Is it really the last day of June already? It feels like school just got out, and now we're facing the fact that tomorrow we'll be able to say, "School starts again next month!" That's just plain wrong. June should be extended for at least another two weeks to give those of us who've spent at least half of each morning in bed a chance to experience a full June day before we move on to July. Not that I'm admitting to being lazy, mind you. I'm just.....sympathizing......with those who may be. Yeah.
Anyway, we've had a relaxing first month off school. I keep telling myself ---and Chad--- that we'll get up earlier each day so as not to set ourselves up for trouble come the last week of August when we have to get up around 6:45 a.m. for school. Eventually I will fulfill that promise and be an early riser. Eventually. Like, when I'm in Heaven. Maybe. Please tell me they don't have alarm clocks in Heaven.
For those who have been praying with us about Dale's necessary meds and neurology appointments, the news is not good. Apparently everyone is "really sorry" about having us over a barrel, but there is no way around paying through the nose for a once-a-year doctor appointment. The insurance company said that's just the way the provider chooses to bill it, and the provider said that's what the insurance company's contract states. Either way, we have to meet our $600 deductible along with the $60 specialist fee in order for Dale to be seen by the neurologist. Dale usually sees this doctor in May, but we couldn't get an appointment until November. They put us on the wait list for cancellations, though. This visit will be especially important because the doctor will be able to see Dale's regression since the last visit. It just seems like Dale has given up trying to walk correctly and instead chooses to shuffle along, posture all out of whack, taking no more than four steps, and depending way too much on his right leg to do all the work. Chad and I and Katie and Ashley have tried and tried to get him to walk correctly, but Dale just ignores us for the most part. Once in a while, he walks correctly---good posture, right foot then left, shoulders back; these moments are few and far between, and, when we point out his errors, Dale makes excuses. Nothing is ever his fault, so there is nothing he can do to change it, see? Please pray that Dale will take more responsibility for his own actions and be desirous of achieving the goal of being more independent and walking better.
Every week we have people ask us, "How's Dale doing?" or "Is he getting better?" or "Have you considered _________?" Neither we nor the doctor think a cane or walker would help Dale right now; it would just give him one more thing to have to think about. He does not go to physical therapy because (a) Dale is only allotted six therapy appts. per year (and what good would that do?) and (b) these each cost $60 because they're specialty visits. We honestly have no idea if Dale will get better or worse or stay the same for the rest of his life. We appreciate everyone's prayers for him and our family and are by no means giving up; we just realize the need to think practically. My husband has a good job which pays our bills; our family is strong yet vulnerable; we all have "good" days and "bad" days. Just because you see Dale struggling to walk doesn't mean prayer doesn't work. Just because you see me or my family frustrated with Dale for not listening/trying doesn't mean we're mad at God over our situation. And......please don't take offense.......just because something has worked for you or your family member or your friend doesn't mean we're going to jump right up and buy it. Trust me---we've looked into numerous different products and therapies and supplements for Dale; there is simply not enough data/studies/time/money/patience for us to try everything that has been brought to our attention as the next medical or natural wonder. We are sincerely doing all we can to help Dale improve, and only God knows God's plan for Dale. It's easy (and more hopeful) to think that God has some grand and complex plan for Dale's life that will naturally require him to be fully healed to fulfill, but the truth is THIS may be God's plan for Dale. Sparing his life may have been the ultimate plan God had for Dale, and now it's time for someone else to be God's next miracle. Maybe God's plan is for us to trust Him day by day to give us the courage, strength, wisdom, and patience to live with His ultimate plan. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God's plan is best, and so I trust His choice in this matter just as I trust His choice in all other matters. I'm not giving up on God. I'm learning new ways to trust Him.
Have a safe and wonderful Independence Day! Remember to thank God for our country and our freedom. God bless each of you.
Psalm 150: 2, 6 "Praise Him for His mighty acts; praise Him according to His excellent greatness. Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD."
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