It has been simply AGES since I've written. I realize my last blog entry was before last summer. Where in the world has the time gone? Our lives have been no busier than at any other time of the year. It would be nice to blame the stress of the season or our crazy schedules or sports practices and games for the lack of interest in blogging, but, to be honest, I just haven't felt like writing. Sometimes updating this blog feels like whitewashing our real lives, giving a condensed, cheery, not-quite-accurate-but-close-enough account of our family instead of the hard, bare, ofttimes dismal facts. Not to say we are miserable yet deliberately painting everything bright yellow---more like, we are an average family with average stress, average income, average problems, average accomplishments, and average lives. We got thrust into the limelight seven years ago, but we're not in that limelight now. Now we're just living, day by day, just like every other family on the planet.
So is there a need to keep this blog going? Is there a reason still? Am I making a valid contribution to social media? I mean, who really cares about what happens to a family that not many people still remember hearing about? Dale's accident was, in many ways, a lifetime ago. Why bother?
Because there are those who do remember those awful first few days, first few weeks. There are those who still can't look at waves crashing onto the shore without shuddering. There are those who remember staying up round the clock and praying for Dale, knowing we were doing the same by his hospital bedside. There are those who regularly sent us encouraging emails, letters, cards, gifts, dinner vouchers, anything that would help relieve our burden at that time. There are those who devoured every word posted on this blog and forwarded it to others to read. There are those who clipped every newspaper article about Dale and even recorded every news program mentioning him. They prayed, cried, loved, and believed right alongside us, and we are forever grateful. They are why we still write.
Because there are those who randomly search the internet and discover Dale's story. They are amazed anew at God's mercy and provision. They are brought closer to Him through this blog's regular account of Dale's progress and needs. They read and realize that a life spent serving God does not mean a life of ease; a life given to God does not equal a life without worry or fear or burden. A life with God means having Someone to turn to when the worry hovers, when the fear threatens, when the burden chokes. They read Dale's story and thank God for the well-being of their own children. They have a greater desire to help others because of the testimony of so many people around the world who responded when we needed help. They are why we still write.
Because there are those who need to know that they are not the only ones facing difficulties. They are not the only family struggling with daily doubt and care and questions and stress. They are not alone in wondering why life has to be so hard. And, let's face it: life is hard. There are not enough adjectives in the dictionary to fully describe just how hard life is. For our family, we struggle every day with not hurling angry words at Dale when helping him lurch back and forth to the bathroom, knowing that a great part of his physical limitations are of his own doing. We struggle with having to always limit our family plans to something that can accommodate him; just going to the mall requires special thought and planning. We live on high alert, waiting for the next thump that means Dale has fallen or cry of dismay that means he's knocked his drink over. It's similar to having a toddler in the house: he's old enough to do some things for himself, but there's still so much that we have to do for him. It's frustrating to have to think for him because he doesn't plan ahead, and it's annoying for him to insist he's right when we know he's not remembering things correctly because his memory is very bad. And that's not all that's hard about life. There's doctor bills and school assignments and job stress and family squabbles and upcoming life changes and shopping trips and church functions and everything else that makes life stressful and wonderful and challenging and crazy. There are those who need to look at our life to realize that they are not the only ones who struggle. There are those who need to be able to compare our difficulties with their own---and thank God for their own! They are why we still write.
There are those who are still learning from our example. Now, I'm not saying our situation is some perfect demonstration of God working His purpose through a godly family. Trust me: we are not angels; we are not sitting around, our hands folded piously in prayer, with shining golden halos floating above our heads. I believe we are an ordinary family; God chose to allow an unthinkable tragedy to occur to us and was honored by not just our response but that of people around us. I believe God intended to take Dale home that day, but He changed His plans because of the prayers and trust of His people, and allowed Dale to live. Our job now is to continue to honor and glorify Him through life's daily challenges. And, I have to admit: more than half the time we fail. We fail to glorify God through our struggles, our pain, our disappointments. We fail to fully trust God's plan for our daily lives. We "made it" through the big test, but we tend to do poorly on the day-to-day trials. There are those who, by asking us constantly how Dale is doing and what we expect for his future, are reminding us to trust our Father Who is never wrong. They keep us accountable for God's miracle. They are why we still write.
Because....I need it. I need this outlet for the pent-up emotions and complaints and thought processes. I need this place to think through my daily struggle to trust God fully. I need to pour out my hurts and desires and bitterness and fear, not just so I can be free of them, but so others can read how I feel, how my family is feeling, how we react, how we keep going. I appreciate the God-given talent for writing that I possess, and I honestly enjoy finding the exact words to use to express my inmost thoughts. I need this. I need this blog to share our family with whoever chooses to read. I am why I still write.
You see? God knows everything. He absolutely knows which category listed above we fall into, and He knows how to meet each need. He knows what He's doing. He's worth trusting. And life does, indeed, go on. It goes on after each victory, and it goes on after each defeat. It goes on after each joy, and it goes on after each sorrow. It goes on after each mountaintop, and it goes on after each valley. Life simply.....goes on. We have to choose to keep living. We can't freeze time when life is perfect, nor should we allow our lives to be frozen in a moment that's tragic. Our Father knows His plans for our future; if He had wanted us to stay locked in a specific time period, never progressing past that hurt, He would have frozen us there of His own accord. But He hasn't. And by choosing to continue living---and, specifically, living a life pleasing to Him, we are showing Him and those around us that we are still trusting God with our lives---past, present, future. That's why I choose to continue to write: I am showing my Father and each of you readers my decision to keep trusting God, no matter how easy or hard life is.
We can all benefit from this blog. I pray you find help, comfort, direction, and love whenever you follow along with us here.
Hebrews 13:16 "But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."
