fall.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Each year, when planning ahead for the next, I tell Dale, "I hope this next year won't be too hard or too busy for you." Each year, reality has fallen way short of our hopes and expectations. Dale basically missed his 7th grade year (he was doing speech, occupational, and physical therapy). He was able to sit in on his 8th grade classes, but he couldn't absorb much or take notes or perform well on tests. At the start of his 9th grade year, we put him in traditional classes but also began having him do PACEs; this was an excellent idea since it allowed him to work at his own, new, slow-but-steady pace. The only drawback was that it took Dale out of regular classes which meant he had less time to socialize with his friends. His accident and subsequent difficulties had already put a bit of a gap between him and his classmates, and not being in class with them widened that gap. Dale's 10th and 11th grade years were his hardest. He (and his teachers!) worked so hard to catch up on missed credits, switching to PACEs almost fully in order to give Dale his best chance possible. If there were a percentage grade given for effort, Dale would have scored a 100%. Dale needs to take Bible, English, Government and Economics, Health (1 semester), Yearbook (1 semester), and Business Math next year. He has finally reached his senior year!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Being in the high school this past year has afforded me the chance to see how the students interact with Dale. My girls have always given good reports, but this mama bear is always worried that someone will make fun of Dale's condition or consider helping him to the next class to be a burden. It's been such a blessing to watch the guys consistently offer to walk Dale over to the Learning Center for PACE class or across the gym to choir or Spanish. The girls have pitched in as well, carrying Dale's backpack to his next class---and his backpack is no featherweight item! I try to tell the teens just how much seeing their casual, accepting, "this is normal," Christ-like attitude towards Dale means to me, but I can never get out more than three words without tears coming to my eyes. Even now, at my computer, my vision is blurred, thinking about each one of their loving kindnesses for my son. And to observe Dale's class with him; they treat him as one of them, as if there is no difference between him and them. I guess I thought they would treat Dale distantly---you know, acting like they wished he weren't part of their world or wasn't on the same plane with them. But I've never seen that at all. His senior classmates have included Dale just as much as possible in their conversations and activities and always seem to look for ways to make him feel a part of the group. Such precious young people! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Looking ahead for each of my girls for school is a far easier matter. I just look to see what books I may already have from past years and check off those items on the book order form. Boom! Done. Trust me, I've put enough blood, sweat, and tears into Dale's curriculum to have earned some relief when it comes to everybody else's.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now we are in the serious business of summer break. Those of you who know me know that I take relaxing seriously. I mean, why have a break from the insanity and pressure of school if all you're going to do is go crazy cleaning, organizing, or sightseeing? Am I right? So far our summer vacation has been comprised of sleeping in, getting caught up on favorite TV series, occasional laundry, meals whenever, and staying up half the night. Perfection!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm only half kidding. We've been a few places and done a few things. Chad drove us out to the outlet stores at North Bend with a side trip to Snoqualmie Falls. There is the most fascinating collection of antique train engines there! Two of the girls swapped bedrooms which required endless trips up and down the stairs with armfuls of whatever. While cleaning out her room for the move, Ashley decided to bequeath to Emily a lot of her old clothes; this has given Emily a new, more mature wardrobe (sniff, sniff). This has also given Ashley reason to demand more clothes! Emily turned ten years old in June which meant she got to have a real birthday party with friends and cake and presents and craziness. All of our children are in double digits now. I feel old….</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We didn't do much for Independence Day, and by "much" I mean "nothing at all." Chad had to work Sunday night-Monday morning; he got home Monday afternoon, just in time to grill some hamburgers, eat, and go to bed because he had to work Monday night-Tuesday morning as well. We don't usually buy firecrackers ourselves, preferring to let our neighboring communities display their fireworks for our enjoyment! Plus, Emily has always been terrified of the loud noises and flashes. This year, for the first time, she managed to go the whole night of the Fourth (plus the extra days on either side) without crying. She was still unsettled by the noise but was able to distract herself with drawing and TV.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I know this post has been long, but it serves to show that life continues as it always has for us: steady, busy, happy, crazy. When I say that we took a break, it wasn't from life itself; we still attended every service, still worked our bus route, still helped out with various functions, still played---we simply chose not to put any new thing on our plates for a while. This kind of break is important for any family, and we intend to take full advantage of this opportunity to slow down for a bit. Goodness knows, in just about six weeks, school gears will need to start grinding again!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">God bless you all for your love, prayers, and support. Take time to hug your children and deliberately plan some unstructured family time to just enjoy being together.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Isaiah 12: 2-4 "Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; He also is become my salvation. Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation. And in that day shall ye say, Praise the LORD, call upon His name, declare His doings among the people, make mention that His name is exalted."</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-89403332476695796162016-04-28T12:54:00.000-07:002016-04-28T12:54:22.556-07:00What a great God we serve!<span style="font-size: large;">Our church just wrapped up our third annual Youth Explosion last night, and, boy, was it amazing! Watching the teens listen closely to the speaker's words, hearing the singing, seeing the excitement when someone's name was announced for a prize---the extra effort put in was entirely worth it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our teens handed out flyers last Friday and again this Monday - Wednesday at various public middle and high schools in our area, inviting any teens who wanted to come to be a part of this year's Youth Explosion. This meant that we teachers had to scramble to get some classes taught in the morning; our day was then basically over, giving us a chance to catch up on paperwork. But the teens weren't done yet! They ate lunch, held a prayer meeting, loaded the buses to hand out flyers, came back by the end of the school day, ate a quick dinner, loaded the buses again to pick up the other teenagers who wanted to come, attended the (crazy, loud, exciting) service, grabbed a sack lunch, reloaded the buses to take the kids home, and finally got to go home themselves. I helped in the nursery Monday and Tuesday nights, but my husband and I got to attend last night's service and see God moving in the hearts of those teenagers, public and Christian school alike. Over 200 teenagers accepted Christ in those three days! There were teens who had attended last year and been saved; they brought friends this year who also got saved. What an amazing feeling to be able to be a part of someone's receiving Jesus as their Saviour and knowing their eternity is settled forever! Those teens will not soon forget this week, if ever.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today, though, is a different story. We are all exhausted! I've had kids in almost every class trying to sleep. This has simply been a busy week, and we are all ready for our day off tomorrow. The lady staff members get to go away for a special retreat, leaving behind our students, husbands, children, grade books, classrooms, and messy houses! Praise the Lord for some time to just relaaaaax.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have spent the last month in and out of the school office, trying to get Dale's schedule for next year nailed down. There have been some slight changes to the Washington state requirements for seniors graduating in 2017, but, praise the Lord, nothing that will prevent Dale from marching with his class. (As a Christian school, we always strive to match and then exceed state requirements for graduating seniors and also include Bible classes as required credits for high school.) Dale has been working SO VERY HARD this year to catch up on some credits he missed in his first years in high school, mainly due to his mental limitations at that time. As I stated in my last post, his mental abilities have improved while his physical abilities have declined. So, our school leaders decided to waive Dale's P.E. requirements and count his Bible credits as needed electives so that he is able to finish his high school education next year and walk with his class. This summer, Dale will need to (possibly) do a Social Studies PACE or two to complete that subject and continue to work on his English PACEs since he's only partway through his 11th grade English work. But....it looks like his schedule next year will, finally, be a little lighter. He'll take Bible, English, Government/Economics, Choir, Health, and Math. I am so thankful for all the help I've received in creating Dale's IEP (Individualized Education Plan) and in making sure he stays on track and completes his assignments. We keep telling Dale (and ourselves!) that "next year your backpack won't be as heavy" because of a supposed easier classload---but so far that hasn't actually happened. I am determined to make his backpack lighter, which will ease the strain on those of us whose backs and shoulders ache from lugging it around!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We are so blessed to be in this church and school, among friends, church family, and coworkers who care about our family and show their support any way they can---through prayer, through physical assistance, through arranging special circumstances or gifts, and sometimes through explaining to their children Dale's limitations so that those young ones can grow up with an appreciation for a handicapped individual. I feel like our whole church and school has grown through Dale's accident and can now understand those who are physically disabled or mentally challenged because we see a living example every day. I know my husband and I reared our children with a gentle concern for disabled people before Dale's accident, but now we understand what they go through a whole lot better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm also so thankful for the many people across the nation and the world who have followed Dale's progress since that fateful day in August when our lives changed. You have prayed and wept and cared and given, and we can never thank you enough. I feel like some might think we mention this all the time, but I believe we cannot say it enough: You have filled our hearts with your love, and we could not have gotten through these hardships without the knowledge that we were not in this alone. Yes, we have our God and always will, but we also have each other to help us through.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Philippians 1: 3 and 7a "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you...Even as it is meet for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart."</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-59866481506819304992016-03-07T16:30:00.000-08:002016-03-07T16:30:23.095-08:00Happy Easter, y'all!<span style="font-size: large;">Can you believe Easter is almost upon us? I really don't like it when Easter comes in March; it seems almost as if the year is being rushed along too quickly, and we can't take the time to enjoy any breaks between seasons or holidays. I mean, I just took down the penguin and snowflake window clings at my house, and now I need to put up bunnies and eggs and such! That being said, Happy Easter to everyone!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I believe it is time to give you a realistic update on Dale's condition. Our family tends to "put on a good face" whenever we are asked how he's doing, without going into any details, but somehow I feel the time has come to be completely open. Please know that we are not asking for any sympathy, nor do we wish to sound like we are complaining---just stating facts as they truly are. We appreciate your prayers and continued support for us; it's so good to know we are not alone as we face each day's challenges.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale, quite simply, is not getting any better. In fact, he's getting worse. As time progresses, Dale's abilities decline and he becomes more dependent on those around him. There was a time during his recovery that Dale could walk without assistance, that we could stand at the bottom of a short flight of stairs and watch him walk up rather than assist him on each step, that he could get ready for bed on his own and turn off his light and climb into bed, that he could put away his own clothes into dresser drawers and closet without difficulty. Those times are past. Now we walk up and down stairs with him without being more than two steps away. Now we stay upstairs with him while uses the restroom and brushes his teeth before we walk him into his bedroom, and then wait in the hall for him to get dressed for bed before we turn off his bedroom light. Now we walk him down the hall to the bathroom from the living room, and back again when he is finished.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale needs my help getting into and out of the bathtub. He needs my help most times with washing his hair because he has to sit in the tub and try to scrunch down to a reclining position to rinse his hair, and this movement causes him to jerk violently. He cannot step into the tub on his own, and trying to get out of the wet, slick tub after his bath is almost always a wrestling match between him and me! He cannot stand for a shower because he no longer has the motor control to keep himself from jerking and then falling. So far, Dale does not need help using the restroom, but I honestly don't think that is too far down the road.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale's ability to walk correctly is severely limited. He continually hunches his shoulders, juts his neck forward, stares at his feet, clenches his free hand and grips his pocket or jacket, and takes smaller steps that his natural gait should allow. Walking across the gym can take a short minute or a long five minutes. He no longer has the ability to control any shaking or jerking that his limbs frequently exhibit, nor does he have the strength to walk more than a few steps without becoming winded. What's worse is he doesn't listen when anyone tries to give encouraging hints or suggestions to help him walk better. Dale does what he thinks he needs to and absolutely refuses to change. Going into a store with him is always a trying experience. I am usually the one to hold him by the hand and walk, for two reasons: no one else has the patience for it, and I know how stressful walking with him is and I don't want anyone else stressed out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale cannot do most household chores. He cannot stand to unload the dishwasher. He cannot bring down his laundry hamper or take his clothes upstairs when they're clean. He cannot help clean the bathrooms or take out the garbage or vacuum. His sisters get frustrated because Dale's chores have been divided among all of us, while Dale sits at the table with his tablet. He does what he can, but that's honestly not much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Because I am usually the one to walk Dale around, Dale has become more dependent on me. He seems to have decided that I am the only one he can ask for assistance of any kind: taking his plate to the sink, walking him to the restroom, answering a question, etc. Other family members have bought into this philosophy as well, for the most part unintentionally, by thinking that I can handle Dale's needs better than anyone else. So I have become Dale's primary care giver, thus assuming the lion's share of the responsibility and the stress. Naturally, this has made me feel burdened with caring for my handicapped son, rather than blessed to be able to still have my Dale alive and with me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">See what I mean by being open? I know we're not the only family to be struggling with caring for a disabled member, and we are definitely not looking for pity or tears. I'm also aware that circumstances could be a whole lot worse, and I am grateful that Dale can do what he can do. There may be some who will criticize us for complaining about "God's miracle"; please don't think that's what I'm doing here. God did indeed perform an amazing miracle when He gave Dale back his breath and heartbeat and life, and I do not wish that had been different. I do wish Dale had not given up once he realized God was not going to heal him fully, completely. I do wish Dale had not gotten angry with God for not allowing him to live the life he had decided on. I do wish Dale had not stopped trying to improve his physical abilities, because that is when he began to decline. However, I praise God for the wonderful works He has done in our family, and I continually pray that my spirit will be right so that I do not ever think how things might have been if God had only..... No---that kind of thinking is dangerous; it leads to discontent, complaining, self-pity, and the like.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now you know what life in the Ostrander household is like. Simply put, it's all about Dale. Every thing we do, every outing we wish to take, every household chore we have to do---it's all centered on whether Dale can do it or not, or whether Dale can go there or not. Every thump we hear, we jump and worry if Dale fell and got hurt or not. Every time Dale falls, we worry if he put another hole in the wall or not. The older girls and I take turns walking Dale up the stairs to bed each night. We take turns getting Dale his medication each morning and night. We are versed in how to brace Dale when he falls so as to mitigate any injuries he may receive. We are always on alert in case Dale goes into a seizure. We literally don't make a move without considering Dale first.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now, for the good news:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We've discovered, as people with disabled children do, that life continues after an accident. We've reorganized our lives to include the need for more time getting to/from events or locations. We've learned to stop and wait for Dale to slooooowly get the words out that he is trying to stay. We've decided to take each day as it comes and enjoy what we can. Some days, Dale can walk fine and talk fine, and our family kind of forgets that he's different now. Some days, it's all too obvious. I'm thankful beyond measure that Dale's mental faculties have returned to the point he is doing well in school and is on track to graduate next year with his class. I'm thankful that he still possesses his sharp wit and crazy humor. It's funny to us to see the looks on people's faces who, when Dale starts to speak, expect him to say something obtuse or irrelevant and are surprised to hear him "talk like a normal person." Oh, he has his moments when nothing he says makes sense---but then again, he <em><u><strong>is</strong></u></em> a guy!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There are days when we are screaming in frustration at our situation. There are days when we are overwhelmed with gratitude. But, most days, we just are. Most days, we just deal with it. We strive to remember: God's grace is sufficient for our daily needs. We are the ones who forget to use it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">II Corinthians 12:9 "And He said unto me, 'My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-47169689572407869002016-01-16T17:10:00.001-08:002016-01-16T17:10:52.774-08:00Goal: Absolute Perfection!<span style="font-size: large;">How in the world has it been so long since I've posted anything on this blog?! The amount of time between entries might be attributed to medical concerns, busy schedule, lack of available writing time, holidays, or whatever excuse comes to mind, but the truth is, I haven't written because I haven't wanted to. I've been somewhat depressed lately for various reasons, and I haven't felt like being cheerful and upbeat and coherent for my next post. Let me explain….</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Do any of y'all feel depressed around the holidays? I've heard that statistics are through the roof about the suicide rate, alcoholism, and drug abuse during what should be the most festive season of our whole year. One would think someone who attends church faithfully, teaches in a Christ-centered school, hears God's Word on a regular basis, and surrounds himself with godly people would have no problem keeping his eyes on Christ for daily uplifting, no matter the time of year. In a perfect world, this would be so. But none of us live in a perfect world with perfect spouses and perfect children who get perfect grades and have perfect behavior records. Not one of us has a perfect house or perfect job or perfect, Barbie-esque figures; we don't have perfect teeth or perfect hair or present perfect appearances. I know for a fact my cute little fur ball doggie isn't perfect---I regularly have to clean up after her when she decides going outside to relieve herself is just too much work. (Side note: Thursday night, I took the garbage can to the street for the following day's pickup. Peanut [aforementioned dog] accompanied me, intent on exploring any previously unmarked territory. I completed my task as quickly as possible and turned to call her. She had disappeared behind the neighbor's car, parked in their driveway. When I rounded the back of their car in search of my errant dog, I discovered her "doing her business" next to the back tire of their vehicle. In their driveway! And #2, not just #1, which might have some chance of drying overnight and thus being undetected by said neighbor. Stupid dog! I had to go through the back gate, struggle to latch it, pick my flashlight-aided way along the side of the house around the corner to the back door, shoo my dog inside before closing and bolting the door, and then make my way---armed with paper towels---out the front door and over to the neighbor's driveway where I squatted down and carefully cleaned up the deposits my "man's best friend" had left for the poor, unsuspecting neighbors. I certainly hope no one was watching right then because I'm sure I looked like some creepy sort of stalker! End of side note.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My point is this: I am not perfect. Does this come as a surprise to anyone? You are not perfect. I don't think there are many people in the world who would even claim to be close to perfect. God Himself tells us, "There is none righteous, no, not one." And He goes even further than that when He says all our "righteousness" is as filthy rags. (Think: dog poo-covered paper towels!) I'm pretty sure we're all in agreement that none of us is perfect, right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, why, then, are we so bent on achieving perfection? Why do we try so hard to reach the impossible? Why do we set ourselves up for failure by striving for that which, until Heaven, is out of our reach? And why, then, do we berate ourselves so bitterly when we fail? Why do we chastise ourselves and criticize ourselves when we repeatedly show that we are, indeed, human?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The more spiritual among us would wish to answer that we strive for perfection because we wish to be like God, and I would agree. We should try our utmost to be like our Heavenly Father in every way. But, in my life, I know the answer to the question posed is a different one. And….the answer is quite telling. I try so hard to be perfect because I don't want to admit I'm not. I don't want to admit I'm not perfect because I want to be perfect already. And, I want to be perfect already because I don't want to have to wait for God to make me perfect. I want it now. I want perfection now because I don't want to have to admit day after day, hour after hour, life event after life event, that I NEED GOD. I need Him. I am only complete through Him and with Him in control. Do you see? If I can do everything perfectly on my own, then I'm not as hopeless a sinner as I really am. If I can achieve perfection right now, then I don't need God as desperately as I really do. It's simply a matter of pride, isn't it? My desire to be perfect has nothing to do with being like God; it has everything to do with living my life without God. I want to be in control.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Somehow, I have created a fictional world where I am in charge and everything and everyone around me flourishes. In my fantasy, I am perfect and do all things perfectly: I am a perfect wife and mother and teacher and friend and daughter and sister and caregiver and cook and housekeeper and grocery shopper and meal planner and so on and so forth. I believe that if I were just perfect, everything around me would be perfect. I would have perfect kids and a perfect husband and a perfect job and perfect students and a perfect house that was perfectly clean. Nothing would be amiss in my perfect world because I would be the center and I would be perfect. And, in my thinking, since I obviously don't live in a perfect world with a perfect life and perfect children, then I am to be blamed for not being that perfect center.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If God Himself doesn't expect perfection, why do we demand it of ourselves? I have admitted that my desire to be perfect stems from my desire not to have to depend on God for daily stability and guidance. It took a lot of thinking and honesty and prayer to reach that point where I was willing to confess my pride. But confession, though good for the soul, doesn't change my thinking. Constant contact with my Father does. Talking with God (prayer) and listening to Him talk to me (reading my Bible) will change my wrongful thinking and help me be a better person. This will, in turn, make me more like Christ….Who is, remember, perfect! Eventually, I will get my wish and be just like my Heavenly Father. For now, I will strive to be as close to Him in prayer and Bible reading and actions as I---humanly---can.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please continue to pray for Dale as he struggles with trusting God with His life, too. Dale is always willing to talk about his trust issues, but God is still working on his heart to help Dale see how much He loves him. Dale has good days and bad days physically, but we all keep plugging away and doing our best to help him. He's up-to-date in his school work so far, and I'm kind of excited about finishing this year (I know we're only through the first semester!) and looking ahead at his senior year. God is always good, even when we forget to remember that. It's wonderful to know that God doesn't have good days and bad days; He is a steady, solid Rock that we can always lean on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Have a wonderful 2016! God bless you!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever."</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-45909614017274846332015-11-27T11:52:00.001-08:002015-11-27T11:52:42.682-08:00Happy Day-After-Thanksgiving to you!<span style="font-size: large;">How was your Thanksgiving? Did you get to spend time with family or friends? Did you have your annual Turkey Bowl/civil war? Did you stuff yourself so full that you barely had the willpower left to roll yourself to the couch where you lay in a semi-comatose state…..until the effects wore off and you were ready for seconds?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. We actually debated going out to a buffet for our meal this year; my husband wanted to take the stress off of me and the girls, having to spend hours cooking the huge feast and setting the table and finding enough matching dishes to look good….and then cleaning up afterwards. With the size family we have, it probably would have cost about the same to go out to eat as staying home, but we wouldn't have all those wonderful, exasperating, where-in-the-world-do-I-put-these leftovers that are now crammed in our fridge. There's nothing quite like the satisfaction one feels when one has managed to perfectly balance two bowls, one cheesecake, and a plate of cranberry sauce in one beautiful, if precarious, tower! I think most of us did, in fact, pass out on various couches after dinner, hoping to sleep off the effects of holiday overindulgence. But, all in all, we had a lovely day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I think one of the highlights of this holiday was the conversation that Dale and Ashley had in the evening. Dale was extra shaky yesterday and having trouble with, what seemed to us, the simplest tasks. Walking down the hall to the bathroom, remembering to flush the toilet, sitting down on the couch without falling down….that sort of thing. Ashley was frustrated with him because he wasn't listening to advice given by her and the falling-down results were the same. I chose to stay out of their conversation, not because I wanted them to bond or anything but rather because I was tired of dealing with him. This lack of listening behavior has been going on for a while now, and I was more than willing to let someone else do the talking. And I'm so glad I did. Dale began telling Ashley things I've never heard him say before. He told her how he felt about the falling down, he told her that Dad and Mom don't let him try to do things on his own anymore, and he told her that he didn't see the need to try harder when nothing made any difference. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! The realization struck me that Dale's and Ashley's relationship is different than Dale's and mine; after all, they are brother and sister whereas he and I are son and mother. There are certain things he feels he can't say to me that he had no trouble expressing to Sash. I let them talk for a bit, just listening in, before going into the other room and joining them. I realized that, in my efforts to motivate Dale to see all he was giving up on by not working as hard as I thought he should at his exercises (mobility, control of limbs, possible college, future job, life….), I was actually stripping him of any hope for anything better than the present. I was wiping away all joy and desire and ambition for life beyond high school. My efforts to prod him to walk better, to think better, to listen better were having the opposite effect; I was pushing him farther and farther into the grip of depression and misery.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Was that ever an eye-opener! I---the one who believes herself to be the only one who understands Dale, who has the ability to help him walk, who has the patience to help him as he struggles---am the one who is holding him down and not letting him try to succeed on his power. I realized I wasn't just clipping his wings; I was strapping them to his body and blaming him for not being able to fly. Ashley, Dale, and I talked for a long time, apologizing and loving and encouraging and bonding together. We each expressed the desire to see Dale regain lost muscle tone and balance, to help him achieve more independence, to look for new ways he can grow and develop his future, to reaffirm our commitment to help each other any way we can. Because that's what family does. We're there for each other, we help each other, we support each other, and sometimes we carry each other.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, I'm going to be looking into college-level computer courses for Dale to set his mind toward. He's a junior in high school right now and is on track to graduate with his class. He is taking Spanish this year through Rosetta Stone, and I was surprised to see how steady his hand in when moving the mouse! Normally, even with a pencil and paper, he struggles with the jerking movements that sometimes occur; but he seems to excel with the mouse and headphone set he uses in Spanish. So I'm going to see about other computer-related possibilities for Dale. I'm kind of excited to see what might pop up!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We're entering one of the busiest times of the year, for parents or children or businesses or teachers or students or anybody. The rush of holiday shopping, the chaos of Christmas decorating, the panic of last-minute presents. For teachers, it's the efforts to capture and retain the students' attention, the push to cram in actual teaching around excitement and home games and parties. It's easy to get so wrapped up (see what I did there?) in the whirl of Christmas activities that we forget to enjoy the simplicity of the holiday. We need to decide now that, at least once a day, we'll stop and thank God for Christmas and for sending His Son to be born as a babe. We need to appreciate our families, our jobs, our health, our houses, our cars, our pets, our friends, our neighbors. We should rejoice in the ability to buy tons of awesome presents or just a simple gift for each loved one. The lights, the sparkle, the music, the decor, the food, the tree, the gifts---these are all just reflections of our Father's love for us, displayed in the greatest gift of all, the gift of selfless love. When God gave us Jesus, He gave us everything. Let's choose to remember Him in the midst of celebrating His birth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">John 3: 16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." </span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-8469438235991821212015-10-05T01:23:00.001-07:002015-10-05T01:23:13.327-07:00Judge not......<span style="font-size: large;">Oh my goodness! Is your family as busy as ours is right now? Those of you with children know the craziness of back-to-school time with shopping for clothes, gathering school supplies, finding buried backpacks and lunch boxes and shoes, and hoping desperately that you remembered to actually sign your child up for classes---not that that's ever happened to me, you understand…!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our school year should be "easier" this year because we are down to just three kids in school, now that both Amanda and Katie have graduated. This means a lower curriculum bill, one less lunch to make each day, and less money going out for school activities. But I still have the same number of people in the van because Katie has been hired on staff! She now has the dubious title of "Lunch Lady" as well as "Janitor." She plans the weekly school lunch menu, cooks and serves the food, and orders the stock regularly; then, after school and on weekends, she cleans the gymnasium (where our classrooms are). She searched for a job all summer, putting in applications and getting her resume out there. Finally, in August, Round Table Pizza hired her for a few hours a week. One week later she received the offer to do lunches and clean the gym! Now she has so many hours at school that she has had to give notice at Round Table. Praise the Lord!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale is actually in two classes this year! He is completing PACES in Algebra I, Bible, and English, but he gets to be in science and consumer math class. He is also taking Spanish this year using Rosetta Stone, so he's in the computer classroom but working at his own speed. He seems to be doing well enough with his grades, passing his courses and studying hard. His walking though is getting harder, I think. He exercises regularly, but it's just so hard for him to simply take steps. On a recent outing, my husband bought Dale some new tennis shoes. He's been wanting and needing some, and these are awesome. They're bright and colorful---he's so tired of basic black!---and they fit well. They don't necessarily improve his gait, but they don't hinder it either (something I was seriously concerned about). And they have special shoelaces that just require pulling to tighten, rather than tying. Those are nice! I think, unless God chooses to again show His might and reconnect Dale's brain patterns fully, we might be seeing Dale's best walking ability right now. Still, he's alive and well, and we are soooo thankful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It has been borne in upon us since Dale's accident four years ago that we truly don't understand another's situation until we are actually in their shoes. Before we raced frantically to the hospital, before we hovered over Dale's bedside, praying for life, before we spent literally weeks in different hospitals, before we considered a good day one in which Dale had managed to swallow properly---we honestly had no idea the struggles a family with a disabled child goes through. I have always considered myself to be a compassionate person, one who is ever ready to listen sympathetically or give a hug or spend time in prayer for someone going through a rough time. But for me to say that I "knew" what those families were going through would have been a gross understatement. I had no idea how each minute could be an eternity, how normal activities could become insurmountable tasks, how daily life could be so overwhelming that sometimes you just want to stop. Just stop. Close the door, don't leave the house, turn off your phone, and pull your family close and never let go.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">People were so understanding those first few weeks and months. We had complete strangers come up to us in the store and tell us they were praying for us. Our church family was absolutely wonderful with prayers, meals, tears, help, and love. I took a year off teaching school to tutor Dale and take him to doctor and therapy appointments; Chad worked hard but spent every moment he could at home. Life was hard, but it was also bathed in the very real knowledge that God was working daily in our lives. We could <u>feel</u> His presence. It took us a while to adjust our schedules to accommodate Dale's needs, which meant we had to step down from a lot of ministries we'd been involved in (nursery, choir, soul winning, etc.), simply because someone had to be with Dale at all times. I remember being so appreciative of folks understanding that we didn't stop these ministries because we wanted to but because we had to cut things out of our schedule and rewrite a new daily plan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But it's been four years now. It's been four years since Dale's accident, three years since he had twice-weekly physical therapy sessions and weekly speech therapy. He now sees a doctor only about every six months, and he's really doing very well. We've been able to gradually add things back into our schedule so that now we are just about as busy as before, just not doing the same things. We go visiting on our bus route each Saturday morning; I rejoined the choir and conduct Children's Choir each Sunday evening; I also conduct Buttons and Bows (a club for girls) twice a month; Chad drives the bus for teen soul winning on Wednesdays (when his job allows), and Ashley goes out too; Emily is involved with Children's Challenge every Saturday morning; Katie and Ashley work in the nurseries; Chad leads singing in Sunday school and baptizes new converts. See what I mean? All this is in addition to school each day during the week and all that entails.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I list these things to make a point. To a casual observer, it looks like we are overwhelmingly busy with church activities---and they'd be right! It requires continual effort on our part to make sure our activity is not for men's applause, but for God's. We do these things because we should be involved in our local church, but our hearts' attitude is one of service. We do these things because we love God and want to be of service to Him. We want Him to use us daily. This, I believe, is the attitude of most Christians.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But it's so easy to slip from this attitude of service to one of judgment. "If I can do all this for God with a handicapped child, why aren't <u>you</u> doing more?" or "Why should I volunteer for that function when I have a disabled son to care for?" We have to be so careful not to assign motives to people who don't volunteer when we simply do not know what they are dealing with in their personal lives. Dale's disability is very visible; someone else's disability may be hidden but just as debilitating. Oh, Father, please guard my tongue and my thoughts that I do not hurt one of Your children because of my selfish, sinful desire to compare myself with them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As well, I would hope that no one judges me or my family. "It's been four years. How much longer are they going to use Dale's accident as an excuse not to _____?" or "I realize they have a lot to handle, but I still think they should be faithful to ______." I've been upset for a while now about that last one. My family feels the sting of thinly veiled suggestions that we are letting others down by not attending, say, bus meeting on Saturday mornings. We do make it after the meeting ends and get our assignments for visitation that day, but we do not often make it to the meeting itself. On the one hand, I understand that this is an announced meeting designed to challenge people to do their best out visiting that day. I realize that sometimes prizes are given out for the route with the most workers in attendance. I know that a bus captain's heart is set at ease when he sees his workers at the meeting, knowing he does not have to visit the entire route by himself! On the other hand, five days a week I am punching a time-clock, waking my family up early, helping my son into the bathroom, trying to awaken my youngest who absolutely hates getting up in the morning, walking backwards down the stairs in front of Dale who usually gets shaky on the stairs and has to sit down every two or three steps, urging him to get up and keep going because we have to be at school on time, hating the fact that I know it's making it harder on him to have to try to hurry, knowing that he really would benefit physically by another hour or two of sleep---but we don't have that choice. School starts at 8:25 a.m., Monday through Friday, regardless of Dale's physical condition. So when given the chance to slow things down a bit, we do. When given the option to slow down on the stairs and not push Dale to keep going, I let him sit down and relax for a minute. Since I'm not docked for missing bus meeting and the kids aren't considered tardy, I choose not make an issue of it. After all, we get there in time to send Emily out on Children's Challenge and get our visitation assignments, so I feel we're doing our part.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm going to go a bit farther. Sometimes, on a Sunday morning, if Dale is struggling with the stairs extra or just plain old struggling, I have no problem skipping Sunday school. I know, I know---the horror!!! Again, I'm thankful not to have to punch a time-clock for Sunday school, so if I have a few extra minutes I can take without the world coming to a screeching halt, I'll take them. It's not that I consider my job more important than God's work; after all, my job is part of my service to God. It's not that I think earning a dollar more important than earning God's favor; I think He honestly understands that sometimes it's nice not to be forced to rush. I would rather miss bus meeting or be late for Sunday school than cause my son to have a seizure because I'm pushing him harder than he can handle. Especially if I'm pushing him to get out the door just so someone doesn't criticize me for not being on time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It all goes back to "Judge not, lest ye be judged." I don't want people to be judgmental towards me and my family, as if we're using Dale's accident and subsequent handicap to get out of doing stuff. So I'd better be sure I'm not judging others based on my ideas of what they should be able to do. We all have our own trials and difficulties to overcome. I certainly wouldn't want someone thinking, "If I were in her shoes, I would still be able to ______," so I'd better be careful not to assume that of others either. We each need to be more aware of our own faults and shortcomings than we are someone else's. God doesn't expect us to change others; He expects us to change ourselves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I love you people; you have been our cheerleaders and prayer warriors for quite some time now, and we appreciate every word spoken. Let's lift each other up with our thoughts and prayers and glances, so that God might be so very pleased with our service.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Galatians 6:2 "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-70935641133323839182015-08-05T21:51:00.001-07:002015-08-05T21:51:51.595-07:00From this time forth and forevermore.....thank you.<span style="font-size: large;">Our choir sang a song Sunday morning in church titled "My Tribute." Have you ever heard of it? The first few lines are: "How can I give thanks for the things You have done for me---things so undeserved yet You give to prove Your love for me? The voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude!" </span><span style="font-size: large;">This perfectly sums up my feeble attempts to thank our wonderful Heavenly Father for His blessings my whole life but especially in these last years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You see, four years ago this morning, I waved goodbye to my three oldest children as they boarded the church bus for an outing at the beach. I hugged them quickly and we threw "I love you"s at each other before they slammed the car doors shut and raced to join their friends. My son Dale stopped outside my window long enough to form his hands into the shape of a heart and wait for me to return our secret signal of love. My two oldest girls were excited to be spending some time outdoors and hoping to get a tan while Dale was just thrilled to be part of the youth group, having just exited sixth grade two months before. I pulled out of the church parking lot and headed for a friend's house to drop off my two younger girls, already contemplating how I would spend this unexpected free time with no kids around.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I think back to my activities of that day in bemusement, thinking how foolish and self-centered I really was. I spent some time in the hot tub, took a leisurely shower (all moms know how rare that is!), and then cleaned my glass back door before applying summery gel window clings. If I had only known what was transpiring three hours away......</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The teens had all been warned before they got off the bus not to go out deep into the water. This was not a swimming activity; they were just supposed to be wading and splashing around. Amanda, my oldest, had been charged before she left with the task of keeping an eye on her young brother. Dale was 12 and crazy, and I felt like he could benefit from all the looking after he could stand! She and Katie had been with the girls just down the beach, playing and having a good time, but Amanda was careful to regularly glance over at the guys' group, pinpoint Dale's location, and make sure he was all right. The day was beautifully sunny, the water was refreshing, and the kids were in high spirits. It was a perfect day for a teen activity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was about halfway through the afternoon when one of the guys came racing over to the girls' group, screaming at them to get out of the water. They brushed him off, saying they weren't out too far. When he persisted, they said, "What's the big deal?" His response silenced their laughter. He said, "There's somebody in trouble out in the water, and it's your brother!", pointing at Amanda and Katie. Immediately, fear and nausea welling up inside them, they turned to frantically scan the water, desperate for a sight of their brother. Anything to cancel out the horrible news, anything to dispel the growing terror. Mandie felt guilt wash over her as she realized it had been a while since she had checked on Dale. Their scouring gaze revealed only that the guys were already out of the water and on the beach, huddled in groups, while Bro. Jon, their youth pastor, had waded out as far as he could to search for signs of Dale. The same fear and disbelief was etched on each face. This wasn't supposed to happen to somebody they knew. It wasn't supposed to happen to a church kid. It wasn't supposed to happen to them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">How do I say thanks for the godly teachers, principals, youth leaders, Sunday school teachers, nursery workers, parents, and grandparents who had spent countless hours instilling in our young people the fact that there is a God in heaven, that He hears us when we pray, that He is able to move heaven and earth to do His will, and that He cares about each and every one of us. Those teenagers dropped to their knees, some their faces, on the sand and began to beg God to save Dale. He was lost out in the ocean somewhere, fighting for his very life, and our youth group, through fear and tears and despair, called out to the One Who holds us in His hands. They were the first responders that day, beseeching God with weeping and wordless cries to spare Dale's life, to at least let his body be found.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">How do I say thanks to our incredible church leaders who were there on the worst day in our family's lives? How do I express my gratitude for the love and prayers and money and tears and hugs and smiles and visits and encouragement and support they gave us then and have continued to give us? They stood with us in the hospital waiting room, asking our forgiveness for letting this tragedy happen to our son while under their care. I don't think they truly understood then what Chad and I tried to tell them---that we don't blame them for the accident, never have. That we believe that God set in motion the events of that day and the days following so that we might bring honor and glory to Him. We admire those leaders for their strength and courage that day, helping that busload of teenagers to cry and grieve and pray and heal that oh-so-long bus ride home that afternoon, then turning around to drive right back so that they could be with us in Doernbecher, standing around Dale's bedside, pacing the halls, praying, praying, praying. Roy and K'arin Hanson, you wrapped my heart in your words and cried with me. Jon Minge, you took your life in your hands when you went back in the water to look for my son. I still have that picture of you waist-deep in the ocean, searching for my boy. I will never forget that as long as I live. Whitney, you stood beside me without speaking, just let your prescence comfort me. Preacher and Mrs. Minge, you reacted to the dreadful news as if Dale was your own son, as I know you feel. You took our two girls in your truck, wet and sandy and disheveled, bought them clothes, drove them to Doernbecher, then stayed with us while Chad and I broke the news that the doctor was not giving us any hope. You cancelled VBS that next week because you didn't think anyone would be able to work it; there were so many people day after day, busloads and shuttleloads of church family who came to visit. Preacher, you let us see how hard Dale's drowning hit you when you talked about having to get up and preach on Sunday with that heaviness in your heart. Accounts given tell how you stopped the service early Sunday night so that people could pray.......and nearly the entire congregation left their seats and poured down the aisles to ask God to wake Dale up. Mrs. Minge, I hope you know how special you are to me. I cannot possibly tell you how much each word, each glance, each smile has strengthened my heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">How can I say thanks to my wonderful church family who showered us with help, blessings, money, food, clothes, and love during those weeks in the hospital? To effectively list all those who should be mentioned, I refer you to our church roster. Every single person prayed or gave money or brought a meal or paid for school supplies or bought stuffed animals and blankets or just loved us. Jessica and Sarah Waugh, especially, stayed with us at Doernbecher and never left, paying for meals, taking our younger girls to the playroom and for walks, sitting with Dale so that I could get some sleep. My mom and dad came to visit, and Becky Welch and Becky Shattuck picked them up from the airport for us and drove them all the way down to Oregon. Tina O'Connor not only closed up our house for us so that we could leave right away for the hospital, but also took care of our dog, the library, and lots of little errands. Numerous calls and visits and cards and love flooded our way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">How can I say thanks for the continued love and support our family receives? Church family who stop by to ask Dale how he's doing, who continue to pray for God's perfect healing of our son, who tease Dale as he struggles to walk properly, who accomodate him in school and act like it's no big deal when really it's huge. Those who occasionally still stop to give me a hug or shake Chad's hand and slip some money into it. Who get behind us in the hallway and patiently wait the extra minutes it takes for Dale to navigate around the corners. Who would drop everything if we needed someone to help us......and have. Those of you who don't live nearby but pray with us daily. Those who have sent cards and letters and money and gift cards. Those who we may never get to thank in person until we meet at the Throne.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">How. Can. I. Give. Thanks.....to the One Who holds our world together? If we did not have our God in heaven to cry out to when all seems black and death is imminent, how could we survive? If we did not have the promise of seeing our loved ones again, how could we continue to live? If we did not have eternal life through Jesus, how could we hope for anything? If we did not know beyond any question that God holds our future and does not tremble, how could we exist? If not for His tender mercy and comforting presence, how could we bear it? I know my God loves me. I know my God cares what happens to me and mine. I know my God cries when I cry and grieves when I grieve and stands strong when I am weak and holds me close when I cannot face tomorrow. I know my God's plan was for my son to die that day in the ocean, far away from me. I know my God changed His mind when He heard the prayers of people begging Him to show His mighty hand. I know my God loves my son and has a plan for his future, even though I cannot see it. I know my God is there. I know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">These are rhetorical questions. The answer is obvious: I can't. I can't say thank you enough. I can't express my gratitude enough. I can't show my thankfulness enough. I certainly can't repay everyone's love and kindness. And there is no way I can properly express my thanks to my God for Who He is, for being there when I needed Him most.....which is always, for loving my family, for giving me back my son. But I can try.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, with tears running down my face, with joy overflowing, both now and forever, thank you. Thank you for each prayer; thank you for each gift; thank you for each question; thank you for each card; thank you for each smile. You mean the world to our family.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And thank You, Lord. Just.....thank You, Lord. I love You.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Philippians 2: 13-16 "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure. Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain."</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-43516090151412380612015-07-07T14:59:00.000-07:002015-07-07T14:59:29.719-07:00Summertime, summertime!<span style="font-size: large;">Now is the time for relaxing, getting some sun, tossing the school books in the back of the closet, and sleeping in until noon. Right? Unless you're my husband, who believes sleeping past six o'clock to be unnecessary and "summer" to be synonymous with "extra chores."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Fortunately for my kids, I'm more on their side than his on this issue! I don't want to get up at the crack of dawn during the summer, and I don't want to spend my every waking hour cleaning. So, Chad and I have come to an understanding. I make sure the house is picked up regularly and dishes and laundry are done, plus one or two other chores that have been put off until a convenient time (like summer!), and he doesn't complain if the kids watch extra TV or sleep downstairs on the pull-out couch. I've made it a point to assign certain chores to my children as well as myself, and I follow up to be sure they've gotten done. He accepts the fact that we have the summer off but he doesn't. Poor guy has been putting in some serious overtime at work because of coworkers' injuries and vacations! His normal days off are Tuesday afternoon - Thursday night, but lately he's been working Wednesday mornings and even overnight a time or two. This does result in some extra money coming in…..which nicely balances out the fact that we're short my teaching income during the summer. We haven't even had a chance to take the camper out yet, and it's already heading into the second week of July! Hopefully we'll get away for a couple days before too long.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale has had the summer off from schoolwork so far. He was supposed to be getting his English 10 PACES finished (which we had thought were done but then discovered were only halfway completed!) as well as beginning tutoring in Algebra I PACES, but, upon further investigation, we found we needed to order the remaining English 10 PACES---and we're still waiting on the math as well. So Dale's gotten more of a summer break than we anticipated, but it's been nice for him not to have to be bent over the books all the time. I've had two meetings with our principal about Dale's schooling, and we've mapped out his academic schedule for the next two years, including summer school. This next year will really make the difference for Dale. If he can really push himself and pass some necessary classes, he can take it a little easier his senior year. We've sat down and talked this whole thing through with him, and he understands how important it will be for him to stay on top of his studies in order to graduate on time with his class. Hopefully he'll get the tough classes out of the way this year (math, science, history) and be able to breathe a bit easier next year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We've also implemented a more rigid exercise routine for him. It does Dale no good to sit around all day, even during summer break, causing him to be extremely unsteady and fall more frequently. During the school year, he gets up and moves around at the end of each class hour; we've been reminding him to get up and walk around the house more. He's been going through a series of exercises (strength, squats, etc.) each morning since about March, and we noticed a difference when he exercises regularly. Now, we've added some afternoon exercises, ones that work his leg muscles and add strength and stability. This not only improves his balance and confidence but also goes toward his needed Health/Fitness credits for his diploma (since he cannot be part of the regular P.E. classes). Please pray that these exercises will help Dale gain back some of the muscle tone and steadiness he lost since last summer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Many of you know of Dale's struggles with anger and bitterness in the past year or so. This is an ongoing battle for him, one he faces every time he tries to stand and every time he hears of a youth activity or school function that he cannot participate in. There are times it seems he's handling his emotions well, and then there are times it is obvious that he's still withdrawing from our Heavenly Father out of hurt and anger. He hears stories of others who have struggled and knows they had to choose to trust God no matter what, but he is unwilling to make that choice himself. He feels that God was unfair to take away his future and leave him like this. None of us can truly know what Dale feels like or how hard it is for him to daily, hourly realize that life is moving on without him. He doesn't get to make plans to go out with his friends or mow someone's lawn to raise money for Youth Conference or get his driver's license. He's facing the reality that everyone is growing up and buckling down to graduate in two years' time and then heading off to college or the military, and he's just trying to get a piece of paper. There are no college plans for him, no saving up to get his first car, no liking a girl and wondering if this high school romance will last. Dale is fighting every day just to still believe God loves him. He knows what the Bible says, that God is love, but he is so angry about his situation that he does not want to accept that. I feel that, if Dale accepts that God loves him and still allowed this awful thing to happen, then Dale has to accept that everything else is true---that we are here for God's purpose and that that purpose might have nothing to do with our plans for our future. Dale was more than willing to go to church and tithe and read his Bible and pray AND become an inventor (his desire), but he's not interested in going to church and tithing and reading his Bible and praying and being a living example of God's answer to prayer. He honestly may not see God's plan for what it is until he reaches Heaven, but I hope and pray Dale gives in and gives up to God before then so that he might still lay up treasures in Heaven. Please continue to pray for Dale as he learns this terribly hard lesson, to trust God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our Katie graduated from high school one month ago and is now on the hunt for a job! She's put in applications seemingly everywhere and has had a couple of interviews; now she just has to wait and see what God has for her. This is really hard for her (and her dad!), but she made the decision to wait on college and save up money first while still serving Him faithfully, and God will honor that. It's just so hard to be waiting around, hoping some employer will call!!! Please pray with us that she'll get a job soon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our daughter Ashley got to go to Youth Conference the end of June with our youth group. She came back exhausted but full of stories of the fun they'd had and the sermons they'd heard. Praise the Lord for a church and a youth pastor who believe in leading our young people toward God and not just having silly, fun activities. I know how important my youth leaders were when I was growing up, and I'm so thankful that my children have had godly leaders to help us guide them as they grow. Ashley also got to spend some time with our oldest, Amanda, who is now living in the Santa Clara area! They got to have dinner together and hang out for a bit and catch up on sister stuff. Ashley was so excited about that! She's going to be a freshman this year…..where did the time go? She's already freaking out about volleyball and classes and all!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">My Emily is no longer in my class. (Sniff!) She is entering fourth grade in the fall and will not be in my classroom any more---at least, not until after school! What a blessing to be able to teach my own younguns. Emily is excited about growing up but not as thrilled about moving on. She's so accustomed to being the baby that it's sometimes hard for her to accept the fact that she's actually getting older. However, I think she's going to be just fine!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I feel like I don't thank you folks enough for all you have done for our family and meant to us over the past few years. Your prayers, your kind words and thoughts, your gifts and loving cards have all made such an impact on our lives. Many of you we will never get to personally thank this side of Heaven, but please know you are much appreciated and loved. God bless you all! Enjoy your summer!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Psalm 61:2 "From the end of the earth will I cry unto Thee, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I."</span></div>
Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-52273822411798308792015-05-29T10:26:00.001-07:002015-05-29T10:26:21.624-07:00God's blessings abound, as always!<span style="font-size: large;">Whew! What a whirlwind of activity we've been caught up in since my last post! What with vacationing and Ashley's birthday and field trips and school wrapping up and Katie's birthday and Katie's graduation and the girls all switching rooms and EVERYTHING, it's a wonder any of us are still of sound mind!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">First, let me say, our vacation was absolutely spectacular! Nothing major went wrong (a couple of minor things, that's all); we were able to spend time with Chad's mother and stepfather on two different occasions; we got to see everything we really wanted to; and, the girls and Chad saw an alligator on their walk one day! :-) We arrived Thursday evening after a short delay in our connecting flight. Praise the Lord, the flights went well with little turbulence. The girls were disappointed to see rain spattering our plane windows and expected to feel a slight chill in the air to accompany the raindrops. Boy, were they surprised to feel the humidity that hit us when we walked outside the airport!!! The looks on their faces! It only rained that night and some on Monday afternoon, so even the weather was nice to us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We spent Friday at LEGOLAND, and enjoyed every minute of it. All the thousands, probably millions, of Legos that went into building that theme park! There were Lego statues and frameworks everywhere and lots of fun activities to enjoy. I think my favorite memory of that place was when we got to meet Wild Style (Lucy) from The Lego Movie. The younger girls took pictures with her, and then we turned away to find my husband who had walked into another area. Next thing we know, Wild Style is tapping Dale on the shoulder and inviting him to take a picture with her. When he declined, she pretended to be sad and held out her arms for a hug! He really couldn't say no!!! Yes, we caught it on camera. A sixteen-year-old boy hugging Wild Style! Gotta love it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">After we left LEGOLAND, we drove another thirty minutes to my in-laws' house, and they took us out to dinner. I so much enjoyed spending time with them and watching the kids get to know them better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Saturday was the day for the 25th Anniversary of the Dream Village. The festivities lasted a couple of hours and included food, fun, fellowship, and friends. We got to meet Bill Sample's wife, Kate, along with several other recipients of the Sunshine Foundation's generosity, as well as the CEO of LEGOLAND and the two wonderful people who keep the Dream Village running, Rich and Wanda. The honorees who have donated so much time, money, and love to the Dream Village were called forth to receive special recognition, plaques, and engraved bricks. They asked some of the dreamers to help cut ribbons to dedicate certain areas of the Dream Village; Dale got to cut the ribbon at the mini golf course. The climax was the unveiling of a special mural in the Bill Sample Memorial Garden; the miracle makers at LEGOLAND had created a Lego replica of a touching photo of Bill Sample (creator of the Sunshine Foundation) and one of the first children he helped. It now stands as a constant reminder of the man who had a heart big enough for all children. What a tear-filled, happy day for all of us there! If you get a chance, please visit the Sunshine Foundation webpage and read all about this wonderful organization and the people who make dreams come true. This is a truly worthy charity which blesses the lives of children and their families with vacation trips or home therapy swimming pools or whatever they need. You will be glad you learned more about them!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We finished up Saturday with a trip to the Atlantic coastline and a stop in a HUGE mall. Emily got an early birthday present (which she knows about but hasn't actually received yet---her birthday's in June) when we went into the American Girl store. Yea!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">On Sunday, we drove about an hour or so to attend the same church where my husband Chad attended right after he got saved. This was a huge blessing to him and a great experience for us. There were still some of the same people there whom he remembered from nearly 30 years ago; I think Chad enjoyed his walk down memory lane. The service was wonderful, too. You know how sometimes going to church on vacation can be a bit scary......you really don't know exactly what kind of church it will turn out to be! We felt right at home in the service; the only difference (besides the accent) was the big screens up front for displaying announcements and song lyrics. We left feeling thankful to our God for allowing us to enjoy a homey, Bible-filled preaching service, even though we were many miles from our home. After church we went over to my in-laws' house again, but this time we had an awesome barbecue. I stuffed myself with pulled pork because nobody makes pulled pork like they do down South! We relaxed and visited with them for a long while, long enough for Chad to take the girls on a walk down to the lake and spot an alligator. We finished up the day with a quick swim in the Dream Village Olympic-sized swimming pool, since we had the village grounds to ourselves. Even Dale got to go in the water because Bill Sample had the foresight to design and build a pool-accessible wheelchair.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">On Monday we went to Universal Studios and had a blast! We rode the E.T. Experience, the Simpsons Ride (twice!), Terminator: 3D, Transformers, Men in Black, the Mummy, Disaster: the Motion Picture, and lots of others. Sooooo much fun! The only disappointment was when Chad, Katie, and Ashley waited in line for over 45 minutes to ride Twister (roller coaster), and then it started raining so they had to shut the ride down! Dale got a Thing 2 t-shirt and I got a mug that reads Teacher of All Things. Our last activity there was to see the Horror Movie Makeup Show; Katie was thrilled, and the rest of us were exhausted but happy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Tuesday was the day we finally got to go to Disney World!!! I think we walked all over the Magic Kingdom twice. We got to enjoy a street parade and visit Tomorrowland and take in the Country Bears jamboree. The Monsters' Inc. Laugh Floor comedy show was priceless! We rode Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, the Haunted Mansion, and lots of stuff. Emily was floating on cloud nine because we got to see and take pictures with Elsa and Anna and Cinderella and Rapunzel!!! She was almost crying with all the excitement and emotion! On the way out, I finally talked my family into going into the Hall of Presidents. The show centers on great moments in American history and how our nation's leaders affected our country's growth. At the end, the curtain lifted to display all 43 American presidents---wax figures and fully animated. What an awesome presentation! We left before the final fireworks display, but we were fully satisfied with our Disney experience! :-) </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Katie, our second oldest, graduates in a week's time. I can't believe Chad and I are going to have only three still in school. She is more than ready to be done with school for a while! She's looking for a steady job so that she can put money aside while deciding exactly which course of study to pursue. Katie's really interested in (and good at) makeup and style, so she'd like to take courses in that field and maybe even get a job at a makeup or beauty supply store. Please pray for her as she makes these big choices about her future.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale continues to put effort into his exercises each day. I think, now that he's seen a difference in his ability to get around with daily exercise versus no exercise, he's more willing to exert himself. He's been working hard at finishing up each subject's PACES so that he can officially take the summer off. Praise the Lord, he's managed, with the help of a wonderful supervisor, to do two years of English in one year and complete a biology course and social studies course. This, along with Bible class and math, has made Dale's school year quite busy. There were times a couple of months ago that I think he just wanted to quit. That's another reason I was so thankful for our vacation time. Dale worked hard during Spring Break so that he could actually relax and have fun on our vacation. I'm so proud of his hard work and don't-quit attitude! Next year he'll be a junior and (hopefully) have a little bit lighter class schedule.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Those of you who have taught school know how much teachers look forward to having the summer off. I realize parents are left to entertain their youngsters instead of shipping them off to school each day---and that's not always easy! But, as much as I love teaching and love my students, I definitely need some time off to breathe and gather my patience again, ready for the next group of students. I'm so glad we finish up next week!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I hope each of you have a wonderful summer. Whether you have big plans to get away for a while or just stay home and tackle all those "some day" jobs, use this time to draw closer to our Lord. Remember to talk to Him each day and read His Word. Stay faithful to church, even on vacation. Find ways to help others whenever someone in need crosses your path. Make our Heavenly Father smile every time He thinks of you.....which is always. God bless you a whole bunch!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I Thessalonians 5: 15-18 "See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-22106468892461752772015-04-15T17:21:00.001-07:002015-04-15T17:21:18.981-07:00It's finally here!<span style="font-size: large;">We are so excited!!! Tomorrow we leave, bright and early, for our big family vacation! We have been looking forward to this for months, planning for it for weeks, and stressing about it for days now. :-) The kids have worked ahead in their school books; Chad has taken off work; I've arranged for a substitute; and Amanda has flown in from California. We've found someone to watch our dog; we've checked in for our flight; and we've already put out our garbage and recycling bins. We are so ready to go to Florida!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We are so thankful to the Sunshine Foundation and their wonderful donors for providing this amazing vacation opportunity for our family. I realize this all came about because of Dale's accident nearly four years ago, and, given the choice, I would never choose to have my son drown just to get a chance to go to Disney World. But the Sunshine Foundation is the kind of organization that steps in when life doesn't go as planned and does what they can to help alleviate the everyday stress of dealing with the aftereffects. They pledged a long time ago to help the chronically ill, the tragically injured, and even the abused to get a glimmer of hope and light by giving them a chance to get away from their everyday lives and make some fun memories to carry them through the days and years ahead. They put together fundraisers and websites to encourage donors to give generously so that people like us can benefit with a much-needed vacation. There is no way we can properly express the depth of our gratitude to the people of the Sunshine Foundation for their generosity and compassion. Without them, this would not be possible.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We have tried to plan our days to get the optimum fun out of our vacation, but it is inevitable that we will leave something undone or not have time for some activity. If, after our vacation, you hear us talking about the super fun things we did, PLEASE do not say anything like, "Oh, you </span> <span style="font-size: large;">should have done ____________. You really missed out!" Lol! We'll be lucky to get out of Florida alive! Chad's mom and stepdad live about thirty minutes from where we'll be staying, so we'll get to spend some time with family while we're there. Plus, we get to be a part of the Sunshine Foundation's Dream Village 25th Anniversary celebration. What a blessing!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But, the real reason we're so excited is that it is obvious that you all have been praying for our son, Dale. In my last post, I talked about his anger at God and his lack of desire to exercise or improve his outlook. People have prayed and encouraged; they have talked to us and to Dale. Chad and I have spent more time praying for and talking to our son, and he's been very open and honest with us. And he's begun putting effort into his exercise program each day!!! Katie put together a good routine for Dale, and he's been doing his exercises regularly without (much) complaint. These are exercises designed to improve his muscle tone and balance, which in turn improves his confidence and attitude. He even asked if he could go out on teen soulwinning again! We're still working out the details for that one, but I'm excited that he's wanting to go. I'm still praying for Dale's spiritual health, that he will be willing to let go of his anger and trust that God still has a plan for his life. But, for now, I'm just thankful that Dale is taking an interest in his own life and welfare and not just sitting around playing video games and stagnating. We all feel relieved and pleased and less angry at Dale, and, what's more, we are more inclined to be encouraging and helpful with him when he's having a shaky day. Thank you to everyone who has prayed along with us for this wonderful step forward. We see the results of the prayers of God's people and cannot thank you enough!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Gotta go---we need to finish packing for our trip! God bless you!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Psalm 146: 1-2 "Praise ye the LORD. Praise the LORD, O my soul. While I live will I praise the LORD: I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being."</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-92027919486011599362015-03-05T17:21:00.002-08:002015-03-05T17:21:59.960-08:00Have you ever been mad at God?<span style="font-size: large;">Wellll, my husband and I found something out this week. We've been encouraging/prodding/chivvying Dale for months to do his daily exercises, work harder, try harder to walk properly. All that seems to do is make us hoarse and upset. Dale hasn't responded like we want him to; it seems like he's just given up. Tuesday night we found out why.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale told us he's mad at God. Downright angry, in fact. He said he's mad that God would let him drown, that God chose to let him live but not have a life. He feels cheated by God out of even a chance to grow up and have a normal life. He's grateful that God chose to spare his life and he's not upset that God chose to perform such a great miracle, but he wishes someone else could be the recipient because, to his mind, he got shortchanged. He didn't recover fully---although he's gone much farther than the doctors have said they've ever seen anyone with Dale's medical history go. He isn't able to plan for the future, like college or dating or becoming what he once dreamed of becoming. He can't do so much like go on some of our teen activities or go out with teen soulwinning or learn to drive a car or get a job because he isn't strong enough or steady enough to keep from falling or shaking---or seizing. He can't even walk to the bathroom any more by himself because he stopped trying to exercise his muscles and so lost a lot of strength that helped keep him steady. He doesn't understand why God allowed this to happen to him, and he doesn't want to even try to live the life God has set before him now until he gets some answers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And I understand exactly what he's feeling. Because I agree.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">WHY did God allow our son to drown? WHY didn't someone see him before it was too late? WHY did the other boy in distress that day get rescued but not Dale? WHY did it take so long to find his body? WHY couldn't the rescue workers get his heart going again quickly? WHY wouldn't his lungs work properly? WHY wasn't the youth group at a beach closer to home? WHY did God wait until we had lost all hope before He performed His miracle? WHY couldn't God just let Dale wake up......and sit up and stand up and walk around and be all normal again? WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE OUR SON???</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I really hate that three-letter word. WHY rarely gets a real answer. A full explanation of events. Especially when we are addressing the question to God Almighty. So much of faith rests in that troubling, pain-filled, swirling gray pea-soup-thick fog of doubt and uncertainty that chokes our throat with the utterance of the word WHY. I have read the Bible over and over in futile efforts to determine WHY. I have prayed endlessly in vain attempts to glean more information as to the reason behind the tragedy. I've asked pointless, anguished questions like "Weren't we obeying enough?" and "Why would You do this when we were serving You?" and "Don't You love us, God?" I've listened to sermons and read prayer letters and perused magazine articles and done devotions and spent hours deep in conversation with my husband and family, all dedicated to this all-encompassing, emotion-filled, heart-wrenching agony of soul wrapped up in one single syllable---WHY?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I didn't find out the answer. God didn't magically reveal His will to me in a dream as in Bible times. He didn't have someone give me a word of knowledge. I didn't listen to a sermon and realize, "Oh, now I know!" I didn't spend hours in prayer and fasting and walk out of my prayer closet with the divine knowledge of God's purpose having been revealed to me. I'm still just as much in the dark as to God's ultimate plan for Dale and our family as I was, apparently, before Dale's accident. I still don't know WHY God allowed him to drown or WHY God didn't heal him fully right away or WHY God deliberately placed this burden on our family or WHY we can't make spur-of-the-moment plans but always have to accommodate Dale or WHY God thinks we have some kind of super strength to bear up under this hardship or WHY we have to wait until we get to Heaven to understand His plan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But......</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I do know I trust God implicitly. I do know He embodies good, right, and truth. I do know He is the personification of love. I do know that, though I cannot see the future, He does. I do know that, though I may not have the strength to face the daily struggles, He does. I do know that, though I may not have the courage to face the vast unknown, He knows already. I do know that the One Who was willing to sacrifice His Son for my eternal soul would never maliciously harm me or my loved ones. I do know that the One Who cares about each common sparrow that may fall cares even more about my son when he falls. I do know that the One Who loves me so much He sent His Son to Calvary so that my eternal future would be secure would not willfully and cruelly withhold a possible future from my son without purpose. I do know that I TRUST GOD, no matter what.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now to help Dale see that. I don't think he'll remain mad at God forever. But he's going to need a lot of prayer and guidance to find peace about this. Dale did lose a lot in the ocean that day: confidence, physical ability, brain capacity, a future brimming with possibilities. I don't want him to lose his God too. He's stated that he loves the God before the accident; now he just has to realize that the God after the accident is the same God. Please pray with us that Dale will understand---or, better yet, trust. Our God can do anything.....which means He can reach a teenage boy's heart and help him through a terrible conflict of soul. Our God can do it, and our son is worth it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ephesians 3:16 - 19 "That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God."</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-47526033056735543512015-01-31T12:23:00.002-08:002015-01-31T12:23:48.528-08:00God's mercies are new every morning.<span style="font-size: large;">Has it really been a whole month since the new year started? How's this year been for you so far? Did you stick to your New Year's resolutions as planned, or have those fallen by the wayside already? Have you already messed up in your big plans like reading the Bible through in a year or spending more time with family or keeping to a budget?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Life is full of backward stumbles and re-dos. Just as sure as the sun comes up each morning (and for those of us in Washington state, we just have to believe that it really does!), we are going to make some mistake(s) every day. Every single day. Some of these mistakes will have life-altering results and some will just make us temporarily miserable. But here's the good news: ALL of our mistakes are covered by Jesus' blood. All of our misakes and failures and sins and regrets have already been paid for <u><em><strong>and</strong></em></u> <u><em><strong>forgiven</strong></em></u> through the sacrifice Jesus made on Calvary. When we accept the fact that we are sinners, that sin has a penalty and the penalty is death, and that Jesus paid our penalty with His death on the cross, we have just opened ourselves up not only to Heaven for all eternity but also for daily strength, love, mercy, and forgiveness. This doesn't give us a license to sin, but it does free us from the crushing guilt and depression that sinful behavior brings. Even just simple mistakes like not eating right or speeding while driving don't have to control us; these things can be dealt with and overcome because we have God on our side! What a wonderful thought! Praise the Lord!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well, Dale's neurology appointment had to be rescheduled for the middle of February. This works better for our schedule since we'll have that week off school. He's been a little better about doing his exercises---but not nearly good enough! Please pray for our son that he will see the need to exercise regularly. Dale feels like, "Why should I put forth all the effort to walk when sitting in a wheelchair is so much easier?" He doesn't realize that, once he stops trying to walk, his brain will lose control of his body, setting off a chain reaction of falls, jerking limbs, and seizures. Chad and I have tried to explain this to him, but so far Dale thinks we're overstating facts. Dale has gotten used to having people do things for him, and he has to get out of the habit of thinking that that is his right. It's a daily battle, I'm afraid; some days he wins, and some days I win! We'll see whose will is stronger.....</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Katie and I started a new health plan this year. We joined the 8 Week FIT Challenge, and already we have seen results! Our "rules" are simply basic good-health guidelines: no eating after 9 p. m., drink 64 ounces of water daily, eat 3 cups of veggies daily, eat half a cup of fresh or frozen fruit daily, exercise 45 minutes daily (whatever kind of exercise you wish), log food and water intake plus exercise into My Fitness Pal, and eat no sugar (just maple syrup, honey, coconut sugar, or stevia). Tomorrow marks the end of the fourth week, and Katie and I are feeling great! We've lost weight; we've gained muscle tone; we've slowly but steadily weaned ourselved off sugar and replaced our cravings with healthy options. I am so thankful for this group! The support of ladies who are struggling with the same health issues (weight loss, exercise loathings, junk food cravings) is invaluable, and working together toward a common goal has helped us feel that we're not alone in our health journey. Plus, my husband has been ultra supportive, I'm already getting compliments on my weight loss, and I feel better than I have in years. The challenge only goes for eight weeks (with prizes for incentive value), but Katie and I are already talking about making alot of these changes permanent. I thank God daily for Denise Minge, who encouraged me to join the group, and other ladies at Bethel (LaDawn Rau, Darlene Minge, Rath Sears) who supported me in my decision to gain better health. What a blessing and encouragement we have all been to each other!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We're making plans for April! That's when we get to go on our dream vacation. I already have a substitute lined up for the week we'll be gone, and Amanda has purchased her plane tickets so she'll be able to go with us too. My kids are doing all right keeping their minds on schoolwork for now, but as the date approaches, I'm sure they'll be completely unteachable! We've had so many people tell us how excited they are for us to be able to go. Lots of folks have been praying with us and following Dale's story of recovery, and they know how much this vacation means to our family. Those of you with special needs children realize just how wonderful getting away from the routine and sometimes drudgery of everyday life will be. We are all looking forward to April!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Valentine's Day is coming, so be sure to say "I love you" to the important people in your lives. We need to see each day as the special gift from God that it is and appreciate our loved ones daily, not just once a year. We should love the way God loves. And, remember, God said "I love you" in the most incredible way possible:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">John 3: 16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-67110047645914223832014-12-31T23:25:00.001-08:002015-01-01T00:16:32.170-08:00New Year's Resolutions---love 'em or leave 'em?<span style="font-size: large;">Maybe it's just my personality type, but I hate making New Year's resolutions. I feel like I'm not only reviewing an entire year's worth of failures but also setting myself up for even more failures in the next year when---not if---I fail to keep up my new New Year's resolutions. So I'm faced with several options: I can avoid making any resolutions thereby avoiding breaking any; I can skip the resolution-making and go straight to the self-recrimination; or I can decide to make small, doable changes so that I get to see progress without feeling like I'm overhauling my entire life (which may not be a bad idea.....). Hmmm---I think I'll try the latter. There's always time for options #1 and #2 later.....if I fail! Lol!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As much as I <strong><em><u>HATE </u></em></strong>change, I realize that life is all about changing. Can you imagine what we'd look like if we never changed hair styles or clothing styles? (Some of us just need look in the mirror!) What if we chose one boyfriend/girlfriend and never, ever changed that? I can't see myself married to the first childhood crush I had. That's just plain weird. How about changing cars....or couches....or toothbrushes? Change is inevitable. Yes, I detest that statement too. But, truly, change is necessary because change involves the most basic and blessed of God's gifts to mankind: free will. Change allows us to make mistakes (and I've made some doozies), learn from those mistakes (hopefully), and change our initial decision into something better. Change is God's way of reminding us (1) we're not perfect, (2) we should keep striving to better ourselves, and (3) we need God's wisdom to make better choices. This applies to every single aspect of our lives whether clothing, hair, devotions, child rearing, education, career, temper, worship, or even faith. We should definitely always be searching the Scriptures to ensure our lives are in accordance with God's Word and, if they're not, then change.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You've heard the definition of insanity, right? Insanity is continuing to do the same wrong thing over and over, yet expect different results. If we want to become more like Christ, we have to read about Him and then follow His example---not just wish for it or "pray about it." If we want to change our appearance, we need to shop for better clothes or shoes or change our hairstyle. If we want to be healthier, we have to actually throw out the bad stuff and start buying/eating the good stuff. We also have to stop making excuses for eating poorly, not exercising, and just sitting around. If we want to be more patient or kind or less angry, we need to change our response to stressful situations. This begins by deliberately biting back things that shouldn't be said and choosing not to take offense at things that are said to us. Yeah, I know that's hard. I "like" a lot of commentary on facebook that I would never actually say out loud to people! If we want to be better, we must change. I teach my children and my students: We cannot change the way someone else is talking or acting; we can only change our response to them. The first step is taking everything to God in prayer, but many people stop there. The second step is to begin making those little changes to yourself and your behavior. Once the initial changes are made, it's easier to build on that new, better foundation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Enough preaching! Ha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">2014 has been an interesting year for us. I've shared many of our triumphs (and a few failures) with you in this blog, but, as I'm sure you can relate, some are too personal to share. (That's a polite way of saying they're none of your business!) However, we had a BIG blessing come our way just a month ago. I had to wait to share this on the blog because we just told our kids about on Christmas Day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">About nine months or so after Dale's accident, his physical therapist told us about a foundation that might be interested in doing something for Dale and our family. She had already called the Make-A-Wish Foundation but was told we wouldn't qualify for any wish-granting because Dale's condition wasn't terminal. Praise the Lord! But they referred her to the Sunshine Foundation, a non-profit organization that makes "dreams" come true for children who've been through a traumatic event, children who are living with a debilitating disease, or even abused children once they've been taken out of the abusive situation. She asked me if I wanted her to submit Dale's name, and Chad and I agreed. About four months later, we received a call from the Sunshine Foundation, stating that they would love to make Dale's "dream" come true! We were so excited!!! Dale had said he would love to go to Legoland and Disneyworld, and the very helpful people at the Sunshine Foundation gave us lots of information about how this would work and where we would stay, but they warned us it might take a year or so before the donations would be in place to make Dale's "dream" come true. After all, there were a lot of children on the list before Dale! (This was a little over a year after Dale's accident.) So we waited......and waited......and waited. Chad even called and was told that they were still getting donations together but that it was taking a bit longer than they had thought. Basically, we gave up hope. We had initially talked constantly about the trip and how fun it would be and how wonderful it was. But, as time went by, we stopped thinking it could happen any day and began thinking it might happen some day. And then we began thinking it might never happen, and that led to Dad and Mom helping the kids be thankful for what we already had---a brother who wasn't dead!---and be glad there were other families who got "dreams" because really they needed them more. I mean, Dale was doing all right and we had so many blessings from God already. You follow my thinking?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Two days before Thanksgiving, my cell phone rang in the middle of school. It was on the charger, and I had to rush around my TA's desk to get to the plugged-in phone. When I answered, Maryanne from the Sunshine Foundation was there, telling me that she had some dates to run by me from which to choose for Dale's dream! I stood there, in the back of my classroom, students busy all around me, in shock! I had stopped truly believing our turn would come and was now totally unprepared for the big event. ***Side note: isn't that how we view heaven and the rapture sometimes? Like it's some "dream" that would be wonderful if it were true but not like we truly believe it could happen any moment! Oh, may we not be caught unprepared for Jesus' return!*** I scribbled down the dates and data she was giving me---God bless her for her patience with me!---and thanked her over and over. The look on my husband's face when I told him the news was glorious to see! We put our heads together and chose the dates (April 16 - 22) and then decided to wait to tell the kids until Christmas. We had to tell Chad's mom who lives in the Florida area because we'll get to see her when we go, and we told Amanda who is in California so she could get the time off and go with us. It's been soooo hard not telling everybody until we got to tell our kids! I had to tell my boss, the school principal, so I could get that time off; he walked out grinning at Katie like "I know something you don't know!" Was that hard trying to pass that meeting off like we were just talking about school stuff! We'll get more information in the next few weeks about our trip, but we are all so excited about finally getting to go. Now to keep everyone's feet on the ground until April......</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dale has his next neurology appointment on January 5th. This is not only the day we go back to school after Christmas break, but it is also the day before Dale's 16th birthday. I remember sitting in the hospital room by his bedside and wondering if he would ever have another birthday. Here he is 3 and 1/2 years later, God's living miracle! We got Dale an 8-pound exercise ball as one of his Christmas presents; he's already been incorporating it into his supposed-to-be-daily exercise routine. Sitting around for two weeks on break has not helped his stability! Plus, he's excited about going on the trip and doesn't want to be limited by shakiness or weakness, so I think he'll be more willing to put some effort into exercising in the next few months. Me too, for that matter!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">God bless each of you in this brand new year. Let's use this new time to reaffirm our trust in our Saviour, to put off the old man and put on the new, to show our love to God and each other, and to make better choices than we did this time last year. Have a wonderful 2015!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">II Corinthians 5: 17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-41940565984962828042014-11-26T10:06:00.002-08:002014-11-26T10:06:41.093-08:00Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!<span style="font-size: large;">Considering the length of time that stretches between posts here, I might better say "Happy Holidays" to cover them all, in case I forget to update the blog and miss one! Seriously……</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This school year has been especially busy for each of us. I have more students in my class than I have ever taught at one time before; Katie is growing steadily more excited (and fearful) about completing high school and starting the next chapter in her life; Dale is working hard to get caught up in some subjects and successfully master others; Ashley is enjoying volleyball season---with a little school work thrown in; Emily is slowly coming to the realization that the same woman who is a loving mother at home is quite a strict taskmaster in the classroom; and Chad hardly sees any of us!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We're very thankful for this short break for many different reasons. Of course, we all like time off, but this really gives us a chance to reconnect as a family. The kids are all home---no sports, no sleepovers (that we know of yet!), no extra-curricular activities. Chad and I actually got to go out last night for the first time in what seems like ages. We had such a good time just talking without being interrupted or overheard by the children! We laughed and loved and listened and loved some more. It's good to re-fall in love with your spouse once in a while. The girls were baby-sitting some younguns at our house while we were out; boy, were they exhausted once the little ones left! It's been a while since we had toddlers in the home, and they require a lot of energy. Plus, for some reason, the little girls were afraid of our dog……our little mop-rag of a dog. The cutest thing was walking in the front door and seeing the three-year-old sitting on Dale's lap on the couch!!! :-D</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Many people at this time of year commit to challenges on Facebook or wherever, usually something titled "30 Days of Thankfulness." I applaud the idea; we all need to diligently be more thankful for all God does for us and all we have. I, however, did not take the challenge because I know me---I would forget to post on some day or another, and then I would feel frustrated about not fully finishing the challenge, and then I would get stressed trying to remember to not skip another day, plus I would have to keep rechecking my list to make sure I did not repeat some item for which I am thankful…….the whole thing would blow up! I would go from being thankful to grumbling under my breath about having to be thankful! Anybody else like that? So I decided to just list some things here for which I am thankful. (I feel like I should include one of those fancy lawyer clauses that states: the items listed here are in no way excluding or limited to the above-mentioned items, blah, blah, blah. You know---in case I leave out something obvious. Just fill it in mentally!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My God. His love for me regardless and in spite of me. My husband. His love for me regardless and in spite of me. I hit the jackpot when I married him. My children. God must have thought I would be a good mother since He gave me so many, but I have often been tempted to doubt His all-pervailing wisdom in this matter! My sweet oldest, Amanda. I love you, baby, to the ends of the earth and back. Your beauty comes from within and your warm heart draws everyone close. My beautiful second, Katie. You are so much like me, it's scary. I love the way you are discovering yourself and how you find humor in most situations. I love you so much, sweetheart. My incredible son, Dale. Who knows who you might have been if the accident had not happened. (You probably would have been in a lot more trouble!!!) I love seeing who you are becoming now, how you are learning to work with what you have, how you are steadily pursuing that once-thought-elusive academic goal of graduating high school, how your sense of humor has stayed intact. I love you, son, more than I can say. My darling fourth, Ashley. You are so your own person! I love your laughter, your craziness, your beauty, your love, your zest for life. I love, simply, you. My precious fifth, Emily Rose. You grow each day and amaze us in new ways always. You are bright, loving, goofy, half princess and half crazy girl, special, and wonderful. I love you, dear heart. My church. I managed not to cry until I got to this line. You are my heart, my home. You have done so much for me and my family; you have stood with us when we needed support; you have wrapped us in prayers when we needed that blanket of love; you have helped us rear our children; you have taught us so very much. I love each member, each service, each moment of time we spend together. My godly upbringing. My parents instilled in me Christian values and godly principles by their teachings, their service, and their lives. These have stayed with me throughout my life, guiding my path and those of my children, showing me the way when life grew dark, helping me become who I am today. I love you both very much. My friends and family. I've already listed some of you, but I mean to include all of you, near or far away. Whether you are someone I see every day or someone I just reconnected with on Facebook, I value each friendship and look forward to interacting with you each time. Your lives, your input, your busy schedules help me keep my life in perspective. My country. God bless America, now and always. She has certainly gone off track from the direction her founding fathers laid out, but there is still hope. We Christians need to pray for her daily, stand up for what is right, and speak out against the wrong. I love my country and am so thankful to have been born an American. My job. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy being a teacher! I look forward to each day, to teaching different subjects, to seeing my students, to watching for the "aha" look on their faces when they finally get a concept, to helping them grow as young people. I love my students. I love each class that comes through my door. My salvation. I know, this shouldn't be this far down the list. I know God loves everyone and wants everyone to be saved, but the fact that He loves ME and sent His Son to die for ME is astounding. If I were not saved, who knows where I would be today. Thank You, Lord, for saving my soul.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There are so many other things for which I am thankful that this blog would need to be a mile long to include everything! One last thing: I am thankful for you, the readers. You have kept up with this blog; you have prayed endlessly for my family; you have commented on occasion, letting us know you are praying for us or leaving some bit of advice for us to try; you have sent us Christmas cards and letters at different times of the year just to say hello; you have even gone out of your way to be a blessing by giving us gifts or dinner gift cards or other things you knew we'd appreciate. You have kept reminding us day after day, week after week, year after year, that we are not alone, that God has prayer warriors out there who bring Dale before His throne every day, that there are others who weep and pray and rejoice with us through ups and downs. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for being part of our lives. You mean so much to us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">God bless each of you and Happy Thanksgiving!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Job 2: 9 "Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the LORD hath wrought this?"</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-17704540238928838122014-10-24T14:46:00.000-07:002014-10-24T14:46:41.595-07:00Hooray for fall!<span style="font-size: large;">You can't look out the window and see these beautiful autumn colors and not know there is a God is Heaven Who cares about every detail of our lives. If God put so much effort into painting each sunrise and sunset, coloring our world so brilliantly, allowing the leaves to show their true colors each fall---inanimate objects that can never return His love, His interest in and passion for us must be overwhelming. I'm so glad I know that my God loves me, that He created me especially for His purpose, and that He chooses each day to pay close attention to my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our school took their annual field trip to the Pumpkin Patch yesterday. I absolutely <u>dread</u> these trips. I'm not kidding! I stress about them for two weeks ahead of time, freak out on the day of, and come home utterly drained of energy. But I always come back with a deeper thankfulness for God's wondrous creation. I am a homebody. VERY much so. Given the choice, I will sit at home all day and never go anywhere. Going out to the store or church or school is expected and, considering the frequency with which I make those trips, tolerated. But going 1 1/2 hours away and having to stay gone for six hours or more and being "forced" to be outdoors for nearly that entire stretch of time is akin to torture! But, as usual, I enjoyed our Pumpkin Patch time. I get a chance to see gorgeous colors of trees, leaves, and gardens; I get to breathe fresh air for more than just the time it takes me to walk from the car to the building; I get to enjoy time off from teaching while spending fun time with my class.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For the last few years, I've been able to divvy up my students among volunteer parent chaperones, thus leaving me free to take Dale around. This year, because it was slated to really rain (here in Washington state, we're accustomed to regular rain but severe rainstorms get a label of their own!) and last year taught me better, we borrowed a wheel chair for Dale. This made walking around so much easier! We got to walk around just about everywhere and then spent some time in the coffee shop drinking hot cocoa. Then, I discovered something that made me feel a lot more at home: a country store! We came to this same Pumpkin Patch last year, but I had no idea there was more to it. Dale and I and some goofy teenage girls walked over to the farmers' market and enjoyed looking at all the home-canned salsa and fruits and jams. There was a restaurant attached that sold wonderful mini pies, so I got my husband a strawberry-rhubarb pie which he loved. Then there was a country gift store with homemade stuff for sale. Boy, would I have loved to have had about a hundred dollars!! This "shopping" made me feel less jittery about being out and away from home and helped to pass the time until we needed to load the buses and head back to school.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Speaking of school, we just finished our first quarter. (Today is actually an in-service day for us teachers, but I've already update grades and attendance and computed honor roll averages; so I have some time to update the blog!) I am so excited to be able to say all eighteen of my students made A or B honor roll this quarter!!! I may not be able to say that the rest of the year, so I made sure to say it now! Plus, each of my own children is doing well in school. Ashley has a subject or two in which she could improve, but that is due to lack of studying.....which can easily be remedied. Emily is doing well; Katie is working hard but getting good grades. The best report is Dale: He's been improving in his PACEs to the point that he doesn't need as much help finding answers and taking tests. He is averaging (I think) a steady C in his classes! Praise the Lord!!! He doesn't require quite so much teacher hovering as last year, which means he's either matured a bit more and decided to do better himself or he's just getting the material better. He's taking Algebra I this year and consistently doing well; his English and science PACEs show improvement too. What a blessing!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I can't help but smile when I think of God's continued miracle in my son. We were told that the biggest leaps of healing would come in the first six months after the accident. The next six months would then show big improvements as well, and even the following six months (up to 18 months out) would show good progress. But, after that, Dale was supposed to be pretty much done with the healing/progress/improvements; 18 months after his accident, we would have to start taking a hard look at what he could no longer do and what we would need to help him make adjustments for. Yet, here we are at three years after his drowning, and God is continuing to show that He as the Creator can do what medical science deems impossible. Dale is thriving in his school work, beyond what we believed he could ever again. His attentiveness, his learning, his comprehension, and mostly his memory have all improved versus last school year. Even physically Dale surprises us. During the last hour of the school day Wednesday, Dale was sitting in the borrowed wheel chair (long story.....short version: the alarm kept going off and it was easier to keep Dale in the wheel chair that keep getting him in and out of it to exit the building!) and---get this---shooting hoops. Real basketball hoops! According to his sisters (who were almost in tears), Dale was making about 1 in 6 shots. Not bad, huh? I had no idea he could make shots from a seated position. This is something we will have to explore in more depth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">All this to say, our God is simply awesome. Just when we think we've reached the limit of His love/forgiveness/power/ability, He shows us something new. Never give up on God because He's far greater than we could ever imagine. He has depths we don't even know we should try to plumb.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Psalm 73: 24 - 48 "Thou shalt guide me with Thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but Thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside Thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. For, lo, they that are far from Thee shall perish: Thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from Thee. But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works."</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1005582728855125643.post-11873280108717287042014-09-14T23:53:00.001-07:002014-09-14T23:53:53.797-07:00Crazy start to our school year!<span style="font-size: large;">There's no other way to describe it but crazy. Then again, most everything related to our family could be described as crazy!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We took a few mini vacations this summer, the latest being the week before school started. This also happened to be the week of Teacher Orientation, which meant that I missed a couple of much-needed prep days. I had gone in for a couple of half days to find out how many students were on my roster and see if I needed more desks/chairs. Turns out, I had 17 students signed up! Seventeen!!! The most I'd ever had in one class before was 11 students! Katie and I spent some time getting extra desks and chairs out of the storage container, then snagging desks and chairs from other classrooms too. Finally, I had 17 desks and chairs to fit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then, of course, I had another student sign up. Now I had to find another desk and chair! And I was getting uptight because I didn't have any decorations on the walls. And I hadn't put together any lesson plans for the first few weeks of school. And I still needed to put nameplates on the students' desks. And then I had a student withdraw but then got a new student added. And, and, and! I was getting more stressed as the time ticked down to the start of school. </span><span style="font-size: large;">Thank God for my Katie and Ashley who helped me decorate the classroom, pull out quizzes and tests for the first few subjects, track down last-minute desks and chairs, and generally did anything I asked of them! What a blessing those two have been!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Of course, getting ready to start school and actually conducting a class with a million students are two different things. I found myself in the first two weeks getting farther and farther behind in my lesson plans. We didn't have science for nearly a week! Even with Katie as my teacher's assistant, there was a mountain of grading to do each day, and it seemed like we finished each day with a line of students at my desk so I could check their homework slips while parents lined up outside the door to collect their children. At least five times each day I found myself repeating the mantra, "I can't keep doing this. I've got to find a better way."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thank God for procedures and routines! It took a lot of discipline on my part and tons of prayer, but by the middle of the third week of school, things finally jelled. By now, the students knew what to do as soon as they entered the classrom; they knew how to set up their papers; they knew what classwork they could start on without waiting for me to teach that subject. We finished reviewing the cursive alphabet which meant I could assign each day's work for the students to do on their own. We even had a forty-minute block after art on Thursday in which to catch up on science! I had to shift the first science test (scheduled originally for last Friday) to tomorrow, but, other than that, we are all caught up. Praise the Lord!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our children seem to be having a good start to the school year as well. Amanda is taking a break from classes right now. She moved out of the dorms and into the house of a friend and her family; the mom instantly began treating her like one of her own kids! Mandie might be able to take some classes in the spring, but until then she'll work and get caught up on bills. Katie, being a senior this year, is excited to only have a few classes, giving her extra time to work with me and help other teachers as well. Ashley is enjoying no longer being a lowly seventh grader; she's gotten pretty good grades so far. Emily has the best teacher in the whole world this year.....me! I am excited to have my youngest in my class. She's done a great job, too, of being a student in my class, not my daughter; she even remembers to call me "Mrs. Ostrander" instead of "Mom." And Dale is doing really well. He's gotten good grades on quizzes and tests so far and seems to be thriving at his PACE work. Again, praise the Lord!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The end of July, we were able to get in to see Dale's neurologist. Chad got to go this time too. As always, the doctor was amazed at Dale's condition. We always ask, "What comes next? What can we expect?" And he always answers, "I really couldn't tell you.....we just don't get many cases like Dale's!" Dale continues to be a miracle case, but we know it's all God. The doctor ordered another EEG since the last one on record was from December 2011. That was scheduled for the second week of August, and it went well. When the doctor got the results, he told us the EEG was clean---no sign of seizure activity. So the doctor told us to start backing Dale off his anti-seizure meds. We did this for about four weeks with no sign of difficulty and then BAM! Out of the blue, Dale had a seizure. Right at the end of school Wednesday. His poor teacher was scared half to death! I'm so thankful she was with him and that there were no other students in the room at the time. She stayed with Dale until the seizure ended and then got help. From her report, it seems like the seizure was of normal length and with normal occurrences (arms drawn up---posturing; abnormal breathing---he sounds like he's pulling in short, sharp gasps; inability to talk). Dale did bite his tongue in two places during the seizure, but he's fine now. Our preacher came and got me; by the time I got there, Dale had begun the loud crying that signifies he realizes he's coming out of a seizure and hates that it happened again. He told me later he was hoping the seizure was just a dream. It took a bit longer for him to regain the ability to hold his head up and such; but only a bit, and it had been a while since his body had dealt with a seizure, so I imagine he was extra drained from the experience. By the time we got home, Dale had regained the ability to walk, so he was able to get into the house just fine. I made sure he rested for a good while before resuming normal activities. He even went to church that night! He's shown no sign of adverse side effects since the seizure, and we're back to a regular dosage of pills. Life continues......</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This was an extra-long post, but it's been extra-long since the last one so there was more to tell. Thank you so much for each of your prayers. To anyone but the most hardhearted athiest, it is obvious that God not only cares about each of us but also knows what it best for us. Thank You, Lord, for Your blessings on our lives, even when we sin, even when we fail You, even when we're too busy doing our daily thing to even see Your marvelous hand at work. Thank You.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Isaiah 60: 19 - 20 "The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the LORD shall be unto thee an everlasting light, and thy God thy glory. Thy sun shall no more go down; neither shall thy moon withdraw itself: for the LORD shall be thine everlasting light, and the days of thy mourning shall be ended."</span>Prayers for Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12778673240865673897noreply@blogger.com2