Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I think I'm losing my mind!

I'm going to stop apologizing for my erratically timed updates and just blog whenever I can!  My husband, poor guy, has been complaining in his kindhearted way that he never sees us because of our "busy schedule" and tonight, I agreed with him.  He should record this event and store it in our safe!

I want our family to be as involved as possible in our school and church functions, and I encourage our kids to volunteer for stuff as well as volunteer for stuff myself.  Usually we manage things just fine---I think.  But lately, it's been one crazy merry-go-round of chaos that has not been very beneficial to us, our family life, or anyone else, for that matter!  Church choir is now practicing on Saturday afternoons for cantata; we're in the middle of our Fall Campaign to push for extra visitors (That's been exciting!  Our first Sunday was our church's 39th anniversary with a big service in the morning, special guests including the man who started our church, and a fellowship after the evening service.  Last Sunday, we honored all First Responders---police, firefighters, emergency personnel, etc.  What a unique and special service that was!  This Sunday, we will honor Healthcare Workers, and our last Sunday will be......I forget.  Did I mention I've been working too hard?); at school, we just wrapped up our first quarter and are looking forward to our Patriotic Program next Thursday, volleyball/basketball games starting soon, and Thanksgiving; Chad's delivery routes got rearranged a bit, so I can't predict as well what time he'll get home on some days---this makes making time to spend with him a bit more challenging; and WE STILL MISS MANDIE!!!  She kept teasing me that I wouldn't be able to survive without her, and I'm afraid she was more right than she knew!  I depended on her so much at school to keep order in the classroom when I needed to step out, to keep up on daily grading of math lessons and such, and to decorate the room each month.  I leaned on her even more at home to help with the cooking, cleaning, refereeing between younger siblings, and other stuff.  It's been quite a wake-up call for Katie and me both to just how much responsibility Mandie had taken upon her shoulders.  (I have the sinking feeling that I will have finally adjusted to life without Mandie when it will be time for Katie to go to college.  Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!

I stood in our kitchen tonight, looked Chad square in the eye, and said, "I think I might be doing too much."  He just grinned, silently acknowledging my admittance that he was right all along.  But my question now is:  how do I stop doing so much without feeling like I'm backsliding?  I mean, every single activity that I or my family is involved in is in God's service, right?  I don't sing in the choir because I want fame or recognition but because I love to sing and I want to praise God.  My girls don't go out on teen soul winning because they want to spend extra time with their friends but because they want to invite folks to church and tell people about Jesus Christ.  By the way, Ashley led two people to the Lord this afternoon!  She and her friend stopped to talk to a group of four, and each got to lead two of them to Christ.  YES!  Back to the previous topic, how do I give something up without feeling like "If I don't do it, who will?"

Even while typing this, the Holy Spirit is speaking to my heart, telling me, "Do you consider yourself to be the only person who can work in your ministries and be effective?  If so, you are full of pride."  He's right, of course.  I am only an effective teacher, mother, choir member, bus worker as long as I lean on God for His strength and wisdom.  If I keep close to God and daily ask for His guidance, I will not take on more than I can handle and I will know which tasks to say "no" to.  I know that some jobs I have now will not be forever; I will need to listen to the Holy Spirit's reminder to wait on the Lord and serve in the areas He wants me to serve in.  Sure, our physical bodies get tired or sick, and we need a break or some healing time.  But when our minds and our spirits get tired or sick, many times it's because we've labeled ourselves indispensable or "Super Mom" and feel we have to accept any task mentioned in our hearing because simply no one else is able to do the job right.  Then, when we begin to fail due to lack of Spirit guidance, we think we are overworked and under appreciated, instead of realizing the simple truth that we bit off more than we could chew.  God, help me to trust You to provide just the tasks You know I need and forego the self-promoting desire to sign up for everything.  After all, only God is able to do everything!

Dale is doing his usual thing---walking some/falling some, doing well in some classes/failing others, being sweet to his mom/annoying his sisters, claiming his faulty memory as an excuse for not doing something/ refusing to admit he did do something because he does not remember doing it!  Yep, that about sums it up!  Dale is exactly who God wants him to be right now, and we thank God for our son.

Take care and God bless you!

Proverbs 3: 5 - 6  "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."


  1. And I thought I was overloaded Kirsten lol. With work during the day, homeless ministry downtown on Tuesdays, Choir on wednesdays and saturdays (our cantata too, I'm tenor), bible study thursdays, and of course Sundays (2 services) I feel like I'm short circuiting sometimes. But then I sit back and wonder about who did everything for me, including dying on the cross, and I get my energy back lol. And the holidays will be over, the cantata will be done, And I'll have some time to recharge, and get ready for the Easter cantata lol. Face it, we love what we are doing, and isn't it all that matters? I'm glad that Dale still remains the Energizer bunny, just keeps going and going and going, You are right that God has him right where he should be, and that is the greatest blessing of all. As always, thank you for all that you are doing for us with this blog, you all are always in my prayers. all my best, Eric

  2. I keep praying for Dale! Glad he is doing well in some classess...that is typical...I was like that and I didn't suffer what Dale has. So the fact he is doing well in some is very good, I think!!

  3. Sounds like the typical Independent, fundamental Baptist cult. Keeping you so busy your head spins. But then telling you you need time for your family but they need you to spend almost every day of the week at the church doing something. I did not enjoy the control these drivers had at the pulpit. There is a difference between a driver and a leader. And I read something else. You really had to ask a man in authority whether or not you should take your daughter to the hospital for a possible broken foot/ankle? If I think my kids need treatment, I set it up, go and do it. I don't let the kid suffer while asking my authority figure if it's OK to get her broken foot taken care of. I remember when Dale had his accident and that child should be in a public special ed program. Not expected to keep up with typical peers. How sad that you are so involved in the cult that you can't even see his real need. And you did mention in a post that some people you know "see your religion as a cult". is!

    1. Shari - That is one of the things that makes America such a great country to live in. We are free to worship in the religion of our choice, or not at all. Evangelical Christians are not members of a cult. A cult is something that a person is forced to join and threatened with harm if they do not continue. The Ostrander's serve God due to a sense of duty that many do not have, and this world is a better place because of it. It is not your place to judge how they live their lives. That is up to God. Based upon the blessings He has given them I would say it appears He is well pleased with His good and faithful servants and one day they will hear the words " well done". Can you say the same?