What an interesting thought........can we love God too much? I was listening to the song recently "That's what I'd be willing to do." The lyrics lists things I should be willing to give up if necessary in order to be like the Lord, including trading "sunshine for rain, comfort for pain" or being willing to endure hardships if that's what it takes to draw close to God. I had someone stop me this morning and express admiration for my patience and continued pleasant spirit since Dale's accident. I always cringe whenever someone says something like that because I KNOW ME! I know just how impatient I get, how much I wish I didn't have to deal with this, how much I dread the future stretching out before me filled with the constant need to be on guard for Dale, how I wish God would just heal him outright and get it over with!
You've heard the phrase, "Life isn't a bed of roses"? Well, why not?! Why can't life be easy, where the hardest thing I have to face is running out of toilet paper. (Yes, that happened in our house last night! Imagine handfuls of tissues being stashed in every bathroom.......) Every day our family is faced with numerous issues about which to complain. And, often, we do! I grumble about having to take time out of my get-ready routine to walk Dale down the stairs. We gripe about having to haul Dale's backpack everywhere. We fuss at Dale for not walking properly. We groan when we have to refigure our plans to accomodate his needs. But consider the alternative: we could be heartsore each time we make plans and realize we are one short. We could be counting the days or years until we see Dale in Heaven. We could find it unbearable to live in our house any longer, constantly having to walk by Dale's room and miss his laughter. God has been so good to us, hearing the prayers of God's people and giving our son life again. He has given us back our Dale, sound in mind (at least as much as anybody else in our family!) although definitely frail in body. Dale struggles with his memory still which makes test-taking difficult; we're still working to find the right balance of classes and responsibility for him, taking into account the fact that Dale needs extra help to get through high school. Even realizing we are human with all the quirks and foibles encumbering us, how could we grumble about God's goodness to us? I forget so easily that "this world is not my home; I'm just a-passing through." This life is not what counts; Heaven is what counts. When we reach Heaven, our troubles and trials down here will seem so minute and insignificant compared to God's wonderful presence and glory. I find it necessary to remind myself often to thank God for His goodness and manifold blessings to us instead of frowning and grumbling about my inconveniences.
Chad and I had to ban Dale from playing video games for a while until he brings his grades up. Dale has fallen into an attitude of apathy concerning his tests and quizzes. He acts like, "I don't have to study because I had an accident." He seems to think that he'll be allowed to slide through his classes without any negative repercussions from his grades. Chad and I had a BIG talk with him on Sunday about being responsible for his own studying and test-taking and homework and keeping track of such things in the planner we got him at the beginning of the school year. Dale has shown some improvement in these areas already this week, but there's still a long way to go before he's up to par!
I need to call Dale's neurologist and ask how much a bottle of his pills would be for us to purchase on our own (without insurance). I counted up the amount of pills we have left, and there was not going to enough to last him until we could see a doctor again. I cut down the amount of pills Dale takes each time, but, frankly, we've already seen some extra shakiness set in since then. I need to get him some more medicine so that he can resume taking four pills each morning and evening, thus reducing the concern about seizures again.
Today is the last home game for our sports teams! We're all excited---especially since we get out of school one hour earlier to watch the games. :-) With Mandie being a senior this year, this is the last game I will ever get to see her play in high school. I'm starting to tear up just thinking about it. (Sniff.) The varsity still has one final tournament to attend the week of Presidents' Day. We have a good chance of bringing home the big trophy this year in both volleyball and basketball. GO KNIGHTS!!!
God be with each of you today and every day. Each of us has burdens to bear and talents to share. Have a great day!
Job 1: 21 "And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."
Another great post Kirsten, and I have an idea about Dale's pills. Many drug companies have a reduced price plan for qualifying circumstances, I would check through the Doctor or contact that company directly. You may very well qualify for a lower price, or maybe even free. Never hurts to try, it could very well cover you until the insurance starts again. I will add that to my prayers for Dale and for your family, God will always provide. And thank you for giving me something more to pray for, I get so much joy when I pray for others. I personally feel that is is one of God's rewards to me, and I cherish it dearly. As always, thank you so much for this blog, I look forward to it greatly. All my best, Eric
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