It is so vital that we choose to praise God for every thing that happens in our lives, both good and not-so-good. As human beings, we have it in our nature to look at all the negative events that will and do occur and question God as to why He allows such trouble in our lives when we are only trying to do right and live for Him. We must deliberately think with the mind of Christ and force ourselves to look at all the positive things and events. Sure, bad things happen to good people, and none of us is exempt from this. But, I believe that if we sincerely look, we will find God's fingerprints all over our lives. It's not easy; we want to think that, just because we are Christians and just because we are God's children, we will live a life of ease and never have any problems. The truth is......we are sinners living imperfect lives in an already corrupt and dying world. ANY good thing that we have comes straight from God above. James 1: 17 tells us that---but we don't always choose to believe it. We think we deserve some kind of handout from God, as if we are doing Him a favor by living right and He owes us. Our God created the entire universe; He parted the Red Sea so that the Israelites walked across on dry ground; He made the sun and moon stand still; He created our bodies in such an intricate way that man still does not understand all about our own selves! And yet, He chooses to love us and care for us. He catches all our tears in a bottle. He hears us when we utter the simplest prayer. What right have we to expect anything from Him when He has done so much for us? So He doesn't give us the figure we desire; so He doesn't give us perfect health; so He doesn't give us the coveted job with the big salary; so He doesn't answer our prayer in the way we most desire. He doesn't have to explain Himself to us or do what we say. He is God, and He knows what is best. He is God, and His plans are always perfect. He is God, and that settles it.
My two older girls have been gone since Sunday night on a sports trip. The Presidents' Day Tournament has always been a BIG event that closes out our volleyball and basketball seasons. Our teams travel over the mountains to the Pasco area to play several Christian schools; they leave after the evening service on Sunday and (hopefully) return just before the evening service on Wednesday. There have been a few years when traffic or weather have prevented the teams from making the service on time, but our pastor always allows them to slip in the back and listen to whatever part of the service is left. This year, the mountain passes have already been hit with lots of snow---avalanche worry---and now there is incessant rainfall to think about as well---flooding worry. There's a whole lot of worrying going on! Not really, but we do pray for their safe return each time they are away. Our pastor has always said that, if the teams win the tournament or bring home the Christian character award, we will get a day off school. So far, that hasn't happened. :-( But there's always hope for next year! Preacher emphasized to our teams (and the coaches/chaperones) that maintaining a good testimony is of more importance than winning......but it would be nice to do both!
Dale finished up his Stanford Achievement Test yesterday afternoon. All told, it took him five days to complete the test---roughly twice as long as the rest of his class. However, it really seemed to me that he understood everything and answered the questions as well as any other 7th grader; he just had difficulty concentrating for long periods and had to take frequent breaks. We'll get the results back with the rest of the school's test results and see then how well he performed.
Yesterday morning, Dale got to do the first half of the neuro-psych evaluation testing. (He was scheduled to do the first half last week, you remember, but could not because of the seizure.) Dr. Crain seemed pleased with Dale's ability to hang in there and keep thinking. I could not be in the room during the testing as that would throw Dale off some, but, from what I could hear, Dale was relaxed and doing his best. We have another appointment next Tuesday afternoon to do the second half of the testing; I voiced concern that Dale might be more tired at that time of the day rather than the first-thing-in-the-morning appointment he had just had, and the doctor replied that, if he noticed that Dale was not performing up to par, he would scratch that session and plan another. I am trying not to attach too much importance to these tests---Stanford or neuro-psych---because I know God is the One Who is healing Dale, but I am curious to know how well Dale can do on these types of tests. Ultimately, full healing is in God's hands, and these doctor/therapy appointments are merely tools He is using to fulfill His own plan for Dale.
Speaking of therapy, this morning in PT (at the unearthly hour of 8:30 a.m.!!!), Dale walked down a whole flight of stairs. The therapist was in front of him, holding one of his hands for assistance, and I was behind, ready to support if needed. Dale was very fearful, looking at the many steps he would have to take before he was through. We encouraged him to focus on the next step, not the whole flight.......literally, take one step at a time! ;-) Down the first three steps, Dale was very shaky and had to fall/sit down on the step behind him. Across a small landing and down the next seven steps, he was shaky but stayed on his feet for the most part. Then, he started to get the hang of it! She told him, "Step down with your right leg but keep the left leg strong." Once Dale realized it was his left leg that was causing the problem, he was able to focus on keeping that leg strong while he stepped down with the other. And he did it! He made it all the way down---twenty-one steps and three landings later, we were on the next floor! Praise the Lord! This was such a confidence builder for Dale, proving to himself that, even though something is challenging or scary, he could do it. I really believe that getting past this shakiness and leg buckling is the key that will unlock the door to his future. Once he can move about freely without fear, nothing will stop him. He'll be out running up and down the basketball court before we know it! What a wonderful day that will be!
***Stinker Alert!***Yesterday, I was talking to Dale about this morning's early PT appointment. I said how I don't like having to get up earlier to get ready for school earlier to drop the girls off at a friend's house so she can take them to school on time so that we could get to PT on time. Dale didn't seem to like the early-hour appointment either because, after hearing me out, there seemed to be only one option to his mind. He began chanting to himself, "Have a seizure. Have a seizure. Have a seizure." The knucklehead!!! I almost strangled him in mock anger! :-) He, of course, was very proud of himself that he had gotten a rise out of me and continued to chuckle for the next few minutes, the silly goat.
Thank you again for your continued support and prayers. You have made this journey a little easier just by being here with us. God bless each of you every day!
Isaiah 40: 31 "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Amen and amen.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Update Friday afternoon 2/17
As I'm sure you experience in your own lives, we have had quite a few ups and downs this week. The ups have helped us praise God and be encouraged, while the downs have done their part to lower our spirits and make us seek God's face even more. How does the song put it? "That's life." What a blessing to have our Heavenly Father to turn to in times of great despair and times of wondrous triumph.
Dale's school schedule has been interrupted this week because he is taking the Stanford Achievement Test by himself at home. We decided to work at home on the test because the noise level at school can get pretty intense! He has been working steadily on it all week, making progress almost every day. It seems to take him at least twice as long as recommended to finish any one section, but, since I expected this, I have been able to plan for that. I am encouraged to note that Dale seems to be understanding everything just fine; of course, he gets some answers wrong, but that, too, is to be expected. I am not helping him any more than he would be helped if he were in a classroom setting; the only help I am allowed to give him (as with any student) is to read the question/answers to him, hoping the extra reading will make the answer click into place. His taking of the test has been interrupted by therapy trips and meals........oh, and a seizure.
Tuesday morning, just a week-and-a-half after his "partial seizure" while taking a walk with Dad, Dale was extremely shaky. He managed to get ready for the day, but trying to walk down the stairs proved too much for his brain to handle. His legs kept buckling underneath him, causing him to have to sit down quickly on the step above him. We had almost reached the bottom of the first flight of stairs when Dale's leg again buckled. This time, however, he couldn't seem to find purchase on the step behind him. I tried lowering him to the landing where he would be "safe", but his brain glitched and he went into a full seizure. This one lasted just as long as others previously (about 30 - 45 seconds) and was accompanied by posturing (arms stiffening out straight, wrists/fingers bending painfully) and rapid eye blinking. The only difference between this seizure with the medication and others before the meds is that Dale was aware of what was going on but was powerless to do anything about it. As soon as his muscles stopped their extreme tensing and his breathing returned to normal (yes, his breathing is restricted like an athlete's would be while doing extreme exercise), Dale began crying loudly. At first he couldn't even hear me speak to him because he was crying so hard. After he began to calm, I asked him if he could hear me; he said he could and had all along. He said his vision blacked out some and he couldn't move his arms or legs. I reminded him that this had happened before and that his ability to move would return, and, soon enough, it did. We tried sitting him up, but he was rather limp :-) and unable to hold the sitting position. Dale seemed completely exhausted by this seizure and lay passively on the floor of the landing while his sisters and I tried to figure out how to carry him downstairs to the couch. Believe me---this is one of those things men do better than women! We kept dissolving into giggles each time we attempted to grasp Dale's various appendages and pick him up. Finally, I decided it was in Dale's best interest (and ours!) to just leave him there on the landing with a pillow and blanket while I ran the girls (who were now tardy) to school. We put up the child safety gate right beside his head to nullify any possibility of him rolling down the second flight of stairs. (I found out when I got back home that we had not left room for our dog, Peanut, to crawl under the gate and get to Dale. I guess she whined a bit, then gave up and went back downstairs to curl up on the couch and wait for my return.) Dale was fine there, even falling asleep for a bit while waiting for me.
After I returned, I helped Dale walk down the rest of the stairs and be seated on the couch. I then put in a call to the neuro-psych doctor's office because Dale was supposed to start the neuro-psych evaluation testing that morning. The doctor was in a meeting, but he took my call and assured me that we could put off the testing for another, seizure-free morning. He made sure to ask if Dale was all right or if we needed any help; I assured him that Dale was fine now, just very tired. So Dale and I spent the morning watching TV together and eating lunch before heading for PT that afternoon. Dale did fine in PT, continuing his pattern of giving his best effort when he needs to most!
Wednesday was another day of testing, relieved only by short breaks and meals before calling it quits about 3:00 p.m. I help conduct Buttons and Bows twice a month after school on Wednesdays, and this was one of those days. My co-worker's daughter was very sick, so she dropped off her supplies and headed home. Thankfully, the girls were not any more boisterous and crazy than usual, so we had a good time. Church that evening was interesting, mainly because I was verrrrryyy tired and had to keep fidgeting to stay awake! When you sit on the front pew as we do, you have no option but to keep awake the entire service. It's rather obvious when you don't!!! My youngest daughter, Emily, can get away with falling asleep during the preaching, but it would be really bad if I did! We all went to bed shortly after arriving home that night from church.
We called the neurologist on Tuesday to report Dale's latest seizure and other developments, but we did not hear back from the doctor until Thursday. Chad and I both believe that the seizures are merely a symptom of the bigger problem of brain misfires. It seems like sometimes Dale's brain works just fine, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes when he tries to lift his leg to climb the stairs, his leg lifts and he steps up; the brain sent the right cue and the body responded. Sometimes, however, his leg jerks for no reason; the brain sent a signal that wasn't needed. Dale's body responds to the miscue, and, if this happens while he is already trying to do something (walk, climb stairs, sit down), he gets thrown off by the miscue and usually stumbles or falls. We were hoping the neurologist had some magic potion that would help Dale's brain make the proper connections, but apparently he doesn't. He helped us to see, though, that Dale has improved so much since his accident that we should be thankful for what we have gotten back so far. And we are---please don't think we are in any way ungrateful. We just want more for Dale than shakiness and spasmodic jerking and needing assistance the rest of his life. And, yes, we have been pounding Heaven's gates with our requests, night and day. I thank God for the miracle of our boy, and I welcome and cheer each new step of progress we can chart. But I truly believe that God has more for Dale than shaking and falling; I believe God is continuing to heal Dale and making him into what He desires our son to be. I don't want to presume to know God's plans or designs, but I don't think God will leave Dale like this.......unsteady, falling, unsure, scared, crying after a seizure. I can't wait to see the finished product that will be God's work in our son; I'd just like to press "fast forward" to the end! And maybe that's what God is trying to teach me through this: I need to wait on Him. I've read my Bible more, prayed more, and sought God's desires more since Dale's accident than I have in a long time. If nothing else (and we know there is much "else" that has occurred), God has gotten my attention; He has had a daughter return to Him because of His hand in our lives and on our son.
How can we help but praise Him for His wonderful works? How can we help but give thanks for all He does and is? Who else but our mighty God is powerful enough to hold back the sea as it tried to claim my son's life? Who else but our God is able to cradle Dale in His arms, holding onto him until the rescue team located him, while at the same time enveloping Chad and I in His loving arms, giving us strength beyond our human abilities and grace to help in time of need? Who else indeed but the Lord of hosts, the God of the universe, the Giver of life Himself, the Creator of the miraculous machines we call our bodies? And Who else can make the reconnections of the miniscule firing pins of Dale's brain pathways to enable him to grow and develop and mature to full service for Him? If God be for us, who can be against us?
Psalm 20: 7 "Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God."
Psalm 28: 7 "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him."
Dale's school schedule has been interrupted this week because he is taking the Stanford Achievement Test by himself at home. We decided to work at home on the test because the noise level at school can get pretty intense! He has been working steadily on it all week, making progress almost every day. It seems to take him at least twice as long as recommended to finish any one section, but, since I expected this, I have been able to plan for that. I am encouraged to note that Dale seems to be understanding everything just fine; of course, he gets some answers wrong, but that, too, is to be expected. I am not helping him any more than he would be helped if he were in a classroom setting; the only help I am allowed to give him (as with any student) is to read the question/answers to him, hoping the extra reading will make the answer click into place. His taking of the test has been interrupted by therapy trips and meals........oh, and a seizure.
Tuesday morning, just a week-and-a-half after his "partial seizure" while taking a walk with Dad, Dale was extremely shaky. He managed to get ready for the day, but trying to walk down the stairs proved too much for his brain to handle. His legs kept buckling underneath him, causing him to have to sit down quickly on the step above him. We had almost reached the bottom of the first flight of stairs when Dale's leg again buckled. This time, however, he couldn't seem to find purchase on the step behind him. I tried lowering him to the landing where he would be "safe", but his brain glitched and he went into a full seizure. This one lasted just as long as others previously (about 30 - 45 seconds) and was accompanied by posturing (arms stiffening out straight, wrists/fingers bending painfully) and rapid eye blinking. The only difference between this seizure with the medication and others before the meds is that Dale was aware of what was going on but was powerless to do anything about it. As soon as his muscles stopped their extreme tensing and his breathing returned to normal (yes, his breathing is restricted like an athlete's would be while doing extreme exercise), Dale began crying loudly. At first he couldn't even hear me speak to him because he was crying so hard. After he began to calm, I asked him if he could hear me; he said he could and had all along. He said his vision blacked out some and he couldn't move his arms or legs. I reminded him that this had happened before and that his ability to move would return, and, soon enough, it did. We tried sitting him up, but he was rather limp :-) and unable to hold the sitting position. Dale seemed completely exhausted by this seizure and lay passively on the floor of the landing while his sisters and I tried to figure out how to carry him downstairs to the couch. Believe me---this is one of those things men do better than women! We kept dissolving into giggles each time we attempted to grasp Dale's various appendages and pick him up. Finally, I decided it was in Dale's best interest (and ours!) to just leave him there on the landing with a pillow and blanket while I ran the girls (who were now tardy) to school. We put up the child safety gate right beside his head to nullify any possibility of him rolling down the second flight of stairs. (I found out when I got back home that we had not left room for our dog, Peanut, to crawl under the gate and get to Dale. I guess she whined a bit, then gave up and went back downstairs to curl up on the couch and wait for my return.) Dale was fine there, even falling asleep for a bit while waiting for me.
After I returned, I helped Dale walk down the rest of the stairs and be seated on the couch. I then put in a call to the neuro-psych doctor's office because Dale was supposed to start the neuro-psych evaluation testing that morning. The doctor was in a meeting, but he took my call and assured me that we could put off the testing for another, seizure-free morning. He made sure to ask if Dale was all right or if we needed any help; I assured him that Dale was fine now, just very tired. So Dale and I spent the morning watching TV together and eating lunch before heading for PT that afternoon. Dale did fine in PT, continuing his pattern of giving his best effort when he needs to most!
Wednesday was another day of testing, relieved only by short breaks and meals before calling it quits about 3:00 p.m. I help conduct Buttons and Bows twice a month after school on Wednesdays, and this was one of those days. My co-worker's daughter was very sick, so she dropped off her supplies and headed home. Thankfully, the girls were not any more boisterous and crazy than usual, so we had a good time. Church that evening was interesting, mainly because I was verrrrryyy tired and had to keep fidgeting to stay awake! When you sit on the front pew as we do, you have no option but to keep awake the entire service. It's rather obvious when you don't!!! My youngest daughter, Emily, can get away with falling asleep during the preaching, but it would be really bad if I did! We all went to bed shortly after arriving home that night from church.
We called the neurologist on Tuesday to report Dale's latest seizure and other developments, but we did not hear back from the doctor until Thursday. Chad and I both believe that the seizures are merely a symptom of the bigger problem of brain misfires. It seems like sometimes Dale's brain works just fine, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes when he tries to lift his leg to climb the stairs, his leg lifts and he steps up; the brain sent the right cue and the body responded. Sometimes, however, his leg jerks for no reason; the brain sent a signal that wasn't needed. Dale's body responds to the miscue, and, if this happens while he is already trying to do something (walk, climb stairs, sit down), he gets thrown off by the miscue and usually stumbles or falls. We were hoping the neurologist had some magic potion that would help Dale's brain make the proper connections, but apparently he doesn't. He helped us to see, though, that Dale has improved so much since his accident that we should be thankful for what we have gotten back so far. And we are---please don't think we are in any way ungrateful. We just want more for Dale than shakiness and spasmodic jerking and needing assistance the rest of his life. And, yes, we have been pounding Heaven's gates with our requests, night and day. I thank God for the miracle of our boy, and I welcome and cheer each new step of progress we can chart. But I truly believe that God has more for Dale than shaking and falling; I believe God is continuing to heal Dale and making him into what He desires our son to be. I don't want to presume to know God's plans or designs, but I don't think God will leave Dale like this.......unsteady, falling, unsure, scared, crying after a seizure. I can't wait to see the finished product that will be God's work in our son; I'd just like to press "fast forward" to the end! And maybe that's what God is trying to teach me through this: I need to wait on Him. I've read my Bible more, prayed more, and sought God's desires more since Dale's accident than I have in a long time. If nothing else (and we know there is much "else" that has occurred), God has gotten my attention; He has had a daughter return to Him because of His hand in our lives and on our son.
How can we help but praise Him for His wonderful works? How can we help but give thanks for all He does and is? Who else but our mighty God is powerful enough to hold back the sea as it tried to claim my son's life? Who else but our God is able to cradle Dale in His arms, holding onto him until the rescue team located him, while at the same time enveloping Chad and I in His loving arms, giving us strength beyond our human abilities and grace to help in time of need? Who else indeed but the Lord of hosts, the God of the universe, the Giver of life Himself, the Creator of the miraculous machines we call our bodies? And Who else can make the reconnections of the miniscule firing pins of Dale's brain pathways to enable him to grow and develop and mature to full service for Him? If God be for us, who can be against us?
Psalm 20: 7 "Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God."
Psalm 28: 7 "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him."
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Update Saturday morning 2/11
I apologize for being incommunicado since Sunday's post. I have been down sick for a couple of days......down less than I wished, sick longer than I wanted! Let me catch you up on events in the Ostrander family's realm:
This past week our school has been taking the Stanford Achievement Tests. The normally-combined 1st/2nd grades split so that each grade's tests could be administered separately; plus, the 2nd grade has an extra booklet that they do. As a result, my :-( spare classroom was taken over by the 1st grade for their test. Dale and I moved into the teachers' lounge to do our usual speech worksheets and stuff. We decided after the first day that we did not need to stay at school for the usual length of time because Dale actually was working far beyond our regularly scheduled time of 50 minutes. We worked in that room for about an hour-and-a-half and then opted to go home. The upper classes did not start their SATs until Wednesday, but we went home early on both Monday and Tuesday; once home, we took a looooong walk around the neighborhood (at least 40 minutes) before relaxing in our house. Tuesday afternoon, Dale had PT scheduled at 1:30. We left the house about five minutes early so we could stop and get some gas. Unfortunately, we wound up cancelling PT because.......
We were in a minor car accident at the gas station!!! This is the first (hopefully ONLY) car accident I have ever had, and, of course, the only car accident Dale has ever been in. The gas station has two lines of pumps that are accessible from both sides of each line. I had been pulled up to the middle pump of the inside of the pump line closest to the building. When I finished, I pulled around the car in front of me (at the first pump) and proceeded to make a U-turn (right) around the other line of pumps so that I could use the other exit from which I could turn left onto the main street. Still following me? I had gotten my vehicle about half-way in front of that other line of pumps when a young woman accelerated straight forward from the outside of that line of pumps---directly into my front right wheel! I didn't see her coming until a second before the impact. I slammed on my brakes and said, "No, no, no!" But, as you can imagine, it was too late; she had already hit my van. Needless to say, we were all shaken up a bit. She and I both climbed out of our poor vehicles to assess the damage and exchange information. I called Chad to tell him what happened and make sure I was following all the proper procedures. He advised me to call the police even though we were on private property when the collision took place because she had initially told me that she had no insurance. I put in the call to the police who said they would not come out (private property clause) unless someone was injured or under the influence (neither). When I got off the phone, she said that she did have insurance; she thought it had lapsed because she had not yet received the new papers (I think). Anyway, we exchanged all information possible besides SSNs, and I dialed my insurance agency's number. Thankfully, just as she was about to pull away---she had to go to work---I remembered to get her license plate number. I talked to USAA for a while, making my statement and getting their help and advice. Originally, I thought I might could drive my van home, but, when my friend pulled up, she nixed that idea. There is barely any body damage to my van; the impact seems to have been fully on the tire. There is a tiny dent by the wheel well and a couple of paint transfers; the major damage was originally assessed by everyone at the scene as a bent/broken axle, but it turned out to be a broken strut. Whew! Her headlight or fog lamp (I put lamb!!) broke, and she had to remove her front bumper in order to drive as it was bent waaaay down. After the call to the insurance company, I made a quick call to PT to tell them what happened and why we wouldn't be there. And, of course, I called my husband back several times to keep him updated on things. (He had also advised me to take pictures of both vehicles with my phone camera; when I relayed this to the young woman, she decided to do the same.)
To top things off, my cell phone battery was dying! I had no idea it had only one bar of power left when I left the house. After phoning my husband 3x, USAA 2x (I had to call back for towing, after all), my wonderful friend Novella who dropped everything to come help, PT, my husband again (!), and taking pictures of our cars, my battery died. Thank God for Novella! She not only came when I called.......she gave me a hug which I desperately needed; she helped me to smile again; she gave her opinion that I shouldn't drive my van (I called her to simply follow me home in case there was another problem); she waited with me for almost an hour until the tow truck arrived (who had been trying to reach me, leaving messages on my dead cell phone!); she related the accidents she has been involved in, making me realize things could have been MUCH worse; she texted another friend of ours to ask her to pick up her/my children if we didn't make it in time (tow truck delays); she drove Dale and I to school to get our children as the final bell was about to ring; she arranged for someone else to drop her kids off at her house and stay with them for the short time it would take for her to run us home; she took all of us home (duh); and she brought our girls home after school on Wednesday and Thursday as well. Yes, she was and is a God-send!
Once we got to school Tuesday afternoon, I got out to gather all of our combined children. Amanda and her class were standing on the front sidewalk, waiting for the bell to officially free them. I walked straight up to her and wrapped my arms around her. It took her about .0001 second to realize something was wrong. I told her what happened and that we were all right and yet now we had a deductible to pay and somehow the van had to be fixed and our insurance didn't cover a rental car.......and so on and so forth. My second daughter, Katie, came up in time to hear most of the conversation and put her arms around me as well. Our church's "Holy Spirit" (our pastor's wife) came up behind me, enveloped the three of us in her arms and began lamenting aloud, "I wish we had a God in Heaven Who could take care of us. I wish we had Someone Who could handle all of this for us!" Of course, this made me laugh a bit as I realized that was exactly how I was acting---as if God was somehow powerless in this situation (as I felt), as if He was unable to do anything to work all things for good, as if He was in Heaven wringing His hands in despair. I tried defending myself by saying, "I already prayed!" But even my own words condemned me. "I already prayed" as if one time would do it. Really? I only need say a few words at one moment to God and He is supposed to move Heaven and earth to do my will? I admitted she was right; she squeezed me and told me she loved me. And then I began praying again, allowing my requests to God to run in a continuous pattern, while I talked with others and gathered my children and headed for home. One of my college Bible professors used to tell us, "You shouldn't have a prayer time. You should have a prayer life." He was soooo right!
And life continues, as it always will despite good days we want to hold onto forever or bad days we wish would end quickly. We actually had no therapy scheduled for Wednesday, so Dale slept in a bit. About 10:00 Dale and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. He had already begun to slip back into shakiness, so his legs buckled a bit. Since there was a light rain falling, his seat got damp each time he had to sit on the sidewalk. When we got back inside, he changed and we built Legos together. As the day progressed, I developed more and more of a severe head cold. One nostril stuffed up, then I began to cough, followed by a scratchy throat, and several bouts of sneezing. By the time Chad got home after work, I was fairly miserable. I still went to church Wednesday evening, but I cannot honestly tell you what the sermon was about other than the title: Get Over It. Ironic, huh?
Thursday, again, Dale slept in. (I had to get up to get the girls ready for school. Feel sorry for me?) I had gone to bed the night before with a headache and woke up Thursday morning with the same cold and a fierce migraine. Taking some migraine medicine helped a bit, but I decided to absolve myself of all responsibility that day. I did not take Dale for a walk (it was raining much harder anyway); I did not do laundry; I did not update the blog; I did not even go upstairs. I had to call and cancel PT because we didn't have the van back yet. The only activity I was involved in was going to pick up the newly-repaired van from the shop. (They had originally told us that they would get to it whenever they could, possibly next week. Two days later, it's done! Praise the Lord!) When we got back home, I lay down (about 4:00 p.m.) to sleep, not waking up until my husband got back from the store around 6:00 or so. Amazingly, he expected me to get up and fix dinner! Don't worry---I'm laughing! He has had to listen to me say, "Why did you fix that? I was going to use it for ______ later" too many times. I guess he decided he'd rather risk my being upset over having to fix dinner while seriously under the weather than have me upset because he used something for dinner that I was saving. The poor man!!! At any rate, I was actually feeling a bit better, so the older girls and I made dinner together.
Friday was business as usual. We all went to school in the morning, and then Dale and I went to SP at 11:00. We returned home for lunch and rest (I was still feeling rather sick). I received a phone call from USAA, needing to ask a few more questions about the accident. After speaking with the adjustor for several minutes and giving him a chance to review the claim with the additional information I then provided, he gave me good news. USAA does not see me at fault for the accident!!! While this does not affect how Geico (her insurance) sees the situation, at least my insurance rates will not go up as a result. WOW! What an answer to prayer. Also, USAA said that, if Geico accepts fault for their driver, we will be reimbursed the entire $694 cost of repairs to our van. If not, USAA will reimburse us the $194 over our $500 deductible. This is good news as well. I did receive a phone call from Geico as well on Friday afternoon, asking me to give a statement and asking me additional questions about the accident. Each time I spoke, I tried to be honest and clear, not wanting to paint her in a bad light or me in a good light. Having said that, I know my tongue's ability to get tied in knots, so I did my best and had to deliberately leave the results in God's hands. From my perspective, the most important thing is that my husband believes me not at fault. Second most important is that USAA believes me not at fault and will reimburse us at least $194. If Geico accepts their driver at fault, we will get it all back. Whether we do or not, it's in God's hands. We have our van back again; it only needs realignment now. We are (kind of) back to normal. I'm just not sure I'll be able to use that gas station again........and it's the most convenient! We'll see. :-)
Praising God through all things whether good or bad, easy or hard, sick or well, up or down, in the body or out of the body, we will continue serving Him. He is worthy and we are blessed.
Jude 1: 20 - 21 "But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost, Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life."
This past week our school has been taking the Stanford Achievement Tests. The normally-combined 1st/2nd grades split so that each grade's tests could be administered separately; plus, the 2nd grade has an extra booklet that they do. As a result, my :-( spare classroom was taken over by the 1st grade for their test. Dale and I moved into the teachers' lounge to do our usual speech worksheets and stuff. We decided after the first day that we did not need to stay at school for the usual length of time because Dale actually was working far beyond our regularly scheduled time of 50 minutes. We worked in that room for about an hour-and-a-half and then opted to go home. The upper classes did not start their SATs until Wednesday, but we went home early on both Monday and Tuesday; once home, we took a looooong walk around the neighborhood (at least 40 minutes) before relaxing in our house. Tuesday afternoon, Dale had PT scheduled at 1:30. We left the house about five minutes early so we could stop and get some gas. Unfortunately, we wound up cancelling PT because.......
We were in a minor car accident at the gas station!!! This is the first (hopefully ONLY) car accident I have ever had, and, of course, the only car accident Dale has ever been in. The gas station has two lines of pumps that are accessible from both sides of each line. I had been pulled up to the middle pump of the inside of the pump line closest to the building. When I finished, I pulled around the car in front of me (at the first pump) and proceeded to make a U-turn (right) around the other line of pumps so that I could use the other exit from which I could turn left onto the main street. Still following me? I had gotten my vehicle about half-way in front of that other line of pumps when a young woman accelerated straight forward from the outside of that line of pumps---directly into my front right wheel! I didn't see her coming until a second before the impact. I slammed on my brakes and said, "No, no, no!" But, as you can imagine, it was too late; she had already hit my van. Needless to say, we were all shaken up a bit. She and I both climbed out of our poor vehicles to assess the damage and exchange information. I called Chad to tell him what happened and make sure I was following all the proper procedures. He advised me to call the police even though we were on private property when the collision took place because she had initially told me that she had no insurance. I put in the call to the police who said they would not come out (private property clause) unless someone was injured or under the influence (neither). When I got off the phone, she said that she did have insurance; she thought it had lapsed because she had not yet received the new papers (I think). Anyway, we exchanged all information possible besides SSNs, and I dialed my insurance agency's number. Thankfully, just as she was about to pull away---she had to go to work---I remembered to get her license plate number. I talked to USAA for a while, making my statement and getting their help and advice. Originally, I thought I might could drive my van home, but, when my friend pulled up, she nixed that idea. There is barely any body damage to my van; the impact seems to have been fully on the tire. There is a tiny dent by the wheel well and a couple of paint transfers; the major damage was originally assessed by everyone at the scene as a bent/broken axle, but it turned out to be a broken strut. Whew! Her headlight or fog lamp (I put lamb!!) broke, and she had to remove her front bumper in order to drive as it was bent waaaay down. After the call to the insurance company, I made a quick call to PT to tell them what happened and why we wouldn't be there. And, of course, I called my husband back several times to keep him updated on things. (He had also advised me to take pictures of both vehicles with my phone camera; when I relayed this to the young woman, she decided to do the same.)
To top things off, my cell phone battery was dying! I had no idea it had only one bar of power left when I left the house. After phoning my husband 3x, USAA 2x (I had to call back for towing, after all), my wonderful friend Novella who dropped everything to come help, PT, my husband again (!), and taking pictures of our cars, my battery died. Thank God for Novella! She not only came when I called.......she gave me a hug which I desperately needed; she helped me to smile again; she gave her opinion that I shouldn't drive my van (I called her to simply follow me home in case there was another problem); she waited with me for almost an hour until the tow truck arrived (who had been trying to reach me, leaving messages on my dead cell phone!); she related the accidents she has been involved in, making me realize things could have been MUCH worse; she texted another friend of ours to ask her to pick up her/my children if we didn't make it in time (tow truck delays); she drove Dale and I to school to get our children as the final bell was about to ring; she arranged for someone else to drop her kids off at her house and stay with them for the short time it would take for her to run us home; she took all of us home (duh); and she brought our girls home after school on Wednesday and Thursday as well. Yes, she was and is a God-send!
Once we got to school Tuesday afternoon, I got out to gather all of our combined children. Amanda and her class were standing on the front sidewalk, waiting for the bell to officially free them. I walked straight up to her and wrapped my arms around her. It took her about .0001 second to realize something was wrong. I told her what happened and that we were all right and yet now we had a deductible to pay and somehow the van had to be fixed and our insurance didn't cover a rental car.......and so on and so forth. My second daughter, Katie, came up in time to hear most of the conversation and put her arms around me as well. Our church's "Holy Spirit" (our pastor's wife) came up behind me, enveloped the three of us in her arms and began lamenting aloud, "I wish we had a God in Heaven Who could take care of us. I wish we had Someone Who could handle all of this for us!" Of course, this made me laugh a bit as I realized that was exactly how I was acting---as if God was somehow powerless in this situation (as I felt), as if He was unable to do anything to work all things for good, as if He was in Heaven wringing His hands in despair. I tried defending myself by saying, "I already prayed!" But even my own words condemned me. "I already prayed" as if one time would do it. Really? I only need say a few words at one moment to God and He is supposed to move Heaven and earth to do my will? I admitted she was right; she squeezed me and told me she loved me. And then I began praying again, allowing my requests to God to run in a continuous pattern, while I talked with others and gathered my children and headed for home. One of my college Bible professors used to tell us, "You shouldn't have a prayer time. You should have a prayer life." He was soooo right!
And life continues, as it always will despite good days we want to hold onto forever or bad days we wish would end quickly. We actually had no therapy scheduled for Wednesday, so Dale slept in a bit. About 10:00 Dale and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. He had already begun to slip back into shakiness, so his legs buckled a bit. Since there was a light rain falling, his seat got damp each time he had to sit on the sidewalk. When we got back inside, he changed and we built Legos together. As the day progressed, I developed more and more of a severe head cold. One nostril stuffed up, then I began to cough, followed by a scratchy throat, and several bouts of sneezing. By the time Chad got home after work, I was fairly miserable. I still went to church Wednesday evening, but I cannot honestly tell you what the sermon was about other than the title: Get Over It. Ironic, huh?
Thursday, again, Dale slept in. (I had to get up to get the girls ready for school. Feel sorry for me?) I had gone to bed the night before with a headache and woke up Thursday morning with the same cold and a fierce migraine. Taking some migraine medicine helped a bit, but I decided to absolve myself of all responsibility that day. I did not take Dale for a walk (it was raining much harder anyway); I did not do laundry; I did not update the blog; I did not even go upstairs. I had to call and cancel PT because we didn't have the van back yet. The only activity I was involved in was going to pick up the newly-repaired van from the shop. (They had originally told us that they would get to it whenever they could, possibly next week. Two days later, it's done! Praise the Lord!) When we got back home, I lay down (about 4:00 p.m.) to sleep, not waking up until my husband got back from the store around 6:00 or so. Amazingly, he expected me to get up and fix dinner! Don't worry---I'm laughing! He has had to listen to me say, "Why did you fix that? I was going to use it for ______ later" too many times. I guess he decided he'd rather risk my being upset over having to fix dinner while seriously under the weather than have me upset because he used something for dinner that I was saving. The poor man!!! At any rate, I was actually feeling a bit better, so the older girls and I made dinner together.
Friday was business as usual. We all went to school in the morning, and then Dale and I went to SP at 11:00. We returned home for lunch and rest (I was still feeling rather sick). I received a phone call from USAA, needing to ask a few more questions about the accident. After speaking with the adjustor for several minutes and giving him a chance to review the claim with the additional information I then provided, he gave me good news. USAA does not see me at fault for the accident!!! While this does not affect how Geico (her insurance) sees the situation, at least my insurance rates will not go up as a result. WOW! What an answer to prayer. Also, USAA said that, if Geico accepts fault for their driver, we will be reimbursed the entire $694 cost of repairs to our van. If not, USAA will reimburse us the $194 over our $500 deductible. This is good news as well. I did receive a phone call from Geico as well on Friday afternoon, asking me to give a statement and asking me additional questions about the accident. Each time I spoke, I tried to be honest and clear, not wanting to paint her in a bad light or me in a good light. Having said that, I know my tongue's ability to get tied in knots, so I did my best and had to deliberately leave the results in God's hands. From my perspective, the most important thing is that my husband believes me not at fault. Second most important is that USAA believes me not at fault and will reimburse us at least $194. If Geico accepts their driver at fault, we will get it all back. Whether we do or not, it's in God's hands. We have our van back again; it only needs realignment now. We are (kind of) back to normal. I'm just not sure I'll be able to use that gas station again........and it's the most convenient! We'll see. :-)
Praising God through all things whether good or bad, easy or hard, sick or well, up or down, in the body or out of the body, we will continue serving Him. He is worthy and we are blessed.
Jude 1: 20 - 21 "But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost, Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life."
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Update Sunday afternoon 2/5
We have much for which to be thankful on this day. It has been six full months since Dale's drowning at Cranberry Beach, WA, and our God has, indeed, shown Himself mighty and powerful to save. First, He saved Dale from the waters; then He saved him from permament brain damage; and even now He is still saving Dale from a life of fear and confusion. Chad and I wish to express our thanks and gratitude to everyone who has followed our son's miraculous healing and continued progress in prayers, in tears, in support. You have all meant more to this family than we can ever hope to tell. God bless each of you.
Dale has been increasingly shaky over the last week. This is nothing new; usually he will have a seizure, then spend a few days nice and steady, and then slowly the shakiness comes back. Yesterday, while my husband and Dale were out for a walk, Dale had what he calls a "half-seizure." Chad was assisting Dale somewhat during the walk, but we have both been certain that Dale simply needs to "get over" his fear of falling and strike out in faith. Yesterday, we were both taught a vital lesson: to listen to our son when he speaks! We have been telling Dale to make his brain boss his body, tell his legs to stop shaking, tell his feet where to step next. Dale told us that he is trying to tell his legs what to do but that they are not responding. To us, it looked like Dale was just unwilling to try hard, that all he needed to do was make it happen. Chad was doing this again on the walk, telling Dale to make his legs obey him. Dale's leg had buckled under him; Chad was supporting Dale while saying, "Dale, stand up. Just stand up!" Dale tried so hard to obey his father that he had a seizure.......but this one was much different than the others. Dale was awake and aware the whole time! Chad said the episode lasted only about 15-20 seconds (much shorter than the others); he got Dale down onto the sidewalk and called me. Since he and Dale were only walking around our neighborhood, I was able to find them easily. I pulled up to the curb to hear Dale crying at the top of his lungs. I assumed that this seizure was like the others and that Dale was unaware of what he was doing. I began trying to calm him down and assure him that Mom and Dad were here and he would be all right. To my surprise, Dale began talking to me! He said, "The reason I'm crying is I'm scared. I think I'm dying!" I was shocked to hear him speak, but I had to push aside that feeling and hasten to tell my son that he was not dying, that this had all happened before. He was terrified. Chad hoisted Dale up, but Dale could not even get his feet under him. He began crying again, saying, "Why won't my legs work?" We quickly realized that, even though Dale was awake for this seizure, he was having the same effects as before: limp limbs, inability to move of his own accord, etc. Chad was able to get Dale into the van---no small feat as Dale is no lightweight!---and we drove home. Chad then carried Dale in and laid him on the couch where we were able to make him comfortable so he could rest. Dale was still fearful and confused because his movement was restricted, although, by the time we got back to the house, he had regained movement in his arms. Leg movement followed soon after, relieving Dale considerably. We were able to explain to Dale that all of his symptoms had occurred before but that he had always been asleep through them and so did not know. After talking further with Dale, asking him questions, we were surprised to discover that he had, indeed, remained conscious and aware during the entire episode. He did not suffer the usual "blackout" and so could see and hear everything going on around him. He explained that he was trying to do what Dad said (stand up properly) but that his legs simply would not obey his brain. This helped us realize that we should have listened more closely to what Dale had been saying all along. He has been trying to get his body to respond correctly; it just doesn't want to sometimes. We had Dale rest on the couch for a good bit afterwards, but he never fell asleep---something he usually had no choice but to do. I teased Dale, saying that, once he was rested, he needed to get up and finish that walk since Dad had carried him into the house and all. He grinned, knowing full well an empty threat when he heard one!
The rest of the day passed in a leisurely fashion. Dale got a bath as usual Saturday night, and we were able to practice some new techniques that make him feel more secure in the tub. He maneuvers himself so that he is able to get up on his knees before standing up after his bath. This makes him feel more in control and less likely to fall or feel like he might fall. Also, for the first time since his accident, Dale was able to do 99% of the bathing by himself! Again, we are establishing habits and routines that will help him at some point be able to bathe on his own (I'm sure he doesn't want Mom present by the bathtub for the rest of his life!). Dale even was willing to bend his knees and lower his upper body into the water in order to rinse his hair. All of these things sound like something a mother might go through while teaching her four- or five-year old how to bathe, but, in many ways, that is precisely what we are doing with Dale. He is having to relearn many things even still, six months later. Reteaching how to brush his teeth, how to bathe, how to use the toilet and clean himself, how to dress......each step must be taught and then reinforced daily until they, once again, become habit.
This morning, to my pleased surprise, Dale buttoned his whole shirt by himself! He has had especial trouble with buttons because his fingers will shake so much sometimes that buttoning is almost impossible. Usually I just automatically button his shirt. Today, we were talking when Dale reached for the first button and began trying to get it into that small buttonhole. I noticed this but just kept talking, and, before he even realized it, he had gotten the first one done! It took him about four tries, but he did it. He then began on the second one but got tired and asked for my help. Again, normally I would just do it for him, but this time I said, "No, Dale. You go ahead and keep trying." He grimaced but attacked the button again. Steadily he made his way down the shirt, needing four to six tries on each button before accomplishing the task. When he got to the end, I called his dad into the room and presented to him Dale's success. Chad was suitably impressed, and Dale was pleased with himself. Of course, this means that I will be less hands-on with the buttons and allow Dale to try more before offering help.
Thank You, Lord, for all You do, but especially, thank You, Lord, for healing my son. Dale has come so far in these past six months. When I think back to that day in August when we were unsure if Dale would survive or just go on home to Heaven and compare his prognosis then to what he can do now, I am amazed at our Lord's unspeakable power and might. He alone was able to show the water rescue team where Dale was; He alone was able to wake Dale up and have him speak; He alone has been able to so heal Dale's brain that speech is no longer a problem; He alone has the ability to reestablish those needed connections to allow Dale freedom of movement once again. Our God is able and willing to do wonderful works in our lives. We must be willing to allow Him to lead us "through the valley of the shadow of death" in order for His glorious light to illuminate our path. Thank You, my Father, for leading us. May we always follow You closely and trust in Your will.
Psalm 119: 105 "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
Dale has been increasingly shaky over the last week. This is nothing new; usually he will have a seizure, then spend a few days nice and steady, and then slowly the shakiness comes back. Yesterday, while my husband and Dale were out for a walk, Dale had what he calls a "half-seizure." Chad was assisting Dale somewhat during the walk, but we have both been certain that Dale simply needs to "get over" his fear of falling and strike out in faith. Yesterday, we were both taught a vital lesson: to listen to our son when he speaks! We have been telling Dale to make his brain boss his body, tell his legs to stop shaking, tell his feet where to step next. Dale told us that he is trying to tell his legs what to do but that they are not responding. To us, it looked like Dale was just unwilling to try hard, that all he needed to do was make it happen. Chad was doing this again on the walk, telling Dale to make his legs obey him. Dale's leg had buckled under him; Chad was supporting Dale while saying, "Dale, stand up. Just stand up!" Dale tried so hard to obey his father that he had a seizure.......but this one was much different than the others. Dale was awake and aware the whole time! Chad said the episode lasted only about 15-20 seconds (much shorter than the others); he got Dale down onto the sidewalk and called me. Since he and Dale were only walking around our neighborhood, I was able to find them easily. I pulled up to the curb to hear Dale crying at the top of his lungs. I assumed that this seizure was like the others and that Dale was unaware of what he was doing. I began trying to calm him down and assure him that Mom and Dad were here and he would be all right. To my surprise, Dale began talking to me! He said, "The reason I'm crying is I'm scared. I think I'm dying!" I was shocked to hear him speak, but I had to push aside that feeling and hasten to tell my son that he was not dying, that this had all happened before. He was terrified. Chad hoisted Dale up, but Dale could not even get his feet under him. He began crying again, saying, "Why won't my legs work?" We quickly realized that, even though Dale was awake for this seizure, he was having the same effects as before: limp limbs, inability to move of his own accord, etc. Chad was able to get Dale into the van---no small feat as Dale is no lightweight!---and we drove home. Chad then carried Dale in and laid him on the couch where we were able to make him comfortable so he could rest. Dale was still fearful and confused because his movement was restricted, although, by the time we got back to the house, he had regained movement in his arms. Leg movement followed soon after, relieving Dale considerably. We were able to explain to Dale that all of his symptoms had occurred before but that he had always been asleep through them and so did not know. After talking further with Dale, asking him questions, we were surprised to discover that he had, indeed, remained conscious and aware during the entire episode. He did not suffer the usual "blackout" and so could see and hear everything going on around him. He explained that he was trying to do what Dad said (stand up properly) but that his legs simply would not obey his brain. This helped us realize that we should have listened more closely to what Dale had been saying all along. He has been trying to get his body to respond correctly; it just doesn't want to sometimes. We had Dale rest on the couch for a good bit afterwards, but he never fell asleep---something he usually had no choice but to do. I teased Dale, saying that, once he was rested, he needed to get up and finish that walk since Dad had carried him into the house and all. He grinned, knowing full well an empty threat when he heard one!
The rest of the day passed in a leisurely fashion. Dale got a bath as usual Saturday night, and we were able to practice some new techniques that make him feel more secure in the tub. He maneuvers himself so that he is able to get up on his knees before standing up after his bath. This makes him feel more in control and less likely to fall or feel like he might fall. Also, for the first time since his accident, Dale was able to do 99% of the bathing by himself! Again, we are establishing habits and routines that will help him at some point be able to bathe on his own (I'm sure he doesn't want Mom present by the bathtub for the rest of his life!). Dale even was willing to bend his knees and lower his upper body into the water in order to rinse his hair. All of these things sound like something a mother might go through while teaching her four- or five-year old how to bathe, but, in many ways, that is precisely what we are doing with Dale. He is having to relearn many things even still, six months later. Reteaching how to brush his teeth, how to bathe, how to use the toilet and clean himself, how to dress......each step must be taught and then reinforced daily until they, once again, become habit.
This morning, to my pleased surprise, Dale buttoned his whole shirt by himself! He has had especial trouble with buttons because his fingers will shake so much sometimes that buttoning is almost impossible. Usually I just automatically button his shirt. Today, we were talking when Dale reached for the first button and began trying to get it into that small buttonhole. I noticed this but just kept talking, and, before he even realized it, he had gotten the first one done! It took him about four tries, but he did it. He then began on the second one but got tired and asked for my help. Again, normally I would just do it for him, but this time I said, "No, Dale. You go ahead and keep trying." He grimaced but attacked the button again. Steadily he made his way down the shirt, needing four to six tries on each button before accomplishing the task. When he got to the end, I called his dad into the room and presented to him Dale's success. Chad was suitably impressed, and Dale was pleased with himself. Of course, this means that I will be less hands-on with the buttons and allow Dale to try more before offering help.
Thank You, Lord, for all You do, but especially, thank You, Lord, for healing my son. Dale has come so far in these past six months. When I think back to that day in August when we were unsure if Dale would survive or just go on home to Heaven and compare his prognosis then to what he can do now, I am amazed at our Lord's unspeakable power and might. He alone was able to show the water rescue team where Dale was; He alone was able to wake Dale up and have him speak; He alone has been able to so heal Dale's brain that speech is no longer a problem; He alone has the ability to reestablish those needed connections to allow Dale freedom of movement once again. Our God is able and willing to do wonderful works in our lives. We must be willing to allow Him to lead us "through the valley of the shadow of death" in order for His glorious light to illuminate our path. Thank You, my Father, for leading us. May we always follow You closely and trust in Your will.
Psalm 119: 105 "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Update Wednesday morning 2/1
Good morning! I have good news to report. Dale's MRI results came back normal! The nurse said, "It is a normal MRI of the brain." The doctor called later and talked to my husband; he said that no "issues" showed up, nothing to indicate a cause for Dale's seizures (of which he has not had any for two weeks and a day) and, apparently, nothing to prevent Dale from continuing to improve. The MRI that Dale had back at Doernbecher showed similar results. I remember hearing the doctor's words after that scan. The report was, "We don't see anything that he should not be able to recover from." Mind you, that test was run less than a week after Dale's drowning, and already the prognosis was incredible. What an amazing God we have Who is able to so heal the brain and cause neuro pathways to reconnect after injury!!! I have prayed soooo much since August 5th that Dale would recover fully from this accident, that God would heal him completely, and, frankly, that the healing would be quick. But I hastened to add that I trust Him to know what's best and what will bring Him the greatest glory, and, if He chooses to have Dale recover slowly through months---maybe years---of therapy rather than an instantaneous healing, I rest in His knowledge, His perfect will, His plan. I still sometimes wish that, one morning when I go in to awaken my son, he will be whole......completely normal.......and wondering what the fuss is all about. But I know my God is good. I know that He loves me to such an unfathomable extent that He sacrificed His Son on that old rugged cross in the mere hopes that I would turn to Him for salvation. Even then, He had no guarantee that I would serve Him willingly or faithfully. He loves me as I am, wretched sinner though I be. I cannot wrap my mind around God's love, committment, mercy, and grace. He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the Way, the Truth, the Life, the Door. I do not deserve to even live, much less be noticed or heard by Him......yet I know as surely as I breathe that my Father hears me when I pray and captures each tear I shed. His will is perfect, best, and utterly worthy; I can and do trust Him with my life, my future, and those of my husband and children as well. He will form Dale into what and who He wants him to be and will, one glorious day, present Dale to Himself as a jewel for His crown. Until then, we watch and wait: watch to see just how wonderful and miraculous our God is, watch to see His almighty plan unfold, watch for the moment the Bridegroom cometh; and wait on Him, as a servant waits hand and foot on a beloved master, as an excited retriever waits for the tossing of the stick, as a weary traveler waits impatiently for the long journey to be over so that he may rest. We serve a living God, a mighty God, a just God, a true God, a faithful God, a loving God. May we rest in Him.
Yesterday Dale saw a pediatric neuropsychologist to begin the six-month assessment. (I am so not typing that label out ever again!) Dr. Crain is very nice, and Dale liked him.....which is good because Dale will be working with him over two three-hour appointments to assess how well Dale is doing, how much he has progressed, what still remains to be improved upon, and how well Dale and his family are coping with the injury and resulting challenges. Dr. Crain talked with Dale and I about an hour in his office, dividing his time between asking me questions and giving me information and asking Dale things and explaining the assessment tests to him. He was also helpful in telling Dale why certain things are still hard for him (like walking) and giving him practical tips to use to aid his brain in commanding his body. Basically, he told Dale to "PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!" When Dale said that the biggest problem he has is walking because sometimes he falls, the doctor questioned him as to why he falls. Dale responded, "My legs sometimes just give out." Then the doctor used this illustration: When you touch a hot stove, your fingertips send your brain information (about the temperature). This is called "bottom up" communication. Conversely, when you want to reach for something on the desk before you, your brain sends information to your arm (about direction). This is called "top down" communication. Dale's brain needs to work on the "top down" communication because his body doesn't always respond immediately or correctly to what his brain is saying or how his brain is directing it to move. And, as with anything worth doing, the way to improve those lines of communication is to......practice. Dale seemed to understand this explanation fairly well, although he didn't seem pleased at the doctor's suggestion that Dale help out with more chores in order to get in good practice. But, the doctor backed up the PT and Chad and I on the issue of walking daily in order to practice making the body listen to the brain. The doctor gave other good suggestions and ideas, but the main idea was to help Dale find ways to improve that "top down" communication and so improve his balance, walking, shaking, learning, attention span, etc. After the office visit, I was able to schedule those two appointments for February 14th and 21st; at these appointments, Dale will be in the room, going through the assessment tests (whatever they may be) while I stay outside. Studies have shown (and I have witnessed as a teacher) how different a child's performance level can be with a parent present as opposed to without---usually the test results drop because the child responds differently while Mom or Dad is in the room. My first reaction was to throw up a wall of defense. I do not like leaving my child of any age in a room alone with anyone I do not know well. However, when I voiced this concern, the doctor was kind and understanding, offering me his credentials to examine, his work record, and listing the various security background checks he had to undergo to be licensed in the state of Washington. He then added that I was welcome to sit on the bench in the hallway right outside the door and peek in the window every once in a while to make sure all was well. (Initially he had said I could sit in the waiting room or go to the nearby mall.) I appreciated his kindness and acceptance of my concerns; of course, I was the only one with those concerns. My husband, upon hearing of this out-of-the-room stipulation, merely remarked that "Dale is 13 now; he'll be fine." I know that! I am not (terribly) over-protective of my children, but I can be a mother bear if I feel my children are being threatened or treated unfairly or made fun of or looked down upon or........maybe I do have a problem!!! :-) Truly, I'm not that bad, and I do believe Dale will be fine during these tests. The other concern is about Dale's medication. Usually we up the dosage on Tuesdays (only for another couple of weeks until he reaches three pills twice a day), but the only three-hour blocks the receptionist could find were both on Tuesdays! So, afterfretting stewing thinking about this half the night, I came to the brilliant conclusion that I don't technically have to up the dosage Tuesday morning. I can actually wait until that evening or even Wednesday morning to up his medication to its final dose. Am I not incredibly bright? (Insert tongue in cheek!) Sooooo, now that the logistics have all been figured out, we are all set in a couple of weeks to get Dale "checked out" mentally.
Something else the doctor said yesterday that made me know God is still working in Dale's brain: He mentioned that, having worked in some big children's hospitals and having read many different MRI results in his career, he noticed that usually the MRI comes back normal. If the scan results show a problem, then the doctors know what specific injury has occurred and what they can/can't do to help. In Dale's case, the MRI came back normal but Dale still has issues ---which means his issues are not damage-related but rather working pathway-related. These are things we can help with; these are things we can work with. I don't understand much about the brain, and every doctor we've ever talked to has said the same thing: With as much study of the brain as there has been, there is still so much the doctors don't understand about the way it works and connects and communicates. BUT......I know the God Who made the brain, and I have direct access to Him at any time of the day or night. He knows my desires for my son, and He knows what is best for Dale. He knows what is wrong in Dale's brain and what is right. He knows what is still injured and what is healed. He will make "every thing beautiful in His time." And, for this moment, that's enough for me. I can rest.
Ecclesiastes 3: 11 "He hath made every thing beautiful in His time: also He hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end."
Yesterday Dale saw a pediatric neuropsychologist to begin the six-month assessment. (I am so not typing that label out ever again!) Dr. Crain is very nice, and Dale liked him.....which is good because Dale will be working with him over two three-hour appointments to assess how well Dale is doing, how much he has progressed, what still remains to be improved upon, and how well Dale and his family are coping with the injury and resulting challenges. Dr. Crain talked with Dale and I about an hour in his office, dividing his time between asking me questions and giving me information and asking Dale things and explaining the assessment tests to him. He was also helpful in telling Dale why certain things are still hard for him (like walking) and giving him practical tips to use to aid his brain in commanding his body. Basically, he told Dale to "PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!" When Dale said that the biggest problem he has is walking because sometimes he falls, the doctor questioned him as to why he falls. Dale responded, "My legs sometimes just give out." Then the doctor used this illustration: When you touch a hot stove, your fingertips send your brain information (about the temperature). This is called "bottom up" communication. Conversely, when you want to reach for something on the desk before you, your brain sends information to your arm (about direction). This is called "top down" communication. Dale's brain needs to work on the "top down" communication because his body doesn't always respond immediately or correctly to what his brain is saying or how his brain is directing it to move. And, as with anything worth doing, the way to improve those lines of communication is to......practice. Dale seemed to understand this explanation fairly well, although he didn't seem pleased at the doctor's suggestion that Dale help out with more chores in order to get in good practice. But, the doctor backed up the PT and Chad and I on the issue of walking daily in order to practice making the body listen to the brain. The doctor gave other good suggestions and ideas, but the main idea was to help Dale find ways to improve that "top down" communication and so improve his balance, walking, shaking, learning, attention span, etc. After the office visit, I was able to schedule those two appointments for February 14th and 21st; at these appointments, Dale will be in the room, going through the assessment tests (whatever they may be) while I stay outside. Studies have shown (and I have witnessed as a teacher) how different a child's performance level can be with a parent present as opposed to without---usually the test results drop because the child responds differently while Mom or Dad is in the room. My first reaction was to throw up a wall of defense. I do not like leaving my child of any age in a room alone with anyone I do not know well. However, when I voiced this concern, the doctor was kind and understanding, offering me his credentials to examine, his work record, and listing the various security background checks he had to undergo to be licensed in the state of Washington. He then added that I was welcome to sit on the bench in the hallway right outside the door and peek in the window every once in a while to make sure all was well. (Initially he had said I could sit in the waiting room or go to the nearby mall.) I appreciated his kindness and acceptance of my concerns; of course, I was the only one with those concerns. My husband, upon hearing of this out-of-the-room stipulation, merely remarked that "Dale is 13 now; he'll be fine." I know that! I am not (terribly) over-protective of my children, but I can be a mother bear if I feel my children are being threatened or treated unfairly or made fun of or looked down upon or........maybe I do have a problem!!! :-) Truly, I'm not that bad, and I do believe Dale will be fine during these tests. The other concern is about Dale's medication. Usually we up the dosage on Tuesdays (only for another couple of weeks until he reaches three pills twice a day), but the only three-hour blocks the receptionist could find were both on Tuesdays! So, after
Something else the doctor said yesterday that made me know God is still working in Dale's brain: He mentioned that, having worked in some big children's hospitals and having read many different MRI results in his career, he noticed that usually the MRI comes back normal. If the scan results show a problem, then the doctors know what specific injury has occurred and what they can/can't do to help. In Dale's case, the MRI came back normal but Dale still has issues ---which means his issues are not damage-related but rather working pathway-related. These are things we can help with; these are things we can work with. I don't understand much about the brain, and every doctor we've ever talked to has said the same thing: With as much study of the brain as there has been, there is still so much the doctors don't understand about the way it works and connects and communicates. BUT......I know the God Who made the brain, and I have direct access to Him at any time of the day or night. He knows my desires for my son, and He knows what is best for Dale. He knows what is wrong in Dale's brain and what is right. He knows what is still injured and what is healed. He will make "every thing beautiful in His time." And, for this moment, that's enough for me. I can rest.
Ecclesiastes 3: 11 "He hath made every thing beautiful in His time: also He hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end."
Monday, January 30, 2012
Update Monday evening 1/30
I have this really bad habit. I look ahead at planned events---anything, ranging from family vacations to Christmas programs to doctor appointments, imagine the worst possible scenario, and then proceed to believe it will come true. I worry and fret myself into bad moods, tummy aches, headaches, and general misery.......only to find that it's never as bad as I feared. Usually, at the end of the day, I wind up admitting that I, once again, over-dramatized the situation, blowing everything out of proportion. I spend a goodly portion of my time apologizing to my friends, family, husband, children, God, neighbor, grocery clerk, stranger on the street corner......you get the idea! And for what? Not trusting God to be big enough to handle my life with its extremely difficult, mountainous challenges (my thinking) which are actually small hills of testing (His thinking). Here we go again.......!
Today, Dale had PT in the morning. He excelled at this! Considering the struggles we all had trying to get Dale to walk, I expected Dale to stumble around and complain the whole hour. Instead, he had a really good day. The therapist took Dale outside the PT gym to the sky bridge and had him use a cane for support. Initially, she held his hand while he held the cane in the other. Gradually, she transferred to a finger-hold, then gripping the back of his jacket, then walking backwards in front of him with me walking behind. When she walked in front of Dale, she again used the gradual release method. She started Dale out using both hands to grip the cane like a balancing pole in front of him; then she held the stick end while he held the curved handle; then she had Dale hold the stick end. We made several trips back and forth across the sky bridge and, each time, Dale's balance and steadiness increased. He began to take longer, more natural strides and stopped pausing every two or three steps. The therapist was very good about praising Dale for his wonderful walking and pointing out the improvements he was making. She made sure he realized that, by walking with a longer and more natural stride, he needed less support---and felt good about it, to boot!
Then came the real challenge. When we re-entered the PT gym, she let Dale rest a bit with a cup of water while she set up a balance obstacle course. She found two half-sphere rubber shapes (they looked like rubber balls cut in half with little nubs around the outside!); these she laid on the floor for him to step on first. Next, she laid out a flat rubber balance beam, followed by a taller, wooden balance beam. She reversed the order after the wooden balance beam, putting down another flat rubber balance beam and finishing up with two more half-sphere rubber shapes. She assured Dale that she would not let him fall and that she would be holding both of his hands the whole way across. Dale then stepped on the first half-ball---that was hard. He then had to step from the first to the second half-ball---that was very hard! He did pretty well on the flat balance beam, although he found it difficult to put one foot in front of the other and even "fell" once (since she was holding both of his hands, she was able to lower him to the floor). She was very smart, giving Dale space to get his knees under him, get up on one knee, and stand up on his own. Dale "fell" about three more times because his legs kept buckling, but, each time, he found his own balance and got himself up. Each time, as well, she had Dale remount the balance beam where he left off, not allowing him to cheat at all but finish the course. The taller, wooden balance beam gave him serious trouble; Dale really had a hard time keeping his balance on it because it required his ankles to be even more supportive than normal. (This was where he "fell" three more times, twice in just trying to get his feet to obey him and step down off the tall balance beam onto the flat one. But, eventually, Dale succeeded!!! He made it all the way across the obstacle course, gratefully stepping onto the silly half-spheres at the end to be done! As his therapist put it, "Both he and I were sweaty by the end!" I was so pleased with the way Dale worked hard.
We went home for lunch; then, about 2:00 p.m., we headed for his MRI appointment. Yes, this is the one I was so worked up about. I was concerned that Dale would not be able to lie still that long, that he would fidget and shift and mess up the scan, and that he would get claustrophobic inside the machine. In reality, none of this happened. Dale did great, even going so far as to fall asleep during the scan! The technician and I helped Dale onto the narrow table. He shook a good bit but was able to get situated. She strapped a "seat belt" across his waist; I think this helped him feel secure. She placed a set of headphones on him and laid a washcloth over his eyes before fastening the front mask-like part of the machine over his face. He was already holding very still. She then pressed the button to roll the table into the scanner; having done so, she waited beside him until she could tell he had calmed down. I was able to stand right next to him with my hand on his leg to give him extra comfort. The technician turned on a classical music station for him to listen to (my request), and, before long, Dale had drifted off to sleep! She was able to run the entire test with Dale moving only once---and that was unconsciously. While he was sleeping, his nose began to itch......so he reached up to scratch it! Once the test was completed, I asked the tech if the nose scratching had been a problem; she said, "Yes, but I just reran the scan." Dale and I both were glad the test was over---that thing is incredibly LOUD! And, I must admit, my headache was unwarranted because Dale did fine. The technician assured Dale that he would do great on "the next one" because he had held so still for this one. My immediate reaction was to think, "No! I don't want another one run." But, truth be told, Dale probably will need to undergo at least one more MRI so the neurologist can see how much his brain is healing. Thank You, Lord, for hearing my constant prayer during the MRI to help Dale hold still. Now we get to wait for the results!
I have to sign off now but not before I thank all of you again for your prayers and support. We have felt loved and encouraged every day since Dale's injury. God bless you greatly.
John 4: 14 "But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."
Today, Dale had PT in the morning. He excelled at this! Considering the struggles we all had trying to get Dale to walk, I expected Dale to stumble around and complain the whole hour. Instead, he had a really good day. The therapist took Dale outside the PT gym to the sky bridge and had him use a cane for support. Initially, she held his hand while he held the cane in the other. Gradually, she transferred to a finger-hold, then gripping the back of his jacket, then walking backwards in front of him with me walking behind. When she walked in front of Dale, she again used the gradual release method. She started Dale out using both hands to grip the cane like a balancing pole in front of him; then she held the stick end while he held the curved handle; then she had Dale hold the stick end. We made several trips back and forth across the sky bridge and, each time, Dale's balance and steadiness increased. He began to take longer, more natural strides and stopped pausing every two or three steps. The therapist was very good about praising Dale for his wonderful walking and pointing out the improvements he was making. She made sure he realized that, by walking with a longer and more natural stride, he needed less support---and felt good about it, to boot!
Then came the real challenge. When we re-entered the PT gym, she let Dale rest a bit with a cup of water while she set up a balance obstacle course. She found two half-sphere rubber shapes (they looked like rubber balls cut in half with little nubs around the outside!); these she laid on the floor for him to step on first. Next, she laid out a flat rubber balance beam, followed by a taller, wooden balance beam. She reversed the order after the wooden balance beam, putting down another flat rubber balance beam and finishing up with two more half-sphere rubber shapes. She assured Dale that she would not let him fall and that she would be holding both of his hands the whole way across. Dale then stepped on the first half-ball---that was hard. He then had to step from the first to the second half-ball---that was very hard! He did pretty well on the flat balance beam, although he found it difficult to put one foot in front of the other and even "fell" once (since she was holding both of his hands, she was able to lower him to the floor). She was very smart, giving Dale space to get his knees under him, get up on one knee, and stand up on his own. Dale "fell" about three more times because his legs kept buckling, but, each time, he found his own balance and got himself up. Each time, as well, she had Dale remount the balance beam where he left off, not allowing him to cheat at all but finish the course. The taller, wooden balance beam gave him serious trouble; Dale really had a hard time keeping his balance on it because it required his ankles to be even more supportive than normal. (This was where he "fell" three more times, twice in just trying to get his feet to obey him and step down off the tall balance beam onto the flat one. But, eventually, Dale succeeded!!! He made it all the way across the obstacle course, gratefully stepping onto the silly half-spheres at the end to be done! As his therapist put it, "Both he and I were sweaty by the end!" I was so pleased with the way Dale worked hard.
We went home for lunch; then, about 2:00 p.m., we headed for his MRI appointment. Yes, this is the one I was so worked up about. I was concerned that Dale would not be able to lie still that long, that he would fidget and shift and mess up the scan, and that he would get claustrophobic inside the machine. In reality, none of this happened. Dale did great, even going so far as to fall asleep during the scan! The technician and I helped Dale onto the narrow table. He shook a good bit but was able to get situated. She strapped a "seat belt" across his waist; I think this helped him feel secure. She placed a set of headphones on him and laid a washcloth over his eyes before fastening the front mask-like part of the machine over his face. He was already holding very still. She then pressed the button to roll the table into the scanner; having done so, she waited beside him until she could tell he had calmed down. I was able to stand right next to him with my hand on his leg to give him extra comfort. The technician turned on a classical music station for him to listen to (my request), and, before long, Dale had drifted off to sleep! She was able to run the entire test with Dale moving only once---and that was unconsciously. While he was sleeping, his nose began to itch......so he reached up to scratch it! Once the test was completed, I asked the tech if the nose scratching had been a problem; she said, "Yes, but I just reran the scan." Dale and I both were glad the test was over---that thing is incredibly LOUD! And, I must admit, my headache was unwarranted because Dale did fine. The technician assured Dale that he would do great on "the next one" because he had held so still for this one. My immediate reaction was to think, "No! I don't want another one run." But, truth be told, Dale probably will need to undergo at least one more MRI so the neurologist can see how much his brain is healing. Thank You, Lord, for hearing my constant prayer during the MRI to help Dale hold still. Now we get to wait for the results!
I have to sign off now but not before I thank all of you again for your prayers and support. We have felt loved and encouraged every day since Dale's injury. God bless you greatly.
John 4: 14 "But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Update Saturday afternoon 1/28
Why does it seem that we get less done when we have "days off" than when we are madly scurrying about following our usual busy schedule? Does that happen to anyone else, or am I just incredibly lazy when I don't have to get something done? On the heels of our snow days off school, we had a planned two-day school week, giving us Wednesday through Friday off. Unfortunately, Dale had PT scheduled for 8:30 a.m. Wednesday, so neither he nor I got to take advantage of the opportunity to sleep in. PT went well; Dale performed his usual exercises and even got some practice in falling. The therapist laid out a padded mat and proceeded to show Dale how much fun falling can be. She pretended to trip a few times, causing herself to sprawl on the mat, which, of course, set Dale laughing. Then, it was his turn. He willingly rolled off the Total Gym machine onto the mat. It took him a few seconds to stop shaking, realizing that, once he was down, there was nowhere else to go but up. She then had Dale stand and repeat the falling procedure several times, just letting him flop prostrate and then steady himself before getting to his knees. By the time he was done with that exercise, Dale didn't fear falling quite so much---although we've noticed that the fear still shadows his every movement.
We got home Wednesday in time for an early lunch (I keep typing the word "munch" by accident!). The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing about, then taking the girls up to church for teen soulwinning. We, of course, headed for church later that evening for the service. By the way, last week's service had to be held in one of the portables behind our main auditorium building because of the power outage. We were homebound due to ice and snow, but there were a select few who managed to get there. I imagine that time together will be a precious bonding memory for those who were present.
By Thursday, Dale had forgotten the therapist's instructions about not needing help around the house. He was back to whining and crying if he had to take any steps without holding on desperately to someone or something. By the time Chad got home from work that afternoon, I had had enough. I felt like Dale was no longer listening to me---I could talk until I was blue in the face, but his mind was made up; I felt like Dale had given up, was not willing to even try to walk any on his own; I felt like Dale had decided that this was as good as it gets and there was no need to try to improve past this point. Chad took over then, relieving me in many ways! He took Dale for a walk, giving him assistance for most of the time but making Dale walk on his own from the end of the street back to our driveway. It was then that Chad saw how Dale acts, hunching over, always reaching out for anything to grab, taking only a couple of steps before halting, constantly thinking he is going to fall. Chad gave Dale a good pep talk and laid out some guidelines for Dale to remember to follow on future walks. The rules are: (1) keep your arms down, not up around your shoulders because this is a sign of fear, and (2) walk foot-over-foot, not scooting crab-like because this is also a sign of fear. Chad even had Dale write these two rules down ten times each to firmly plant them in his mind. We are attempting to target the signs of Dale's fear and point them out to him so he can see when he is fearful and what he can physically do to overcome that fear. Chad further said that Dale needs to take a walk every day whether or not he had PT already. He's right---this should help Dale recover his ability to walk properly, confidently, and surely.
On Friday, Dale and I went to SP where he proceeded to work hard despite the numerous distractions that the therapist deliberately set in motion.......she turned on a cartoon; she set her computer to beep whenever she got a message; she tapped her pencil frequently. She is working with Dale to improve his ability to shut out distractions, keep his mind focused on the task at hand, and increase his endurance. Dale can usually work steadily for about 35 minutes before his brain begins to tire. She explained it like this: When someone first starts to run, they tire easily because they are out of shape. They must run for a short time at first, then gradually increase the time until they are able to run steadily for an hour or so. This does not come easily; they must work hard and endure being worn out to accomplish their goal. So it is with Dale's brain because of the injury. His brain is "out of shape" and must be exercised in order to get it back in shape. This takes a lot of hard work and leaves Dale tired mentally (and physically!), but the results will be worth it. It's interesting to watch Dale in SP. He starts out so well, listening and answering questions with minimal interruptions. When he hits that 35 - 40 minute mark, you can almost see the energy drain out of him. He slumps more in his chair; his eyes take on a slightly glazed look; he blinks more slowly. He'll listen to a question but take longer to respond. It's almost as if he has to catch himself, take a deep breath, and deliberately make his brain form the answer. But this is all good for him; he needs this mental exercise to get his brain back in shape. Even though he is responding well in SP and, in fact, is doing so well that the therapist is dropping him down to one session a week now, Dale still has a long way to go to be "back to normal."
I was really proud of him for keeping on with his routine even though, Friday morning, he woke up super shaky. His legs gave out twice just getting into the bathroom. Considering the bathroom is not that big an area, he had quite a workout getting off the floor! It was indeed a challenge for him to get dressed and groom himself. Then he had to face the dreaded stairs. We took our time and let him step down carefully one step at a time (as usual), but I think we were all relieved when he reached the bottom. Once we were in the van headed for SP, Dale was able to just sit for 40 minutes, and this helped steady him some. Maybe the medication is doing some good after all because, even though he was very shaky and had to deal with jerking limbs, Dale did not have a seizure. He hasn't had one in a week and a half. Yea!!!
***PRAISE POINT****Dale walked down the first flight of stairs in our house (seven steps) by himself this morning!!! He did not hold my hand at all; he used the handrail for support and took his time. On the last step, his leg weakened and he sat down heavily on the step behind him, but, when he was ready, he stood, regained his position on that last stair, and stepped down by himself. I'm so proud of him!!!
This afternoon, I took Dale for his walk. I teased him that we needed to put a leash on him since he was "going for a walk." He rather resented that! It took Dale about ten minutes to settle down and actually walk without jerking to a stop every three steps. Chad had said that Dale took about 30 steps without pausing the day before, and I was secretly determined to beat that record! So I like a little competition---what's wrong with that? Well........ Anyway, once Dale stopped over-thinking it, he was able to walk naturally, still needing to stop if he felt out of balance or got distracted. The simplest things distract him like a child riding her bike, a crack in the sidewalk, or litter. I finally realized that, the less attention I give the distractions when he mentions them, the less important they become, allowing Dale to resume to motion of walking. And the winner is.......DALE!!! He took 60 steps in a row without pausing! I was holding his hand, but he was not gripping my hand tightly or jerking along. He walked beautifully! When we reached the end house's driveway, I let go of Dale's hand and told him to walk on his own back home. I pinched the back of his jacket with two fingers which apparently gave him enough confidence and support to walk carefully back to our driveway. He was still hesitant, but he did it without complaint. Sixty small steps for Dale, one giant leap for his excited mama!!!
A couple of prayer requests: (1) On Monday afternoon, Dale will have an MRI done. The neurologist ordered the test, desiring to compare the results of this one with the MRI Dale had done back at Doernbecher in August. (I think he just wants to be sure Dale actually has a brain! :-} ) (2) On Tuesday afternoon, Dale will see the doctor to begin his neuro evaluation. The doctor wants to meet with him to get some idea of the tests that should be performed; I have no idea what to expect, so I cannot "prepare" Dale for this appointment. Please pray, not only for wisdom for the doctors involved, but for Dale's performance during these tests as well. I'm not sure Dale can hold still for the hour needed to complete the MRI, and I'm already worried that he will not "do well" on these neuro tests and seem less improved than he really is. I know these tests are not the pass/fail kind and are designed to best demonstrate how much Dale has healed and where he still needs help; I guess I'm just being a mom---I don't want anyone looking at my child and thinking he is slow, you know? I still cringe a bit in public, waiting for some unkind person or unknowing child to say, "Why do you have to hold his hand? Isn't he a little big for that?" This has never happened; in fact, just the opposite is true. We have gotten nothing but kind, caring glances and smiles from those who realize Dale's condition and see his need. We have even received offers of help from complete strangers in the elevator, going through a doorway, at the pharmacy. I know this is just the devil, that old snake, taking my fears and worries and magnifying them beyond proportion. I talk to God regularly about this, verbally giving Him my worries and then mentally shouldering them as I walk away. Eventually, when I 'm old and gray---or dead and in Heaven!---I will have learned to trust God implicitly without hesitation. For now, though, I'm still in the choose-to-trust-Him-every-day (every-hour!) phase. And, really, that's not a bad place to be, is it?
I Peter 5: 7 "Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you."
We got home Wednesday in time for an early lunch (I keep typing the word "munch" by accident!). The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing about, then taking the girls up to church for teen soulwinning. We, of course, headed for church later that evening for the service. By the way, last week's service had to be held in one of the portables behind our main auditorium building because of the power outage. We were homebound due to ice and snow, but there were a select few who managed to get there. I imagine that time together will be a precious bonding memory for those who were present.
By Thursday, Dale had forgotten the therapist's instructions about not needing help around the house. He was back to whining and crying if he had to take any steps without holding on desperately to someone or something. By the time Chad got home from work that afternoon, I had had enough. I felt like Dale was no longer listening to me---I could talk until I was blue in the face, but his mind was made up; I felt like Dale had given up, was not willing to even try to walk any on his own; I felt like Dale had decided that this was as good as it gets and there was no need to try to improve past this point. Chad took over then, relieving me in many ways! He took Dale for a walk, giving him assistance for most of the time but making Dale walk on his own from the end of the street back to our driveway. It was then that Chad saw how Dale acts, hunching over, always reaching out for anything to grab, taking only a couple of steps before halting, constantly thinking he is going to fall. Chad gave Dale a good pep talk and laid out some guidelines for Dale to remember to follow on future walks. The rules are: (1) keep your arms down, not up around your shoulders because this is a sign of fear, and (2) walk foot-over-foot, not scooting crab-like because this is also a sign of fear. Chad even had Dale write these two rules down ten times each to firmly plant them in his mind. We are attempting to target the signs of Dale's fear and point them out to him so he can see when he is fearful and what he can physically do to overcome that fear. Chad further said that Dale needs to take a walk every day whether or not he had PT already. He's right---this should help Dale recover his ability to walk properly, confidently, and surely.
On Friday, Dale and I went to SP where he proceeded to work hard despite the numerous distractions that the therapist deliberately set in motion.......she turned on a cartoon; she set her computer to beep whenever she got a message; she tapped her pencil frequently. She is working with Dale to improve his ability to shut out distractions, keep his mind focused on the task at hand, and increase his endurance. Dale can usually work steadily for about 35 minutes before his brain begins to tire. She explained it like this: When someone first starts to run, they tire easily because they are out of shape. They must run for a short time at first, then gradually increase the time until they are able to run steadily for an hour or so. This does not come easily; they must work hard and endure being worn out to accomplish their goal. So it is with Dale's brain because of the injury. His brain is "out of shape" and must be exercised in order to get it back in shape. This takes a lot of hard work and leaves Dale tired mentally (and physically!), but the results will be worth it. It's interesting to watch Dale in SP. He starts out so well, listening and answering questions with minimal interruptions. When he hits that 35 - 40 minute mark, you can almost see the energy drain out of him. He slumps more in his chair; his eyes take on a slightly glazed look; he blinks more slowly. He'll listen to a question but take longer to respond. It's almost as if he has to catch himself, take a deep breath, and deliberately make his brain form the answer. But this is all good for him; he needs this mental exercise to get his brain back in shape. Even though he is responding well in SP and, in fact, is doing so well that the therapist is dropping him down to one session a week now, Dale still has a long way to go to be "back to normal."
I was really proud of him for keeping on with his routine even though, Friday morning, he woke up super shaky. His legs gave out twice just getting into the bathroom. Considering the bathroom is not that big an area, he had quite a workout getting off the floor! It was indeed a challenge for him to get dressed and groom himself. Then he had to face the dreaded stairs. We took our time and let him step down carefully one step at a time (as usual), but I think we were all relieved when he reached the bottom. Once we were in the van headed for SP, Dale was able to just sit for 40 minutes, and this helped steady him some. Maybe the medication is doing some good after all because, even though he was very shaky and had to deal with jerking limbs, Dale did not have a seizure. He hasn't had one in a week and a half. Yea!!!
***PRAISE POINT****Dale walked down the first flight of stairs in our house (seven steps) by himself this morning!!! He did not hold my hand at all; he used the handrail for support and took his time. On the last step, his leg weakened and he sat down heavily on the step behind him, but, when he was ready, he stood, regained his position on that last stair, and stepped down by himself. I'm so proud of him!!!
This afternoon, I took Dale for his walk. I teased him that we needed to put a leash on him since he was "going for a walk." He rather resented that! It took Dale about ten minutes to settle down and actually walk without jerking to a stop every three steps. Chad had said that Dale took about 30 steps without pausing the day before, and I was secretly determined to beat that record! So I like a little competition---what's wrong with that? Well........ Anyway, once Dale stopped over-thinking it, he was able to walk naturally, still needing to stop if he felt out of balance or got distracted. The simplest things distract him like a child riding her bike, a crack in the sidewalk, or litter. I finally realized that, the less attention I give the distractions when he mentions them, the less important they become, allowing Dale to resume to motion of walking. And the winner is.......DALE!!! He took 60 steps in a row without pausing! I was holding his hand, but he was not gripping my hand tightly or jerking along. He walked beautifully! When we reached the end house's driveway, I let go of Dale's hand and told him to walk on his own back home. I pinched the back of his jacket with two fingers which apparently gave him enough confidence and support to walk carefully back to our driveway. He was still hesitant, but he did it without complaint. Sixty small steps for Dale, one giant leap for his excited mama!!!
A couple of prayer requests: (1) On Monday afternoon, Dale will have an MRI done. The neurologist ordered the test, desiring to compare the results of this one with the MRI Dale had done back at Doernbecher in August. (I think he just wants to be sure Dale actually has a brain! :-} ) (2) On Tuesday afternoon, Dale will see the doctor to begin his neuro evaluation. The doctor wants to meet with him to get some idea of the tests that should be performed; I have no idea what to expect, so I cannot "prepare" Dale for this appointment. Please pray, not only for wisdom for the doctors involved, but for Dale's performance during these tests as well. I'm not sure Dale can hold still for the hour needed to complete the MRI, and I'm already worried that he will not "do well" on these neuro tests and seem less improved than he really is. I know these tests are not the pass/fail kind and are designed to best demonstrate how much Dale has healed and where he still needs help; I guess I'm just being a mom---I don't want anyone looking at my child and thinking he is slow, you know? I still cringe a bit in public, waiting for some unkind person or unknowing child to say, "Why do you have to hold his hand? Isn't he a little big for that?" This has never happened; in fact, just the opposite is true. We have gotten nothing but kind, caring glances and smiles from those who realize Dale's condition and see his need. We have even received offers of help from complete strangers in the elevator, going through a doorway, at the pharmacy. I know this is just the devil, that old snake, taking my fears and worries and magnifying them beyond proportion. I talk to God regularly about this, verbally giving Him my worries and then mentally shouldering them as I walk away. Eventually, when I 'm old and gray---or dead and in Heaven!---I will have learned to trust God implicitly without hesitation. For now, though, I'm still in the choose-to-trust-Him-every-day (every-hour!) phase. And, really, that's not a bad place to be, is it?
I Peter 5: 7 "Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you."
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